I will always be a teacher...

“Momma, can I tell ya something?” Her cruly hair covering an eye and her feckles somehow a truer brown in the light. I nodded, and studied her face. She seemed calm, relaxed and brushed her hair back. “I really really liked spending this day with you…you weren’t…busy.” She looks up at me and I crack a smile, as it cracks my heart..just a little because I knew she was right. “Me too baby. I can’t wait to be able to spend more days like today with you.”And just like that peace of my decision fell over me.

 If you’ve not heard yet let me catch you up to speed. We are moving. Stephen was a top pick for a new job opportunity in San Antonio where he will be working as a software engineer and I will stay home. While it was a tough decision to leave or stay, with prayer and communication we both agreed that this transition will be a blessing to our little family.

There was silence after my daughter's comment, which gave me room to think about the new opportunity to be able to focus inward for a season, to grow and strengthen as a family, to learn more about one another, to have a better schedule to raise our babies, to make Jesus even more the center of the Vanovers home, to focus on us for some time. I sat down and thought after all these years, life is finally going to slow down some for us. Or, perhaps a better way to say it is we will be more available for one another.

Many of you know our journey from where we came to where we are now. It has been nothing short of a wild ride, and I can’t complain I have loved a piece of every step; however, when your husband takes you on vacation to relax and he tells you several times, “baby, I’m not sure you know how to relax,” you have a problem. Being candid here for just a minute, knowing that about myself does make me feel a bit intimidated about what is to come, because for so long my mentality has been go, go, go, but understanding that there is no higher calling than to serve my family--to serve my husband, to serve my children and raise them, makes the challenge an honor.

I cannot wait to see what all the kiddos and I get to do together. The paintings, the crafts, the play dates, the silly songs we’ll sing, the focus I’ll be able to give. It is overwhelming to think about.


Someone asked, “Are you so sad about not teaching anymore?” I thought about it for a while and then answered ,” No, I will always be a teacher. My teaching may look a little different now, but I will continue to teach, even if it is just my own children. There is so much to explain, show, and tell them, just so much to learn.” She smiled and I can’t tell you the smile it brought to my face to say that. The feeling was even better.

So friends, I sincerely ask, would you please join us in prayer on this next chapter of our lifes?



Here’s to being a stay at home Momma & teacher : )
Love,
Est

I don't have to imagine anymore

Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after He had dismissed the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. When evening came, He was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them.  And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid."
And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Matthew 14:22-30



I sit here and think of the many times I have read this passage and it was just a good story.

Today though, I couldn’t help but to picture this all. I imagine the relationship Jesus and Peter had. I think of what it must have felt like to walk out on the water to Jesus and I picture His hand extended out to Peter. This image stays in my mind for a good few minutes.

I paint a picture in my mind of what it would have been like to be Peter that night and as I ponder the thought of would I have done the same as Peter...

..... I realize I already do.

I sit here and I reflect on all the times in my life where like Peter, I too, have cried out in fear, where I too have questioned Jesus if it really is You….or even more recently like Peter took my eyes off Jesus for a split second to pay attention to the noise around me. I think of the times I have felt the very same drowning feeling of, Oh Jesus save me! And just as my lips whispers that, I imagine what it would have been like to actually hear the voice of Jesus against the rushing waves & winds saying, “Do not be afraid.”

When you stop for a moment and picture that it does something down to your core. I think in moments, we can all be Peters, but today my heart has understood something new.

You see, I don't have to imagine this anymore, because this same message that He was sharing with Peter is the very same message He has for me too.


     

                                                                                              With love,
                                                                                                      Est

I want to hold your hand so you can hold the worlds.

I don't know when it happened, but I have fallen in love with journaling. I feel like I communicate best with pen and paper. Maybe it is because I can say everything I need to say with no interruptions and when it doesn't come out right, there's an eraser. Too bad life doesn't have an eraser when people make mistakes. The problem isn't that people are making mistakes per se, we are all human, what's tough to swallow is when it is broadcasted for the world to see and behaviors that our grandparents would find appalling become the "norm" I am sure most mothers then wrestle with how can we keep our children from this?  The world has always been a sinful place with tradegies, but I notice a fast pace, free spirit, live your life how you want progression in our culture that honestly, worries me. Anyways, I decided since this was on my heart that I would write a letter to Adalie in hopes to get what I feel on paper and edit or add to before I get it in her journal.

Dear Adalie,
I always want to hold your hand. I want to be there to lift you up when you get knocked or pushed down, to be there to guide you along tiny paths, and to reassure you that I am beside you. I sometimes  look around and feel the need to tighten my grip & sheild you. As badly as those desires are, deep in my heart I know that is not the right answer. I'm still new to motherhood and I am still looking for those right answers to give you, but I know that a piece of my job is to raise & teach you how to positively impact your world, wherever that may be, not fear it. Fear inables you & you, sweet baby, have a world in front of you to help change.
Jesus said that in this world we would have trouble. I am writing you today to tell you that He is very right. In my world as a teenager the trouble I wish I would have known was ahead of me was: people will tease you for believing and living out what you believe, but don't change your beliefs to gain popularity or be "in." You please the Lord not people. Not everyone you meet will like you and that is ok.You will never be able to be all things to all people and you will only hurt yourself by trying to keep everyone happy. If you only find one true friend, you're in a good place. Friends will make mistakes, don't ditch them when they do. Forgive them. Lift them up because when you make mistakes you will want that help to. People will befriend you for wrong reasons, pray up & ask the Lord to give you discernment who to keep at a distance and who to share the secrets of your heart with. Don't let compliments go to your head, (no one likes an arrogant friend) & don't let criticisim stay in your heart. There will be many times in a group that you will hear someone bad mouth another girl/guy whether you know it to be true or not keep your mouth shut, but if you feel led to say anything find something positive to say. You may get a few rolled eyes, but always look for the good in people I promise you will find it somewhere. People will fasely accuse you, judge you, pick you apart (sometimes even if they are your friends)-- just know who you are be settled in that-- you do not always have to defend yourself, let your everyday testimony speak for you. If you say you will do something, do it. When a friend shares a secret with you keep that to yourself. Trust is so hard to get back. Don't pretend to be somebody you are not. Feel proud and unashamed of where you come from. Speak up for those that don't have a voice. Genuinely befriend the rejects & the poor not so you can appear to be a good person, just be a good person. Never think of yourself too mighty for anyone else, let humility rule your heart. Give compliments often, love with your whole heart. Be careful with your words, even when giving advice, be careful with your words- make sure they align with God's Word. Words have so much power, but so do your thoughts. Keep your thoughts clean. When you think bad things about someone remember you do not know what life experiences they have been through that has aided in making them who they are & it isn't your place to condemn them. Be graceful. Have a contagious smile and smile a lot. Don't believe everything you hear, especially from boys. Do not dress like anything is for sale. You probably won't make it out the door anyways. Whatever you're doing give it all you have. Dream, dream, and dream some more. Not in class perferably ;) Have a good attitude and be light hearted. Don't wear your feelings on your sleeves. Enjoy your teenages years around good people doing good things.

Adalie, I can be guilty of worrying when I read the news or listen to stories about what is going on in our youth tpday. I worry about what I'm seeing and hearing could all attract you and mislead you, BUT then I hear stories like Julie Moore, Zach Hunter, Savaanah Bukant & Sadie Robertson and it gives me hope. Let me introduce you, let this attract you. Julie Moore came up with an idea of starting a bible study at her Indiana High school and she was heavily mocked and critized for it, but she didn't crumble under pressure and before too long a club was born. That same year they put a picture of "Couagers for Christ" group (Couagers is her high school mascot) in the high school yearbook and to this day it is still going strong! Zach Hunter, decided to take action when he learned there are approximately 20 to 30 million trafficked slaves in the world today. (I will explain what this means later) More than 70% are female and half are children. While in the seventh grade Zach came up with the idea to raise money to free slaves. He started a campaign called Loose Change to Loosen Chains, to support groups that rescue slaves. His school and youth group students raised more than $8,500 to rescue victims of slavery and other forms of oppression. Now hundreds of student groups have launched Loose Change to Loosen Chains to join his efforts. Svannah Bukant, a high school senior in Washington, chose to funnel her passion for orphans into the project and contacted Compassion International to see how she could help. She decided to raise the funds to start a cottage for orphaned children in Ethiopia. She held a walk-a-thon, benefit concert, car wash, letter campaign, and church presentation! At the end of 3 months, she had raised $18,000 to help orphans in Ethiopia! Then there is 16 year old Sadie Robertson from Duck Dynasty. You're a huge fan of Sadie already, but you probably don't know that she is that she is producing weekly video devotionals on Monday nights called “I Am Different.” She is also designing a clothing line in an effort to encourage modesty in a culture where fashion trends are often contrary to the ways of the Lord. These kids are making an impact, you can do the same! :)

Adi, I think I realize that this has done a lot for me too. Figuratively, I will always be holding your hand so you learn how to hold the worlds. Be a world changer baby!

I love you,
Momma bear

Tips for Play Time for a Busy Momma

                                                       


       So, you’re a mom. You have a full time job, a husband, 2 plus kids, a week’s worth of laundry, 2 dogs, a cat, and you wish there were more time in a day? Perfect, you fit right in!

      According to the 2012 U.S. Census 71% of all mothers hold a full time job. That makes thousands of us all trying to raise children, have successful careers, keep the home, and make time for ourselves as well as for our spouse. As a mother myself, I know all the different directions I get pulled so today I want to talk about a direction that is very important, but gets less time than the time we have for ourselves. That’s play time with our kids. I did a poll of 50 mothers that were either family or friends of mine. The poll was the average number of hours they spent with their kiddos. According to my poll the average number was 1.3 solid hours of play time per day with their children.

        With iPhones, iPads, iPods, and video games competing with your children’s attention it can be easy to allow technology to substitute the connection between you and your children, or make up for the time we do not always have to personally give them. Dr. Amanda Gummer a psychologist specializing in play and parenting suggests that children whom have play time with their parents will reap great benefits throughout their life. She explains that many types of play all contribute to different abilities a child will need throughout their life. Active play develops fitness and strength, role play can develop the imagination, crafts and construction develops creativity. (insert citation here)

      Giving your children permission to imagine and be creative with you subliminally sends them a message that they can trust you. They feel safe thus in their latter years they can feel free to express to you some of their worries, fears, or concerns. As you read this you think that is wonderful, and I need to play more with my child; I just wish I had the time.

      What if I told you there is a way to bridge the gap between dinner, laundry, dishes, cleaning rooms/bathrooms and playing with your child, all while being efficient with your time so you have some for yourself and your spouse at the end of the night? “Is that even possible?” You asked? It is.

      Today I’d like to share a few creative tips I have learned in my short 5 years of being a busy, working mother and wife to master all the above.

1.) As you’re making dinner include your children. Don’t shoo them out of the kitchen; some of the best science, math problems can be taught and stories can be told from cooking together. Let the children help with pouring and stirring. Explain where the food came from (the ground, an animal etc) this always brings up interesting questions and can encourage life lessons. Play restaurant as the children help set the table and fill the drinks.

2.) Doing laundry is definitely not one of my favorite things to do, but it is when I have my 5 year old playing basket-clothes. To play basket-clothes set out hampers and separate your clothing by taking turns to shoot the item into their correct baskets. Keep score, it is really fun to see their competitive side developing and their laughter when Momma misses.

3.) Do math while your children help you load the dishwasher. Ask them to count each item you give them to load. See how high they can count, and you can always do addition and subtraction, even multiplication or division for older kiddos.

4.) One of my most favorite cleaning games is playing Hotel Sweet. (This is the name of my daughter’s hotel) This is the best technique I have found to get my child to clean her room. I ask her if she has a room ready for me to check in-to and her face lights up because she knows we are about to get into character. She jumps up to clean her room and moments later she opens her bedroom door and hollers out," Hotel Sweet room 100 is ready for viewing." I roam around the room, like a guest looking at every crevice, and ask about all the accommodations of the hotel. I typically shake her hand and book her room for $5.00 (you can give whatever amount you’d like) her room definitely has the best rate in town! This is so much more appealing to a child than, “go clean your room,” and bonus they just earned allowance while having fun, playing and spending time with their parent.

5.) Clean your restroom while your child goes swimming! This is one of my children’s favorite games. Fill the tub of water and tell your child to imagine anything they want. They can go scuba diving, snorkeling, or swim in the ocean with dolphins. As your cleaning toilets and sinks ask questions about their play like, “I love all the bright fish I see; are you getting good pictures?” The children love it! Who would have thought that you could bathe your children while playing and cleaning!

     Learning how to incorporate play into my schedule of responsibilities as a mother and wife has not only opened up more time for me, but has also helped me have a well balanced home. I must admit that the most satisfying thing has been the realization that what children want isn’t materials or electronics, what my children truly want is me.

Here’s to more time, play and fun!



Sincerely,





Esther Vanover

I hate it when My children grumble.

It is good idea to take inventory of the things that occupy our hearts and it is very good to cultivate a thankful heart. Thankfulness isn't something that comes easy, especially when it is not around Thanksgiving, we have to remind ourselves to BE thankful. These thoughts have been provoked by 7 little words that I read in my devotional early this morning, "I hate it when My children grumble."
Ouch.
Think about that for a moment. I pictured God's face the best way my small mind could understand and the image pierced my heart. That one sentence made a shift in my heart and caused me to take a deep hard look into what all I have in it. I decided I would make a list of the things I grumble about. In other words, what do I complain about?
Can I be honest with you-I fought with my list. (And you probably will too.) I argued with each one about its legitimacy. I had a reason by golly, to complain about each one especially the ones that were out of my control. Though there may have some truth to that, I challenge you with the same little excerise the Lord had me do and I know you'll feel  Him helping you begin to culitvate a thankful heart.

So I made my list. I fought with it for some time then decided to let the Lord step in and show me what I needed to be shown. I went back over my grumbling list and made myself find things in each situation something, anything to be thankful for.

Ex: The complaint: I am blue in the face about respondsibility and getting homework turned in on time, but I can't get x, y & z students to listen. Finding something to be thankful for: At least I have a job, period. And secondly, there really are those out there that are listening that are being impacted when they may not be learning how to be respondsible at home?

A shift of focus has to occur in order to keep a thankful heart and it is hard to keep complaining over something you've just thanked God for.We have to make thankfulness rule our hearts at all times and in all circumstances or else bitterness can creep in.

Before you ex off the page there is one other thing the Lord spoke to me about sharing and that is complaining about our children. Aside from Jesus coming to die for you and I, our children are Gods' most precious gift to us. I am strongly convicted in this area and I want to share with you what I think of when my patience is running thin with my own children. I think, "Ok Esther, God is your Dad, how would you feel in this situation if He reacted towards you the way  you want to react towards Adalie/Maddox?" Sounds a little weird talking to yourself that way, but it sure does help. I mentioned that shifting focus is a key component to cultivating a thankful heart, well in those weak moments when I do not get it right, I have to check my attitude and remind myself that Adalie & Maddox did not ask to be here and neither did your children. It is a different way in looking at it. My husband and I brought them here, we wanted them therefore it is our job as parents to seek God for wisdom in raising them in all seasons of their lives and asking for patience in helping them become who God created them to be. I know that raising children is tough, from what I know toddlers and what I have heard teenagers can be extremly challenging, but whatever season they are in, let's just be thankful. Remember this-many families can not have their own children. There are women who will never know what it feels like to birth their own baby or carry one in their womb. Another example I can think of is if you have a go-go-go toddler like mine that runs wild and you can't keep up just whisper to yourself, "I am thankful that he/she is healthy and able to run, jump and play."

So you see, there are many things to be thankful for when we dig. Make your list, check it twice, argue with it if you have to it's ok- as long as in the end thankfulness and gratitue ends on top, you've won the battle.

#Jesushelpustobethankfultodayandforever.

With love and prayer,
Esther

Except for her...

This is just eating at me. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to shake this imagine out of my mind.
She sat there alone, her long hair drapped over her shoulders, she stared straight forward leaned slightly to the side resting her cheek in her right palm. I noticed her from a distance. She didn't speak, she didn't move, she didn't even blink.

Earlier, her Mother had been interacting with all her children, well actually except with her. And there were some laughs coming from the group, well, not really from her. Her Mother began to head gather her things to head out the door and with a faint I love you, she leaned in and kissed them all on the forehead, well really except for her. Saddened she walked away and sat and I, I stood frozen still then turned away.

Truly this image is almost impossible to forget. It lingers in my mind. I feel like I am continously tossing it out over and over because it makes me sad for her, but it just creeps right back on in. I give. I said, "God, what do you want me to do with this?"

It has challenged me to love, in a new way. It has made me want to love, the way Jesus said for me to love. I was reading in Mark one day when I felt like God began to answer my question-my eyes landed on verses 28 & 29.
Jesus was teaching His disciples and they asked Him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” Jesus said is “ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.”


I looked up more scriptures about love and found a few more.
John 13:34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

John 13:35 "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

John 15:12 "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

John 15:17 "These things I command you, that you love one another.

1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

Ephesians 4:2 "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."  

What does love have to do with any of this story? Well, this is what I have come to a conclusion about. I'll start from the top. When you think about how Jesus answered the question, "what is the greatest commadment?" He said to first love God, with everything we had, then He added (on His own) that we must love our neighbors as ourself. Jesus went on to say there are no greater commandments then those two. That is pretty serious stuff,  to love God first, then everyone else second. In John He said that He will know whether we are His disciples or not based on if we love one another. It wasn't suggestive, He is commanding us to love one another. In 1 Peter we are told that love covers a multitude of sins (so that helps to forgive quicker) and in Ephesians we are advised to bear one another in love, in other words “to endure,” or “to put up with,” one another in love. I got to thinking about all this and the emphasis on love? Why is love important enough to be mentioned 551 times through out the bible? Then I saw the girl and her story play out in my mind all over again. Hypotheically, what I saw could be an example of a soon-to- be (if not already is) a hurt and lonely teenager who perhaps builds up resentment who closes out those around her, has a distorted view of what love is, puts up walls and bottles up her feelings? Perhaps she asks herself at the end of the day whether she has a purpose or reason to live? When you take a step back and you try to understand or analyze why people grow up to be who they are, choose to do terrible things, aren't easily forgiving, don't have a pleasant demeanor, and are rough around the edges it is so easy to judge them, but really we have no idea where that person has been, what they have experienced, what they have endured in their life or been through. I'm not making excuses for people who commit crimes, do evil, or are unfair I'm really not. I know we all have a choice to do right from wrong, but what I am saying is I didn't realize before just how many wounded people we live around that it just doesn't come easy to make good choices or do the right thing. This is all my opinion, and I could very well be wrong, but regardless it's has helped me to see grace and love so differently now which makes this thought process all worth while.

 In my measly simple little mind I think I am understanding what Jesus was really saying when He asked us to love another. When He asked us to bear one another with love. When I look at the news I see tradgedies that have happened and they completely rip my heart out, but before I let my heart judge them and grow angry I've had to make myself do something that isn't easy and ask myself, what if love was absent in their life, or absent in the most crucial moments of their life like childhood? And what if this is an effect of it all? Perhaps that person grew up without knowing Jesus, hard for them to believe in Jesus or love for that matter. What if they grew up without a father/mother, or if they did have parents what if they hurt them physically, emotionally, mentally, just like their folks did with them so they continue the cycle? What if they grew up neglected, bullied, teased or alone-how could I expect them to be a loving soul and want to do good when they have no love or goodness in them to give out?  Maybe this doesn't apply to all cases, but what if it did? All while, we grow angry with them, don't care to hear them, don't want to help them, condemn them, hate them. What if maybe, just maybe that is why God felt it was so important to repeatedly ask us to love others, to forgive, to extend grace, and to ABOVE ALL (no matter what they've done) love each other deeply (not a little bit, but DEEPLY) because love can cover a multitude of sins? (mistakes) Maybe the answer was/is so then no one would ever have to miss out on being loved, because if they did miss it somewhere, somehow in their life, but yet we encounter them and live out His commandment to pour love into their lives maybe, they could give love out and that cycle would continue. Even if I am wrong, isn't it a nice thought to explore? They say love makes the world go round, well I believe that statement has a whole new meaning to me now.

I want to love all the..."except for her, him, them"

-Esther

The Women of 2012 I hope this makes you smile.

Over this Christmas school break, I have picked up the book "Bringing up Girls" by Dr. Dobson again. (I definitely recommend this book by the way. he also, has Bringing up Boys which is just as insightful. He holds great wisdom coming from a Father's perspective and solid Biblical advice.)
I have read this book before, but going back through it this time I noticed something a little more than the first round-the birth of female insecruities. This is one of the things that Dr. Dobson talks about in the first few chapters- the insecurities that form from pre school and unfortunately linger into adulthood. It really opened my eyes to see where a lot of insecruities could be developed in Adalie if Stephen and I am not proactive with her.

I put the book down to get a glass of water when I heard my phone go off. It was a couple of text messages from a dear friend of mine Theresa. She wrote me a text saying she heard a song and thought of me then thanked me for "being a beautiful example of God's love to her." I smiled and nearly cried because little did she know, along with the content of what I was already reading I have had moments like everyone does when you do ask yourself, "Am I even making a difference?" My friend went on to say, "you need to know every now and then what an impact you make on people through God!" And that is what landed  me here typing away on this laptop.

The truth is Theresa is right, so often we think good thoughts about others ,and we should tell them. She has inspired me to think back on this year that is quickly coming to a close and I've decided to join Theresa's heart today and send a short message to The Women of 2012 that have impacted my year and made me smile.

Since you are the inspiration to this Theresa, I will begin with you. To me, you have always been a role model even though we are close in age, I do look up to you. You are so compassionate and loving I wished I knew more people like you. Connor is so blessed to have you as a Momma and Adam is so as well to have such a beautiful lady serving him for the rest of his life. I love you.

Sissy-I love your heart. You are always thinking of your family and in this past year you've showed me what setting priorities looks like. I know you are sacrificing a lot and just know it will pay off! You are amazing and I admire your strength to do everything you do. I love you.

Sister-When I think back on this past year I think of all the laughs you have given me and how much I've needed them. I think about how you can come into a situation and make light of something so gracefully. I appreciate that because it isn't something I can do as easily! You've also impacted me to be more of a giver. You would rather has less than more just so you could give to those you love. I notice that. I love you.

Jacqualin-What can I say about you that you don't already know? You truly have a huge heart and are one of the most dedicated friends to me I have. There is rarely a time that I do not speak to you that I feel better. Thank you for impacting my life not just this year, but since Jr. High! You are a definition of a true friend and I love you to pieces.

Marcie-You are the strongest woman I know next to my Momma. You have blown me this past year in everything you have gone through you still hold your head high! You are a true warrior & have inspired me to also tie a knot at the end of the rope  and hang on tighter when I feel like I'm slipping! I love you so much.

Liz-Thank you, thank you, thank you, for being there for me even when I  am not always quick to be there for you. Not just in this past year, but every year you've been my friend you've always given me your best and you motivate me to be a better friend! You never judge me, you've never given up on me, &I notice when you put my situations before your own sometimes. It may seem in small ways, but it is huge to me. You are that 3 am friend I can count on if needed! It does not go unnoticed and I love you so much for it.

April-I thank you for showing me what grace looks like. You have encouraged me to share my own testimony even when it doesn't always paint the perfect picture.Thank you for being there to answer  questions and being a guide to me when I have needed it to light my way. You and Pastor Jori are a blessing to my family and I appreciate it more than you realize when you take the time to guide me and be my friend. I love you.

Kaylie-You are one of the most sincere and genuine friends I have. You know what it means to put others before youself and that has impacted me greatly. I never feel like I have to walk on egg shells with you, but I can just be me. That is so nice to have, because you're so understanding! You are a breath of fresh air.

Denise, Delana, Cecilia, Heather, Micah, Eloise, Becky, Priscilla, Kelly Ray, Janice and Kaci-I have to mention you guys because you equally have done your part in making me a better person. All of you have been there for me in smallest ways like prayers and in bigger ways like coming with me on a trip 5 hours away, or watching my kiddo when I didn't have someone I could count on. You have all been there in your own way and nonetheless have left your print on my heart this past year. Thank you for all the lunch dates, encouraging words, prayers and love you have towards me. I know that I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't have the sweet friends and family I have around me. I truly love you all and forgive me for not always showing it!

Ashley Morgan-I do not even know where to begin. I will try my best to articulate what you've done for me these past few months. I could say with all honesty that you probably are the woman of the year in my eyes. As I watched your story unfold on FB my heart just broke into a thousand pieces because you were searching for your husband and so many people were panicing, but your heart was seemingly steady. Then the news got out that he was found, but had not survived while everyone was crumbling along your side, you didn't. You are amazing Ashley. When I put myself in your shoes I think of how weak I am and how much more of God I need. I would not be able to hold myself together the way you are. You are so strong and what makes you even more beautiful is you credit your peace and strength to God. THAT, is a testimony for everyone-"though you are broken on the inside there is a glue that is keeping you together and that is Jesus Christ. It is so very evident in you. I look at Stephen and think my goodness, my life would feel completely over without him, but you have shown me Ashley that when you have God in your life, you have everything you need. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making such an impact in my life and in the lives of many others. You should write a book! You are still in my heart, thoughts and prayers! Kipton is so blessed to have you as His  Momma, I have no doubt he will grow up to be a wonderful man of God and tough as nails, just like his Momma. Love you!

Just like Theresa wanted me to know I also wanted you to know what an impact you've made and are making to those around you. Keep on shining and I hope this made you smile!

Blessings,
Esther

Christmas Cheer Throughout the Year!

I LOVE Christmas. I see a lot of excitment as I look around every where I go because Christmas day is drawing near.  If anyone ever asked me when I was a little lady," What is your favorite holiday?" the answer stood the same-Christmas! I have always loved this time of the year because it is a time the world recognizes the birth of Jesus, and some people step out of their comfort zone to learn about this Jesus that was born in a manger. I also love it because it gives believers the opportunity to take a full day to remember our Savior with the little ones around us. Christmas truly is a special time. There are other, less important, things I enjoy that comes with Christmas like: homes being decorated, the smell of cinnamon and spices, Fathers and sons hanging lights around the house, snow covering the land, the smell of wood burning in the fire place, the smiles on children's faces as they play and laugh making snow angels with friends. Plans are being made to travel, families are coming together for the first time in years, and so many other things to name!
Every year I see and read alot during this time of the year about generous acts that people are doing all over the country-things like paying for the person behind them in line, people volunteering at the elderly home or an employee picking up the ticket etc. I've participated in acts myself, but this year honestly I am being challenged.

You see, I'm learning that Christmas is not the only time to celebrate Jesus BUT as a Christian so it should be every chance we get. Christmas is a season where giving takes place, visiting the elderly homes happens more than any other time, blessings are being poured out on the needy and for the rest of the year is seems like people go back to normality and it appears that wallets & sacrifical time is put away. When I asked Jesus, what it is He would want from me this Christmas He very simply said to spread this word and asked that my Christmas cheer, my Christmas giving, my Christmas love and service to others would stretch 365 days a year. Why? Because it matters to Him not just during this season, but always.  Jesus says that the things we do for the least among us would be as if we are doing it for Him. Matthew 25:31-46. So, is it wrong to donate, give your time and money towards an angel tree, bless people with money, and volunteer at Soup Kitchens? Absolutely not, people do feel the lack of what they have the hardest during this time; however, my point is that it shouldn't be that once a year good things come to those less fortunate. I wish we could open our eyes to see that for many we experience that Christmas cheer everyday, but others are still in need. I wish I could open fox news on my browser and see all these good deeds year round, but the truth of the matter is that we all fall short. Today, I simply want to spread this message that this Christmas cheer would follow ALL through out the year.

Blessings!

Let him love you, flaws and all.

Last night I had a conversation with a friend that lingered in my mind until I got to school and before the tardy bell rang I decided that I needed to make a promise to myself. I promised that once a year I will blog/share with someone about marriage. I am not sure exactly what that looks right now, or how each year I will go about it, but I know one thing; after promising that to myself I felt better. Today, I choose to make this the start of my promise. I am not a self proclaimed marriage counselor nor do I have the keys to a perfect marriage, but what I do hold are practical suggestions that have worked for me and maybe they can for you as well.

It is no secret, men and women-we are so different. Wired nothing like one another, day and night sort of deal, but the best part of marriage for me, is learning to embrace those differences and learning to appreciate that those differences are exactly what we need to have a balanced home. Stephen, my husband, likes to hunt, fish, watch UFC, watch bloody action movies, shops in less than 1 hour, he can watch football all day any day, and is just all boy. Me, on the other hand, I am sensitive, girly, I like to shop all day, do not really like getting dirty, I would rather watch lifetime than UFC type of gal. You get the picture, just different. I have learned that one thing that has really worked for us is instead of complaining about their likes and dislikes-doing the things the other person likes to do (even though deep down you're cringing about having to do it!) is way better! And, bonus it makes them want to do what you would like to do next time that much more, because they saw you cared about what they cared about. Win, win situation! So an example would be one weekend we watch that bloody action movie, the next I pick and we go out to a nice dinner and watch a romantic movie, deal? Deal! Smooth sailing from there, right? Well...sort of.
Men like to be respected. We can do all the things they would love for us to do with them, but if we do not resepct them, nothing we do really matters. What I have learned is that men forgive easier, but they remember every word that made them feel less of a man or less of a person. Words matter. Plain and simple. Typically men say they do not need words of affirmation, well let me tell ya something-their lying! Men, absolutely need to be told they are wonderful, that they are handsome, that they are strong, that they are smart, that they are hard workers, that they are good Daddy's, that they are valued, and that we need them and they are irreplacable even if Channing Tatum asked us to run away with him, we'd STILL pick them! Ha, some of you are like..well...ya know I don't know about that one...ha! Teasing, but my point is they do need to be told the exact same things that we desire of our men to tell us. One night, Stephen and I were talking about he said, "Babe, I know you think that I don't need you because you've said that before, but I do. I need you Est." I remember how foolish I felt for ever thinking otherwise and believing that just because he was a man that did not mean that he did not have emotions or a heart. So, yes, men need to be reaffirmed and be told the things we said when we dated them. Remember the lovey dovey cheesy things you would say when you dated? I do, and that brings me to my next point. Dating.
Date your spouse. I think one of the hardest things for Stephen and I was finding the time to date, between having children, school, church and work, but once we started dating each other, wow what a huge difference it made in our relationship. I remember thinking, "I live with him, how did I not realize this much about him?" The truth is we are both changing constantly and if we never spend that one on one time with each other life can be become a routine and you quit learning about them. I never want to come to a place where I do not know my husband. I know you do not either, so date him. Call up your Momma, or a trust worthy friend/relative and plan an awesome night out. Whatever you both would like, it doesn't have to be anything fancy or expensive a simple walk around the park holding hands and going for ice cream is just as fun! The point is to get away alone together and unplug from everyday life to just love, listen to, and learn about the person God gave you to go through life with you. That's a big deal. Cherish, protect and love them. Which leads me to my final point. Cherish, Protect and Love your husband.
Cherish, Protect and Love are verbs. They are all choices.You make a commitment (a choice) to marry them. I was reading an article once in a marriage book and it said something to the affect of 9 times out of 10 women could have chosen to marry anyone they would have liked, but they chose the one they married. The man simply asked us a question, and we said YES! Sooo why complain? I think I laughed really hard because I was like oh my goodness how right is this author! I made the choice to have a husband and I chose Stephen and everything that came with Stephen. I understand that people change, sometimes we do not even see it coming, but love is powerful, love covers mistakes, be quick to forgive, protect their dignity, do not bring up the past, (we all have skeletons in our closet too) respect them for who they are while challenging them gentley to discover who God has called them to be if they aren't living in that light and you'd like for them to (be the example if need be), and never take them for granted. You know the saying you do not know what you have until it is gone? I say, forget that! KNOW what you have and know how much you'll miss it when it is gone. When you argue, love them anyways, by the way everyone argues-you are not abnormal-we all think we are right. And sometimes ladies, we are! But men do not like to be wrong and so setting all pride aside know that we do not always have to prove how right we are. I know sometimes it feels like we should, but leaving the issue alone works even better ;) Please do not de-friend me for saying this ha, but in those times we are wrong ladies, as hard as it can be try saying  "hey ok, I am wrong, you're right honey." I promise it makes a huge difference and truly melts their heart. You hug and kiss and move forward. I am not naive to think all marriages work so easily that way, but if nothing has worked before could be worth giving it a shot? If all else fails be quick to forgive, let love and respect rule your heart remembering that God gave you this person to love, protect and cherish. Be thankful in prayer for that man.Prayer-it binds what's been broken, it mends what's been torn, it heals, patches and restores. There is nothing God can not repair. If your marriage is at the brink of losing all hope, know that there is a different kind of hope in Jesus who can do more than we could ever imagine in our lives, in our children's lives and in our marriage! Pray for your spouse daily, have fun with them, enjoy them, love them, and ladies just like you knew the reason as to why you said yes, they also have a reason why they asked in the first place-let's put aside all insecurities and let him love you, flaws and all.
In Him,
Esther

Really?? Yes....really.

I am certain that I have sat down to write in my blog approximately 148 times over the past couple of months. This past Wednesday during Grace Group (Wednesday night bible study gathering) I was talking to a couple of church friends and I mentioned how I have been completely neglectful of a tool the Lord has given me to use to spread His love, His Word and testimony. I left Wednesday evening feeling motivated, uplifted and inspired again so, here I am.

By the way I know that blogs, in some cases, have been used as an outlet to express controversial thoughts without confrontation, used for self recognition, and/ or approval, but my deepest desire is that you would find this blog to be everything contrary of that and that these words would not be read as MY words, but those of Christ who speaks with humility, substance, love and grace.

Each day that Lord allows me to face, I wake up with the intention of striving for honesty and well, today I’d like to be really honest with you about what has been on my mind and in my heart. In the past few days -2 weeks or so I’ve discovered some rather tragic news and have been involved in what could have been tragic news as well so a part of me has felt a little overwhelmed (and naturally so I suppose.) Questions began to surface, so many thoughts began to be entertained, and if not careful, fear/ disappointment begins to creep into our heart when we open ourselves up to allowing our mind to wonder all the whys” & “what ifs”.

In really thinking about the news I’ve heard in these last couple weeks and what I experienced recently it actually brought up some really regretful thoughts then more desirable thoughts like what really matters in life. Death is a natural thing, and though it cuts us the deepest when we hear about it, we refuse to think about it, it really is something we will all go through with our loved ones and we really will face ourselves.

I am not too much of a dweller, but I did sit alone quietly on Saturday for some time and my mind went back in time remembering people that have entered my life for a season, then slipped into eternity and I found myself sitting there questioning, “During that time you had a part in their life what good did you really pour into their life? Or bad? Or…. none at all? Esther! Did you really share Jesus with them?” Panic set in ( that last question in particular really haunted me so let me address that first).

Romans 10:14-15 says “How, then, can they (people) call on the One they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the One of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

You see, it really is our job as Christians to spread the good news about Jesus even in this controversial, “non wanting to hear it” and “just wanting acceptance” world, we must be bold and share the truth. I can desire all I want that no one would suffer and that all would be in God’s glory to see our Savior face to face, but if I do not open my mouth or move my feet then do I live in vain? Ouch, that really hurt. I now more than ever have a burning desire to remind us that tomorrow is not a promise for any soul on this earth and that we all really need Jesus, so badly.

Another thought I had was, “In that time of knowing them how did I treat them? You see, people really matter. Sometimes in our hectic and frantic lives we forget that and we dig ourselves deeper into our world forgetting that friend or loved one that at one point poured good into your life and helped when no else would. Then they are gone, and well you find yourself on the edge of bed thinking did I really show them while I could that I loved them even if it was just one phone call a month? Did they really know I loved and appreciated them? It really does matter that we show our love, God’s love, to those around us because people really are hurting in this world. We always think it is so cliché to say, but a friendly smile, yea-you’d be surprised how it can positively affect someone’s day. (And if I can just say really quick that being upset about petty little issues is meaningless and if we’d really humble ourselves to see that just as they made a mistake, we make mistakes too, but our flesh clings to being hung up on an offense rather than covering their mistakes with love like we should. (“Love covers all wrongs...” Proverbs 10:12) It matters that we are there to help one another in time of need. I even thought, “My God forgive me if ever, I could have been an act of an answered prayer for someone and selfishly did not follow through.” What that means is, sometimes what people are praying for, God has already revealed to us or given us the wisdom to share that knowledge, hope or encouragement that someone needs to hear, but we get so caught up in our lives that we forget such a significant purpose we have here on earth- to be an extended arm of God.

I pray that we would all really begin to remember from this day forward that people matter.
Wrapping up with my final thought on Saturday left me with a smile and it was “There are so many things you think matter, but they really don’t so when you find yourself at the end of your life Esther, what would you really like for your children to know what really matters in life?” I found the answer to be clear and this was it: “I want Adalie and Maddox to know that trophies, awards, acceptance, money, fame, wealth, popularity and high self esteem really do not matter in this life, but what I want them to know that does REALLY matter is to truly love people with no regard to skin color, to be sympathetic towards people, to give cheerfully with no intention of wanting a return, to desire a close relationship with God each day, to be a positive influence to all those around you sometimes you are the only Bible people read, to be bold and stick to their word, to have courage to take stand for Jesus in Jr. High and High School when it seems uncool to do that, to have manners and discipline, to smile at others often, to be humble and place others before you, to give people the benefit of doubt, to give to the needy regardless if you think they are going to use it for the wrong reason it isn’t your job to judge that, but it is your job to give, to remember when times get tough God is always near and is our hope is in Him, to not care what others think, to stay in tune with God’s voice, to remember to help the little old woman with groceries, to pray for others more than for yourself, to not get so caught up in their lives they forget those they love, to never place money as a god, and to always stay within God’s will.

Yea….I get it. This is what REALLY matters. Thank you God for a new perspective.

Chapter 1

The 2011-2012 school year is wrapping up and as I reflect back I can say as a first year teacher it was definitely not what I expected. It was more.
I can still remember the fast pace beating of my heart on August 22nd, 2011 as the first bell of the school year rang. It was 1st period and the student's began to trickle into my classroom. It was an unexplainable experience each class period to listen to each child introduce themselves to me as if they were saying, "Hi, my name is _____ and please remember God has placed you in my life not just to teach me the 7th grade Reading curriculum, but meaningful life lessons." And at the end of my day I remember thinking just that and also that these are 112 souls that God has placed in my care; what an honor and huge respondsibility.
I have seen first hand the hurt in a child's eye from the lack of attention at home, the struggles of trying to fit in, all the embarrassments and fears of an adolescent and I'll tell you the hardest thing about my job isn't redirecting the students, it isn't discipline, or grading and paperwork-it is not being able to save them all. With that being said, I consider this first year a success. Not because of the passing state test scores, but because I am walking away with a greater sense of compassion. I am walking away with more patience. I am walking away with more knowledge-these student's taught me just as much as I taught them. I am walking away with an eagerness to do more. And I am walking away with a smile because that student who never spoke to me for the whole first half of the year finally felt comfortable to open up and share her life with me. That student who always said,"I can't do that Mrs, I've never been able to- finally did "it". That student who felt ashamed of who they were blossomed and accepted their looks now carries a confident smile. That student who never really cared, now cares. That student who liked to bully, stands up for the ones being picked on. That student who never thought they'd pass the 7th grade, passed with flying colors.
It isn't the end of school in my book, it is simply chapter 1.

Love,
Mrs. Vanover

Maddox, you're a dream come true

You're A Dream Come True.

Well I must say that dreams certainly do come true,


It was February 8th and you came wrapped in baby blue.


Son, I always knew that I wanted a baby boy, perfect and healthy just like you.


I’ll never forget that first day we met.


No words can describe what I was feeling inside,


And at that moment my mind was set,


I would love you forever, on that you can bet.


From the moment I saw you until my very last breath,


I’ll always do my best and teach you,


God’s word and path that saves us from death.


One day you’ll become a man and resemble your Daddy,


You’ll make us so proud, along with Addie.


The day will come when a special woman says, “Maddox, I do,”


And I promise the same thoughts I have of you-she will too.


Happy 1st Birthday

I love you,

Momma Bear

To Be More Than Rubies

 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10


Since our church has been doing a marriage series, I've been heavily convicted about sharing the little things I have found that truly work to create a happy home and marriage. Marriages are falling apart daily as we all know and it honestly hurts to hear about it. I don’t claim to be a professional at this or perfect. Stephen nor I probably will never master it; however, with dedication, effort, commitment and the things God has given us through scripture for tools to enhance marriage; I believe we all can enjoy it much more and defeat the enemy's evil of destroying families and couples.
When God instructs us to “love” our husband in Titus 2:4 the word in Greek is translated to phileo which means “friendship love”. A love that cherishes, enjoys, and likes our husband. We are to value him and build a friendship with him. We should see our husband as our best friend and the person we want to be with more than any other person (outside our children).
One thing to think about is our rank ordering. Who receives most of our time? Is it friends? Co-workers? Job? Internet? Cell phone? Etc.

Each morning ask yourself, “What is something I can do today that would help him, make him feel special or even lighten his load?” I have found that the more effort you put into taking care of him it in return makes him want to do even more for you.

Plan get-aways for just the two of you, even if it is just a dinner locally, ask your best friend, sister, cousin, mother in law, Momma or someone you trust to watch the kiddos for a little bit. Share with them your idea of wanting to make more time for just you and your husband and I promise they’ll support it and be more than happy too! Stephen and I  always feel refreshed and have a renewed commitment to each other after some time to just hang out with one another. When you get away alone you have no other responsibilities- you can just focus on your husband, and get to learn more about them without having to change a diaper ;) One of the best quotes I have ever heard on marriage was "Never quit learning about your spouse."

Plan to go to bed at the same time as your husband. I know that sounds cheesy, but trust me it works. When you put the kids in bed and crawl in bed with your husband without turning on the TV, or getting on the laptop it sends a message to him that he's important. Are you a cuddler like me? Perfect time to
curl up and pillow talk. If you never have time to physically nurture your relationship then hint hint. Take them to bed with you. It has been hilarious to see from the time I started  applying this into our marriage a couple years ago how seriously he has taken it too. One night I asked to stay awake to do things around the house and it was an absolute no. He could not fall asleep without me so he sat and waited on the couch. lol
Take a few minutes before your husband comes home to quickly pick up. Have the kids help put toys away etc. The goal is not perfection, but instead an impression of order and neatness. Have dinner plans made in advance so he has something to eat after a long day of work/school. Greet him at the door, find ways to always make him feel like he’s that important and by doing so it sends him a message saying “I am so glad you are home.”

Mind your mouth. Everything you speak to your husband stays in their mind forever. Lift them up and even when you are aggravated words matter, popping off never does anything but sow a negative seed. If all they hear is "you're lacking here or you're not doing this or that", it truly affects the way they feel as a man. It is never wrong to share your feelings or concerns with them, you are a team, but try your hardest to do it in a respectful way;) Respect, love and cherishing one another should rule both husband and wives heart.

Pray, pray, pray continually for your husband. They have a heavy load on their shoulders by simply being the head of the house. If they aren't the husband you dreamt of, or maybe circumstances has caused some sort of divison it's never too late- prayer is always the answer. Pray for guidance, patience, and good choice words.

Lastly, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
Be confident. We are designed to be wives of noble character and that is worth far more than Rubies ;)

P.S. I hope this has helped someone, today.

With love and prayer,
Esther

The day Joy came to stay.

Joy. Such a small word; yet, so wanted.

Tonight, my family and I decided to put up our Christmas tree and as I was finishing hanging the ornaments I realized that there was one that was left at the bottom of the box. I reached and pulled it out and as I hung it on the tree I noticed what it said. JOY. I smiled as it fit perfectly along with the rest of the ornaments, I took a step back and simultaneously felt that joy in my heart as I looked around the room.

I stepped into the kitchen and began to pick up what had been left out from dinner and out of no where a very real and vivid image came to my mind. A couple weeks ago, there I was standing in the pew behind  a sweet, little brown headed small framed girl about 8 years old. I stood completely frozen just admiring her worship. I just could not get my eyes away from her except when I turned to my husband and asked him to look her way. Now, I know I shouldn't have been distracted, but I was so intrigued in this child's outter expression of the joy she held inside. It was simply, beautiful. With every word that was displayed on the screen for the congergation to sing along, she would so gracefully use her arms and body to create an expression of every word...
So there I was dazzed, standing with the refrigerator door opened asking the Lord to speak to my heart the purpose of that image...a few moments later and half the kitchen cleaned He said that every adult could have that same kind of joy, not just on Sunday through Tuesday, BUT always. The beauty of small children is that they have no worry in the world other than what new barbie or video game they want next, but as adults there are so many things in our daily lives that affect, hinder, and potentially kill the joy we hold within. That should not be so. But-hectic schedules, too many tasks, overwhelming amounts of work, and all the needs of our family that fall on our shoulders=where's the joy, always? Yes, I totally know stretching thin, right? We can all breathe.

1 Peter 1:8-9 says that "Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy..."
Now, I remember the exact day this happened, truly. 19 years old October 19th, there I stood in freezing cold water up to my waist proclaiming "Jesus, with my whole heart and everything I am I LOVE YOU. Forgive me. I have not seen You, but I can feel you, living inside me I believe in you and I'm busting at the seams with this God given joy that's unexplainable!
Or so I thought...

"I will be filled with joy because of you... Psalm 9:2
"But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me." Psalm 13:5
"You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence." Acts 2:28

So what's my point? Jesus IS joy and He lives IN us; therefore, He or joy will never leaves us and I guess He was reminding me of that joy I felt the day I gave my life to Him and how I can always have that.You remember that day you opened your heart to the Lord? Just thinking about it, I bet you can't help but to feel that overwhelming joy in your heart to remember and KNOW a savior lives within you...
You see, it really is just the simple...when life gets hectic and joy seems so far, all we need to do is remember the day
Joy
came
to
stay.




"I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!" John 15:11

Dancing in the rain.

It's been a while where I could just sit and jot down thoughts, feelings, maybe's and what if's. So today during my quiet time (conference) I've decided to. I've been thinking about seasons a lot here lately. Mainly because of the weather change and the atmosphere. I see a lot of fall colors in stores, I look around and see homes decorated in this current season and well it's all causing me to think about spiritual and personal seasons.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" and recently I'm discovering I'm in a season--the season of spring. And on top of that I am spring cleaning. Cleaning my mind, renewing my heart, and making changes. I'm figuring out the older I get things come and go, and really life is just like seasons. They come and go. Something I am learning is when you hit Spring remember on your rainy days to welcome the storm, for we all know that later it brings growth, and you'll blossom. Thank you God for never allowing us to be stagnet, but at all times you bring seasons. Help us all to learn to welcome the seasons that sometimes bring drought and rain. I say, bring on the rain, wash away all you desire, I'll be dancing in the rain thanking you in advance for the growth.

-Your daughter,
Est

The Marriage Story Esther's Version ;)

Once upon a time in May of 1985 God began creating Stephen Daniel Vanover. As Stephen grew into his 20's the Lord saw there was no suitable helper for him and so He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. Gensis 2:18

When God saw Esther, He knew Stephen would make her so happy and that she would make Stephen so happy as well so in  the summer of 2006 the Lord guided their footsteps and He..."brought her to the man.” Genesis 2:22.
Esther was so overjoyed to meet Stephen she had been praying just for him! She knew immediately in her heart he was the one God had promised her.


The Lord joined them and said, "you two are who I wish to join together to enjoy your lives with one another, to receive blessing together, to create Godly children together and to be a blessing to one another...you can have all the blessings I wish to pour out on you two, but I have a few rules you must agree too.
  #1. Love me your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind-Luke 10:27
#2. Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

#3. Remember that love suffers long, and is kind; love does not envy; love does not promote itself, is not puffed up, does not behave badly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love NEVER fails. 1Corinthians 13:4-8

#4. Stephen, love your wife, as much as I love the church. Ephesians 5:25

#5. Esther, submit yourself unto Stephen, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:22

#6. Train your childen in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

And for my perfect # 7--What I your God has joined together, do NOT let man separate. Mark 10:9


"Deal?"
Deal, that sounds wonderful! And so Stephen and Esther were married on October 5th, 2006 and the Lord showered blessing on them from that day on.



"Oh, and Esther a couple of tiny details I forgot to mention before I head to another wedding" said the Lord.
"You will be recieving a lot of flowers, chocolate, attention, formal dining and love from Stephen this ONE day, but you will work for it all year picking up dirty laundry off the bathroom floor, making breakfast lunch and dinner 7 out of 7 days a week, ironing his clothes, making coffee before he wakes up, not having a say so in what to watch during football season and last but not least ever being right."

HAHA!
Hope it made you smile, because is that not the truth ladies! :)

Happy Anniversary baby, I love you!!

Who is He weeping for?

You know I've really been thinking that Jesus has feelings similar to ours. Though He is Lord and all powerful, is it crazy to think that He still cries for us?

A couple Sundays back, church dismissed so my husband and I headed to the kids church to pick up our two babies. The way it works to leave them in kids church while we are in the sanctuary is you sign in your child on an assigned grade & colored sheet, they place that same colored sticker with their name on it on their back. Anyhow, I had signed in "Addie Vanover" but on her sticker she wore I had written, Adalie.
It was my turn in line eso I approached the desk and said, "Hi, I'm here to pick up Maddox and Addie" I almost immediately saw my little chunky baby, Maddox, but no Addie. We waited for a minute, then the lady at the front desk looked behind her and said "Addie" to a helper keeping the children. She smiled at us, but looked a little confused so I opened the door to the front without permission and went to find my daughter in the class I knew she belonged. I opened the door and saw sweet faces, but not of my Addie. My heart started pounding, my hands started sweating as I started walking backwards in panic thinking I know that's where she goes. I turned and asked asked the front desk, "Addie, where's Addie?!" Tears were building quickly at this point. She looked at me in complete distress, then called the helper that had her in class. "Addie, where is Addie?" "She's already been picked up, she left completely happy with the couple who got her" a voice said. "WHAT?" I could not believe what I was hearing. Visions flooded into my mind of my child being in a random vehicle, taken.
I remember I could hear Stephen very faintly in the background telling me to calm down and that we'd find her BUT where is she is all I could think of, she's lost, where is my Addie. Gigantic tears blurred my eyes, but I saw people rushing around asking "Addie, where is Addie she in this class" Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a curly haired little girl say "Momma." I ran immediately to her it was Addie. I picked her, she through her legs around my waist and I held her head close to my neck. I was trembling like I've never experienced. It was the most horrid, awful feeling and I never put her down or quit crying for what seemed like eternity.
Come to find out she had been switched to another classroom after I had left and the classroom I thought she was in there was another little girl named "Addie". My Addie had "Adalie" on her sticker so it was all just a mix up.
We walked out to the truck, I calmed down, buckled her in and just sat silently in the passenger side. I internally gave thanks to God that Adalie was safe and in our vehicle and not in someone elses. As we drove down the highway some sort of scene played in my mind. This picture or thought rather, was of Jesus. I saw Jesus standing in a room looking around with such a sad look on His face. A look of despair, a look of disappointment much like how I looked I'm sure and I wondered.... is that how you feel Jesus when one of your children get sucked back into this world and leave you? Maybe just maybe Jesus wanted to share with me just a little of what it feels like to lose a child? I teared up again and not because of Adalie, but because it hurt me to think of all the times I've gotten lazy or lost sight of the mission He's called us to.
Now, I understand God is omnipresent, He is everywhere and is supernatural. I am human and am limited to where I can be so of course Jesus knows where His children are physically, but what I am meaning is that I connected with Him on the feelings He must feel. This was the only time I had ever experienced anything like losing Adalie, so when I think of Jesus and how He must feel everyday, it really humbles me and makes me want to seek the lost even more. I know if Maddox was older and had an understanding of what was going on, he would have started helping me look to find Addie. He wouldn't have just stood there, so it all made sense to me, and reminded me that I (we) should not forget to seek out our brothers and sisters.


I mentioned that I thought Jesus had feelings, well biblically I am reminded of "we are created in His image" (Genesis 1:27) and in John 11:35 it states that "Jesus wept" over the death of Lazarus and so what's my point? Well, my point is what would it look like if everyday we woke up with a new perspective of His feelings? What if we woke up eager to find our brothers, sisters and all those who He is weeping for...

In Him,
Est

The Matatu Flipped.

After eating supper I sat on the couch to relax for the evening, but my husband couldn't wait to get me to read what he read earlier in the day. Well after reading it, I understood why. This is called The Matatu Flipped By Palmer Chinchen

“I don’t want to miss my flight.”

If I’m honest, that was my very first thought when I watched the matatu (Kenyan passenger minivan) crammed with seventeen or eighteen people get hit, flip, and roll onto its roof, which collapsed.

Sociologists call it the phenomenon of noninvolvement. Researchers have found that bystanders often have this odd tendency not to respond to someone in dire need. Sometimes it’s out of fear, sometimes it’s simply stage fright—the worst is when people do nothing because they think it’s somebody else’s problem.
We can spend a lifetime living that way. “What you do matters.”

When I saw the matatu flip, that was my second thought: Palmer, you keep telling people that what they do matters! Too often we think what we do or how we live doesn’t matter. We think it doesn’t matter when we spend $348 on True Religion designer jeans. We think it doesn’t matter when a church in Dallas is spending 115 million dollars on their new building.
It matters…
because the way you live every day is a picture of your soul.

So I urgently yelled to my Nairobi taxi driver, “Stop!” He jumped out with me and ran to the crumpled van and began easing people over the shattered glass. Within just a few minutes everyone was out, and miraculously no one appeared seriously injured.Just when I started to think, “Bravo, Palmer—see, good thing you stopped,” my driver shouted, “They’re killing the other driver!” I spun around to see an angry mob stoning and beating the driver who had hit the matatu … to death. “Sometimes you must act in order to stop the very worst things from happening.”

That was the heart of my message in twenty-three cities last fall, when I was the speaker on the Hungry for Love tour with Sanctus Real, Leeland, and The Afters. “You must act!” We keep thinking somebody else will, but Christ left this work of the kingdom to you! There’s two lives to be lived. One is the life you live every day. The life that many times ends up becoming a tired rut sapping you of every last ounce of creative passion. But then there’s the life you dream of living. That’s the second life. For many it’s the life-unlived.
So I write this today to inspire you, to challenge you to abandon your comfortable routine and discover the exhilarating life God has waiting for you.

Back to Kenya: Without thinking, I sprinted toward the mob. They call it mob justice in east Africa. But it’s not just; it’s sick vigilantism. I knew without a doubt they would kill him if I didn’t act.

When the matatu flips, you must act.
After visiting dozens of churches on the Hungry for Love Tour I came home discouraged. Generation-excess has moved into the suburban church. In one large church the pastor proudly stated, “We just spent a million dollars on this sound system!”

I about choked. What in the world are we doing spending a million dollars on a sound system? And why do so many churches need I-Mag (Image Magnification). That’s the awesome technology that projects a really big picture of your preacher on a screen.
Here’s the simple truth we miss: just because we can … doesn’t mean we should. I say all this because the church’s focus must turn out. We’ve focus far too much of our effort and resource inward.

How will we ever rebuild countries like Haiti, or stop the spread of malaria in Africa, or free girls from sex-slavery in Thailand if we keep building kingdoms on street corners in the suburbs – instead of taking the Kingdom of God to the world.
The matatu’s flipped.
One Life Matters

Forcing my way to the middle of the raging mob, I dropped to my hands and knees over the man’s head, thinking, At least they’ll have to hit me first.

“Stop, stop! Please stop!” I yelled.

“Get out of the way—we want to kill him!” the angry young men shouted back.

“No,” I answered loudly but calmly as I looked up. “Nobody’s going to die here today.”
As they slowly dropped their stones and backed away, I helped the beaten man sit up, then carefully pulled him to his feet and brought him to the rear bumper of his van, where we sat until the mob was gone.

What I’m not saying is that Palmer Chinchen is a hero. I’m not. I simply try to live the way I tell others that Jesus told us to live—like your life matters. What you do matters.
So let’s stop being so self-indulgent and stop growing inwardly focused churches, and realize that God can use your life—your church—to change what is messed up out there.

You see, if I wait, if I don’t act—if you wait, if you don’t act—the man on the side of the road dies … literally.

The Witnessing Mile

I don't know if a causal conversation last night triggered my urge to want to read, but I woke up today with a desire to read about Jesus' teachings. There are so many good things He had to say at the Sermon on the Mount, but in all that I caught attention to one small yet powerful verse. “And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two.” (Matt 5:41) A little bit of background: in Jesus' day, the Romans had a practice that they had learned from the Persians and it was to overpower people who had been conquered through war. If a Roman soldier saw a Jewish man or boy, he could command the man or boy to carry his bags or burden for a mile. The Jewish boy or man was required by law to carry this soldier’s bags for a mile; however, most Jews would not carry their belongings one inch or one foot further than the law required. This law caused lots of resentment among the Jews toward the Roman government.

Think about how the Jews must have felt when Jesus said, “Go the second mile." Now, I do believe though Jesus was speaking to an audience in that time where things were set up differently and now we don't have to walk carrying belongings for anyone; (unless we so choose to) but I do believe the entire bible can be applied to our lives somehow or at least learn something from it. With that being said,  I believe Jesus was essentially saying that it is a good thing to do more than what is required of us. Immediately, there were two different stories I pictured in my mind. If you've read my blogs before yuo know I'm a visual person. The first thing I pictured was this Roman solider commanding this young Jewish boy in a stern, loud voice to carry his bags and in response as the boy is walking this mile he's full of anger, upset at the treatment he's recieving and perhaps even questions what has this soldier done for me that I should be kind enough to do this favor? Ever acted that way towards someone?

Anyhow, at the end of the mile I could see this young boy throw down the bags, be completely exhausted and storm off as he's completed the mile that was asked of him.
Now the second thing I thought was what if the Roman soldier commanded the Jewish boy to carry his bags in the same stern unkind way, but the response from the boy was different? What if the Jewish boy responded with a warm greeting then as he walked maybe striked up a non threathening conversation? What if at the end of the first mile, the Jewish boy said, “If you do not mind, I would be honored to carry your bags for a second mile?”
Can you just imagine the look on the soldier’s face if he heard these words?! And what IF the Roman soldier replied with, “There is something different about you. Most Jewish boys become angry when I command them to carry my bags, why are you different from others? The boy then says, "There's a savior of this world and His name is Jesus, He's taught me how to live my life, He's been my example, He's healed me and my family, He's changed my circumstances, He's delievered me and freed me, He's..." and by the time they reach the end of the second mile, this boy has shared his faith with this Roman soldier!

I know, I know lots to imagine, but now just think what if that was US? Walking in that heat, doing something only because it's a law but never acting out of love...how would we really act??
Or rather how do we act? I don't live in a cave to know that this world is not cold and ugly and I'm not afraid to say that yes, sometimes it can be hard to turn the other cheek when someone does us wrong or treats us unkindly...but I truly believe it's not just about showing kindness because that's the first mile...what if perhaps God is asking you, me, us- to do a little more (go the second mile)? Can you just think of how different our world would be if instead of not talking to that cashier at the grocery store just because she/he didn't greet us or were unkind; yet, regardless we striked up a conversation and asked how their day was? Maybe even helped load our own sacks into our buggy? Or what if that same person at your job that you just can't win for losing with, you ask to take to lunch? <--Yes that's a little different, but so is going the second mile! What if... What would it look like if we left that action print of Christ in the lives of others?
We've all heard of the saying "Go the extra mile" I hope we can all say, we now have the best reason to do just that.

With love & prayer,
Est

Swimming against the current

Yesterday wasn't an ordinary Sunday. I was tired. I was grumpy. I was exhausted. I woke up with no expectations. I woke up empty minded and can I be honest? I felt like just going through the motions. You see lately, I've been fighting a pretty big battle. It's not like any of us aren't on the daily, because we are; however, this fight has been different for many reasons....

I was standing in the Church during worship when something very interesting happened. I was singing along to the lyrics on the screen, and as I let the words resignate in my being I closed my eyes, and this is what I saw.

 



I saw myself swimming. But not the usual splashing around in the summer time swimming, really swimming. And it wasn't any fun. I saw myself swimming upstream. I was kicking as hard as I could, the water was splashing all around me because of the impact, my arms were pressing toward parting the water and I saw just how exhausted I truly was. I saw that I was fighting against this current on my own, with my own swimming abilities, and end result... I was losing. All the hard swimming and pressing was just causing me to slowly drown because no believer is strong enough to fight alone, there was one key element missing.

 Jesus.

 You see, this uphill current or tide if you will represented the things I am fighting against daily. The things I want to shove, push and move out of my way that try to drown me and at that moment it's almost like I really felt the the water coming up my throat...I ran to the altar

"Lord, I am nothing without you, not a thing, all I need is YOU. You are my safe place, You are my strength, You are my everything." And just like that I felt a peace overwhelm me. God, is too incredible... I give all glory and honor and Praise to Him because He is so faithful to remind us just how much we are in need of a savior.

As we were walking out of Church heading to the car I had not given anymore thought about anything, my heart and mind was rested..I looked down as I was carrying my son and noticed how he peacefully slept in my arms. I immediately thought wow-this is how I feel; safely placed the arms of my Father, content and peaceful knowing I no longer have to swim (fight against the current) and I knew at that moment that I was where I always needed to be.

In His Arms.

...."For the battle is not yours, but God’s"

2 Chronicles 20:15 

With Love & Prayer,

Est