A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10
Since our church has been doing a marriage series, I've been heavily convicted about sharing the little things I have found that truly work to create a happy home and marriage. Marriages are falling apart daily as we all know and it honestly hurts to hear about it. I don’t claim to be a professional at this or perfect. Stephen nor I probably will never master it; however, with dedication, effort, commitment and the things God has given us through scripture for tools to enhance marriage; I believe we all can enjoy it much more and defeat the enemy's evil of destroying families and couples.
When God instructs us to “love” our husband in Titus 2:4 the word in Greek is translated to
phileo which means “friendship love”. A love that cherishes, enjoys, and
likes our husband. We are to value him and build a friendship with him. We should see our husband as our best friend and the person we want to be with more than any other person (outside our children).
One thing to think about is our rank ordering. Who receives most of our time? Is it friends? Co-workers? Job? Internet? Cell phone? Etc.
Each morning ask yourself, “What is something I can do today that would help him, make him feel special or even lighten his load?” I have found that the more effort you put into taking care of him it in return makes him want to do even more for you.
Plan get-aways for just the two of you, even if it is just a dinner locally, ask your best friend, sister, cousin, mother in law, Momma or someone you trust to watch the kiddos for a little bit. Share with them your idea of wanting to make more time for just you and your husband and I promise they’ll support it and be more than happy too! Stephen and I always feel refreshed and have a renewed commitment to each other after some time to just hang out with one another. When you get away alone you have no other responsibilities- you can just focus on your husband, and get to learn more about them without having to change a diaper ;) One of the best quotes I have ever heard on marriage was "Never quit learning about your spouse."
Plan to go to bed at the same time as your husband. I know that sounds cheesy, but trust me it works. When you put the kids in bed and crawl in bed with your husband without turning on the TV, or getting on the laptop it sends a message to him that he's important. Are you a cuddler like me? Perfect time to
curl up and pillow talk. If you never have time to physically nurture your relationship then hint hint. Take them to bed with you. It has been hilarious to see from the time I started applying this into our marriage a couple years ago how seriously he has taken it too. One night I asked to stay awake to do things around the house and it was an absolute no. He could not fall asleep without me so he sat and waited on the couch. lol
Take a few minutes before your husband comes home to quickly pick up. Have the kids help put toys away etc. The goal is not perfection, but instead an impression of order and neatness. Have dinner plans made in advance so he has something to eat after a long day of work/school. Greet him at the door, find ways to always make him feel like he’s
that important and by doing so it sends him a message saying “I am so glad you are home.”
Mind your mouth. Everything you speak to your husband stays in their mind forever. Lift them up and even when you are aggravated words matter, popping off never does anything but sow a negative seed. If all they hear is "you're lacking here or you're not doing this or that", it truly affects the way they feel as a man. It is never wrong to share your feelings or concerns with them, you are a team, but try your hardest to do it in a respectful way;) Respect, love and cherishing one another should rule both husband and wives heart.
Pray, pray, pray continually for your husband. They have a heavy load on their shoulders by simply being the head of the house. If they aren't the husband you dreamt of, or maybe circumstances has caused some sort of divison it's never too late- prayer is always the answer. Pray for guidance, patience, and good choice words.
Lastly, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
Be confident. We are designed to be wives of noble character and that is worth far more than Rubies ;)
P.S. I hope this has helped someone, today.
With love and prayer,
Esther
