11/5 a day I'll never forget.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:15

So most of you reading this probably know the story that happened this last thursday November 5th. I'll take you back to the day from my perspective. I was sitting at my desk after returning from lunch and I noticed my phone going off my husband called me from a friends number because he had lost his phone earlier that day and as we were ending our conversation all I heard was a speedy, "Ok baby I got to go I love you bye!" and He hung up? I thought umm ok maybe he has something really important to get too and sure enough after about 30 minutes my sister text me saying "Did you hear about the shootings in Ft. Hood?" My jaw dropped and immediately I searched online for the news. Sure enough it came up that there were at least 2 gunman, 7 dead and 30 wounded. Oh my stars, I began to panic, sobbing and couldn't control my mind. I pictured my husband laying on the ground either wounded or dead. I tried to shake that out of my head, but he had lost his phone earlier that day and so getting a hold of him to confirm he was ok was impossible. I tried dialing out to call my dad (who is my Rock & Christian mentor) but I couldn't because of all the calls I was recieving from worried family and friends. I tried to gather myself, but it was the hardest thing to control. By the time I reached with my dad he had already heard the news from my siblings calling and well, in about 5 minutes calmed my raging waters, I'll never forget his words--"Esther, calm down now", he said "Do you believe in God?", "yes dad you KNOW I do!" At this point I got frustrated because I had no clue where he was going with the conversation.... "OK" he said, "Then do you believe He protects us, do you believe He covers us with his blood and He is with Stephen and this moment?"

I hesitated from holding my breathe trying to not cry.... "Yes dad I do" "And do you believe God has a plan for Stephen to work in ministry?" "Of course I do dad he was called to preach at the age of 2" I said, then Dad replies, "Then quit crying!" (lol it is funny to me now, but at that time I was like uhh rude?)
He said "Do NOT fear Esther, fear does NOT come from our God-- be strong in Jesus name!" Then he led us into a prayer to ask protection over Stephen, our friends and to prevent anymore deaths.

I tell you what it would have been nice to have talked to my dad FIRST! After freaking out on everyone else, he completely calmed me down and made me realize wait a second there is someone greater than any evil monster out there that is in control, whom shall I fear? WHAT shall I fear?

Shortly after that I heard from Stephen, and hearing his voice was the best thing that I heard that day. I love him so much. He said "Baby I'm fine, don't cry, I have a gun in my hand and promise you nothing is going to happen i'll be ok!" Well of course I believed him, but still had to say baby be careful! (it's a girl thing I guess)

If anyone knows my husband knows he is a hard charger, he would have loved to be in the middle of a fire fight because he believes in what he does! He is a warrior and sometimes I have to tell him, baby i'm not a soldier when he gets in his soldier modes lol. Nonetheless, I'm proud to say he's my personal G.I. Joe and all american Hero!

A couple hours went by and they had the gunman, (come to find out a woman cop brought him down! Woo hoo girl power all the way!!)
This trader happened to be a major in the United States Army, what a shame! He turned on his battle buddies because of his religion. I'll keep my opinion to myself on this to not offend anyone, but this man was heartless, a jerk and in my judgment used by demonic powers.

After work that day I headed to my pastors house for comfort and also because I had been locked out of my house. We only had one key at the time and it was on Stephen. Ft. Hood was locked down, no one could get in or out. Around 9 pm that night Stephen called and said his troop got tasked out to guard the crime scene, I was sooo upset. After a day like that then to sleep alone with my daughter! Ugh I couldn't believe it because I had never wanted to hold my husband and kiss him as much as I did that day. BUT I didn't get too. I slept alone and scared, it was awful. Got only 2 hours of sleep. I am very thankful to ALL my family and friends that were there for me, supporting me, sending my positive and encouraging messages, comments, texts etc. If you were one of them and are reading this I'll say it again, Thank you! You were my rock and I could not have gone through those 48 hours without you and my God.

Friday came around, same thing. Post was up and running, but Stephen was still on lockdown guarding the crime scene. (which he later told me had to sleep next to the building where all the fallen soldiers were :( poor thing I felt so horrible for him)
I missed him so much and I couldn't even go to post to see him. I constantly watched the news--in total 13 deaths and 30 wounded. (My husband talked to a witness that was there 3 people in line behind Hassan and i'll leave the stories she told him out because they make my stomach turn, It's truly a tradegy.) I am so proud of the woman cop who brought Hassan down because she prevented more deaths and wounded people. She is recovering right now and so is he. Last I heard he was off the ventilators and is breathing on his own, which is a good thing..my husband says they want him alive. Haha, hmm wonder why? Whatever they do is their business, but I plead Gods mercy on him because its not going to be pretty.

Saturday evening came around and the hubby came home! The longest 48 hours of my life! I tell you what it was such a great feeling to see his face and KNOW he was all in one piece. I love that man so much I seriously can not imagine what all these families, friends and battle buddies are going through. My heart is shattered for Ft. Hood and all those that are mourning. My prayers are constantly with them. Church service on Sunday was catering to our Veterans and those affected by this tradegy. Lots of broken hearts out there. At the same time it is amazing though to see the community rise up and be so supportive. Theres been a lot of blood donations, lots of food and voluteers helping out in Ft. Hood in anyway they can. A good thing that came out of this my husband said is though Hassan took many lives and ruffled our feathers, we are now closer than ever and more determined to fight against terrorism because that is exactly what this was. A terrorist attack.

God I do thank you for your hand of protection over Stephen and all those we know. I know that sometimes we question you on why these things happen, but ultimately God you are in control. You are all knowing, but I just ask that you give all the grieving families peace that surpasses all understanding and that you strengthen our military even more than they are. Thank you again Father for your protection and allowing us to rest assure that when we call out your name you come to where we are and you cover us under your wings. What an amazing God I serve. I love you I love you I love you. Your mercy endures forever.

Count your blessings.

"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the
nations what he has done." 1 Chronicles 16:8

I love this season of thankfulness that is in the air. It is Novemeber hooray! I must say with the holidays being right around the corner I love the weather it brings :-) I am so thankful for the cool weather. I like summer too mainly because we can enjoy the outdoors-hiking, swimming, playing at the park, sports, vacation etc, but there is something about being indoors with your family, watching holiday movies, eating Mommas (that's me!) homemade soup that makes me smile from ear to ear. Oh! Let's not forget the hot choclate! I love me some choclate! I know you do too ;-)

So as Thanksgiving approaches I am looking forward to many things. Number one of course is Thanksgiving Day-I love the atmosphere, the feeling of happy hearts and of course the food, ha. Anyone who knows me knows I love to eat. I've recently started this diet (not like a crazy one where I quit eating meat or anything) I just want to be toned :-) nothing wrong with that right? BUT whats killing me is not drinking my calories! I love Dr.Pepper and love sweet tea, not gonna lie I cheat...umm...a lot haha (what? Just being honest) But seriously it's the hardest thing ever. I can do without my donuts, breakfast burritos, white bread and everything I read I'm not suppose to eat a lot of, but asking me to not drink my sweet tea or soda is like asking me not to breathe! Haha, no it's not that bad, but you get my point. ITS HARD. My husband is a great help. He supports me and gets onto me when he sees me eating something I'm not suppose to. Like the other morning I woke up and for some reason Adalie was eating Doritos in bed the night before, and well I woke up and saw the bag...well I just grabbed one thought eh, I'll just have one, but then one turned into 2 and 2 turned into 10. Stephen was like, "Baby seriously it's 8 am?!" and there I am right about to put another chip it my mouth...talk about ruining my breakfast haha- but anyways I like that he holds me accountable for little things like that. He's so wonderful.

Wow, I got way off subject-reason behind all that was to say my hard work will pay off cause on that wonderful Thanksgiving Day I'm gonna dig into my dinner by golly! haha, I'm sick of small meals, bring on that turkey, mashed tators, stuffing, biscuits, and all the rest of the goods! Man I'm making myself hungry. There is one sad thing about the holidays, Thanksgiving & Christmas are a burden to many families that don't have what some people take for granted. I am one of those people that are so thankful that in prayer I thank God for our cars, our health, for having all my limbs etc..think i'm crazy? You take away a hand and see if you don't wish you had it back. I value the small things because i've experienced loss in my life. I know what it's like to have something and not value it, then next thing I know it's gone and I'm kicking myself for having taken it for granted. I'm still guilty in some areas because i'm not perfect, but the point of my love note today is to encourage us all to be thankful at all times, in all areas, and for all things God has blessed us with. My heart breaks for those who aren't able to provide a nice meal for their families on Thanksgiving or give their children, family or friends a gift for Christmas, even though that it not what Christmas is about I know society has made it seem that way and it affects people. I'm thankful for food drives, I'm thankful for volunteers who will feed the homeless and sacrifice their day to love on the unfortunate. Talk about showing the love of Christ. I want to be apart of that one year.
Lets all strive to be thankful for everything in our lives from here on out i'm going to dedicate myself even more to appreciate it all. Good and bad-God is good and turns what the devil meant for bad into good, so yes I am thankful for the hard times. Glory to my King Jesus.


Lord, above everything I am beyond thankful for your mercy, your grace & your undying love-I am thankful for what you did at Calvary even though it breaks my heart to know what you went through for your people I am thankful because one day I'll be able to see your beautiful splendor. God I'm so very thankful for all you've done for me and my family whether it was big or small, I am thankful because it is YOU who gives us life, health, success, financial freedom and joy! I love you Father, forever and ever.