The Women of 2012 I hope this makes you smile.

Over this Christmas school break, I have picked up the book "Bringing up Girls" by Dr. Dobson again. (I definitely recommend this book by the way. he also, has Bringing up Boys which is just as insightful. He holds great wisdom coming from a Father's perspective and solid Biblical advice.)
I have read this book before, but going back through it this time I noticed something a little more than the first round-the birth of female insecruities. This is one of the things that Dr. Dobson talks about in the first few chapters- the insecurities that form from pre school and unfortunately linger into adulthood. It really opened my eyes to see where a lot of insecruities could be developed in Adalie if Stephen and I am not proactive with her.

I put the book down to get a glass of water when I heard my phone go off. It was a couple of text messages from a dear friend of mine Theresa. She wrote me a text saying she heard a song and thought of me then thanked me for "being a beautiful example of God's love to her." I smiled and nearly cried because little did she know, along with the content of what I was already reading I have had moments like everyone does when you do ask yourself, "Am I even making a difference?" My friend went on to say, "you need to know every now and then what an impact you make on people through God!" And that is what landed  me here typing away on this laptop.

The truth is Theresa is right, so often we think good thoughts about others ,and we should tell them. She has inspired me to think back on this year that is quickly coming to a close and I've decided to join Theresa's heart today and send a short message to The Women of 2012 that have impacted my year and made me smile.

Since you are the inspiration to this Theresa, I will begin with you. To me, you have always been a role model even though we are close in age, I do look up to you. You are so compassionate and loving I wished I knew more people like you. Connor is so blessed to have you as a Momma and Adam is so as well to have such a beautiful lady serving him for the rest of his life. I love you.

Sissy-I love your heart. You are always thinking of your family and in this past year you've showed me what setting priorities looks like. I know you are sacrificing a lot and just know it will pay off! You are amazing and I admire your strength to do everything you do. I love you.

Sister-When I think back on this past year I think of all the laughs you have given me and how much I've needed them. I think about how you can come into a situation and make light of something so gracefully. I appreciate that because it isn't something I can do as easily! You've also impacted me to be more of a giver. You would rather has less than more just so you could give to those you love. I notice that. I love you.

Jacqualin-What can I say about you that you don't already know? You truly have a huge heart and are one of the most dedicated friends to me I have. There is rarely a time that I do not speak to you that I feel better. Thank you for impacting my life not just this year, but since Jr. High! You are a definition of a true friend and I love you to pieces.

Marcie-You are the strongest woman I know next to my Momma. You have blown me this past year in everything you have gone through you still hold your head high! You are a true warrior & have inspired me to also tie a knot at the end of the rope  and hang on tighter when I feel like I'm slipping! I love you so much.

Liz-Thank you, thank you, thank you, for being there for me even when I  am not always quick to be there for you. Not just in this past year, but every year you've been my friend you've always given me your best and you motivate me to be a better friend! You never judge me, you've never given up on me, &I notice when you put my situations before your own sometimes. It may seem in small ways, but it is huge to me. You are that 3 am friend I can count on if needed! It does not go unnoticed and I love you so much for it.

April-I thank you for showing me what grace looks like. You have encouraged me to share my own testimony even when it doesn't always paint the perfect picture.Thank you for being there to answer  questions and being a guide to me when I have needed it to light my way. You and Pastor Jori are a blessing to my family and I appreciate it more than you realize when you take the time to guide me and be my friend. I love you.

Kaylie-You are one of the most sincere and genuine friends I have. You know what it means to put others before youself and that has impacted me greatly. I never feel like I have to walk on egg shells with you, but I can just be me. That is so nice to have, because you're so understanding! You are a breath of fresh air.

Denise, Delana, Cecilia, Heather, Micah, Eloise, Becky, Priscilla, Kelly Ray, Janice and Kaci-I have to mention you guys because you equally have done your part in making me a better person. All of you have been there for me in smallest ways like prayers and in bigger ways like coming with me on a trip 5 hours away, or watching my kiddo when I didn't have someone I could count on. You have all been there in your own way and nonetheless have left your print on my heart this past year. Thank you for all the lunch dates, encouraging words, prayers and love you have towards me. I know that I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't have the sweet friends and family I have around me. I truly love you all and forgive me for not always showing it!

Ashley Morgan-I do not even know where to begin. I will try my best to articulate what you've done for me these past few months. I could say with all honesty that you probably are the woman of the year in my eyes. As I watched your story unfold on FB my heart just broke into a thousand pieces because you were searching for your husband and so many people were panicing, but your heart was seemingly steady. Then the news got out that he was found, but had not survived while everyone was crumbling along your side, you didn't. You are amazing Ashley. When I put myself in your shoes I think of how weak I am and how much more of God I need. I would not be able to hold myself together the way you are. You are so strong and what makes you even more beautiful is you credit your peace and strength to God. THAT, is a testimony for everyone-"though you are broken on the inside there is a glue that is keeping you together and that is Jesus Christ. It is so very evident in you. I look at Stephen and think my goodness, my life would feel completely over without him, but you have shown me Ashley that when you have God in your life, you have everything you need. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making such an impact in my life and in the lives of many others. You should write a book! You are still in my heart, thoughts and prayers! Kipton is so blessed to have you as His  Momma, I have no doubt he will grow up to be a wonderful man of God and tough as nails, just like his Momma. Love you!

Just like Theresa wanted me to know I also wanted you to know what an impact you've made and are making to those around you. Keep on shining and I hope this made you smile!

Blessings,
Esther

Christmas Cheer Throughout the Year!

I LOVE Christmas. I see a lot of excitment as I look around every where I go because Christmas day is drawing near.  If anyone ever asked me when I was a little lady," What is your favorite holiday?" the answer stood the same-Christmas! I have always loved this time of the year because it is a time the world recognizes the birth of Jesus, and some people step out of their comfort zone to learn about this Jesus that was born in a manger. I also love it because it gives believers the opportunity to take a full day to remember our Savior with the little ones around us. Christmas truly is a special time. There are other, less important, things I enjoy that comes with Christmas like: homes being decorated, the smell of cinnamon and spices, Fathers and sons hanging lights around the house, snow covering the land, the smell of wood burning in the fire place, the smiles on children's faces as they play and laugh making snow angels with friends. Plans are being made to travel, families are coming together for the first time in years, and so many other things to name!
Every year I see and read alot during this time of the year about generous acts that people are doing all over the country-things like paying for the person behind them in line, people volunteering at the elderly home or an employee picking up the ticket etc. I've participated in acts myself, but this year honestly I am being challenged.

You see, I'm learning that Christmas is not the only time to celebrate Jesus BUT as a Christian so it should be every chance we get. Christmas is a season where giving takes place, visiting the elderly homes happens more than any other time, blessings are being poured out on the needy and for the rest of the year is seems like people go back to normality and it appears that wallets & sacrifical time is put away. When I asked Jesus, what it is He would want from me this Christmas He very simply said to spread this word and asked that my Christmas cheer, my Christmas giving, my Christmas love and service to others would stretch 365 days a year. Why? Because it matters to Him not just during this season, but always.  Jesus says that the things we do for the least among us would be as if we are doing it for Him. Matthew 25:31-46. So, is it wrong to donate, give your time and money towards an angel tree, bless people with money, and volunteer at Soup Kitchens? Absolutely not, people do feel the lack of what they have the hardest during this time; however, my point is that it shouldn't be that once a year good things come to those less fortunate. I wish we could open our eyes to see that for many we experience that Christmas cheer everyday, but others are still in need. I wish I could open fox news on my browser and see all these good deeds year round, but the truth of the matter is that we all fall short. Today, I simply want to spread this message that this Christmas cheer would follow ALL through out the year.

Blessings!

Let him love you, flaws and all.

Last night I had a conversation with a friend that lingered in my mind until I got to school and before the tardy bell rang I decided that I needed to make a promise to myself. I promised that once a year I will blog/share with someone about marriage. I am not sure exactly what that looks right now, or how each year I will go about it, but I know one thing; after promising that to myself I felt better. Today, I choose to make this the start of my promise. I am not a self proclaimed marriage counselor nor do I have the keys to a perfect marriage, but what I do hold are practical suggestions that have worked for me and maybe they can for you as well.

It is no secret, men and women-we are so different. Wired nothing like one another, day and night sort of deal, but the best part of marriage for me, is learning to embrace those differences and learning to appreciate that those differences are exactly what we need to have a balanced home. Stephen, my husband, likes to hunt, fish, watch UFC, watch bloody action movies, shops in less than 1 hour, he can watch football all day any day, and is just all boy. Me, on the other hand, I am sensitive, girly, I like to shop all day, do not really like getting dirty, I would rather watch lifetime than UFC type of gal. You get the picture, just different. I have learned that one thing that has really worked for us is instead of complaining about their likes and dislikes-doing the things the other person likes to do (even though deep down you're cringing about having to do it!) is way better! And, bonus it makes them want to do what you would like to do next time that much more, because they saw you cared about what they cared about. Win, win situation! So an example would be one weekend we watch that bloody action movie, the next I pick and we go out to a nice dinner and watch a romantic movie, deal? Deal! Smooth sailing from there, right? Well...sort of.
Men like to be respected. We can do all the things they would love for us to do with them, but if we do not resepct them, nothing we do really matters. What I have learned is that men forgive easier, but they remember every word that made them feel less of a man or less of a person. Words matter. Plain and simple. Typically men say they do not need words of affirmation, well let me tell ya something-their lying! Men, absolutely need to be told they are wonderful, that they are handsome, that they are strong, that they are smart, that they are hard workers, that they are good Daddy's, that they are valued, and that we need them and they are irreplacable even if Channing Tatum asked us to run away with him, we'd STILL pick them! Ha, some of you are like..well...ya know I don't know about that one...ha! Teasing, but my point is they do need to be told the exact same things that we desire of our men to tell us. One night, Stephen and I were talking about he said, "Babe, I know you think that I don't need you because you've said that before, but I do. I need you Est." I remember how foolish I felt for ever thinking otherwise and believing that just because he was a man that did not mean that he did not have emotions or a heart. So, yes, men need to be reaffirmed and be told the things we said when we dated them. Remember the lovey dovey cheesy things you would say when you dated? I do, and that brings me to my next point. Dating.
Date your spouse. I think one of the hardest things for Stephen and I was finding the time to date, between having children, school, church and work, but once we started dating each other, wow what a huge difference it made in our relationship. I remember thinking, "I live with him, how did I not realize this much about him?" The truth is we are both changing constantly and if we never spend that one on one time with each other life can be become a routine and you quit learning about them. I never want to come to a place where I do not know my husband. I know you do not either, so date him. Call up your Momma, or a trust worthy friend/relative and plan an awesome night out. Whatever you both would like, it doesn't have to be anything fancy or expensive a simple walk around the park holding hands and going for ice cream is just as fun! The point is to get away alone together and unplug from everyday life to just love, listen to, and learn about the person God gave you to go through life with you. That's a big deal. Cherish, protect and love them. Which leads me to my final point. Cherish, Protect and Love your husband.
Cherish, Protect and Love are verbs. They are all choices.You make a commitment (a choice) to marry them. I was reading an article once in a marriage book and it said something to the affect of 9 times out of 10 women could have chosen to marry anyone they would have liked, but they chose the one they married. The man simply asked us a question, and we said YES! Sooo why complain? I think I laughed really hard because I was like oh my goodness how right is this author! I made the choice to have a husband and I chose Stephen and everything that came with Stephen. I understand that people change, sometimes we do not even see it coming, but love is powerful, love covers mistakes, be quick to forgive, protect their dignity, do not bring up the past, (we all have skeletons in our closet too) respect them for who they are while challenging them gentley to discover who God has called them to be if they aren't living in that light and you'd like for them to (be the example if need be), and never take them for granted. You know the saying you do not know what you have until it is gone? I say, forget that! KNOW what you have and know how much you'll miss it when it is gone. When you argue, love them anyways, by the way everyone argues-you are not abnormal-we all think we are right. And sometimes ladies, we are! But men do not like to be wrong and so setting all pride aside know that we do not always have to prove how right we are. I know sometimes it feels like we should, but leaving the issue alone works even better ;) Please do not de-friend me for saying this ha, but in those times we are wrong ladies, as hard as it can be try saying  "hey ok, I am wrong, you're right honey." I promise it makes a huge difference and truly melts their heart. You hug and kiss and move forward. I am not naive to think all marriages work so easily that way, but if nothing has worked before could be worth giving it a shot? If all else fails be quick to forgive, let love and respect rule your heart remembering that God gave you this person to love, protect and cherish. Be thankful in prayer for that man.Prayer-it binds what's been broken, it mends what's been torn, it heals, patches and restores. There is nothing God can not repair. If your marriage is at the brink of losing all hope, know that there is a different kind of hope in Jesus who can do more than we could ever imagine in our lives, in our children's lives and in our marriage! Pray for your spouse daily, have fun with them, enjoy them, love them, and ladies just like you knew the reason as to why you said yes, they also have a reason why they asked in the first place-let's put aside all insecurities and let him love you, flaws and all.
In Him,
Esther

Really?? Yes....really.

I am certain that I have sat down to write in my blog approximately 148 times over the past couple of months. This past Wednesday during Grace Group (Wednesday night bible study gathering) I was talking to a couple of church friends and I mentioned how I have been completely neglectful of a tool the Lord has given me to use to spread His love, His Word and testimony. I left Wednesday evening feeling motivated, uplifted and inspired again so, here I am.

By the way I know that blogs, in some cases, have been used as an outlet to express controversial thoughts without confrontation, used for self recognition, and/ or approval, but my deepest desire is that you would find this blog to be everything contrary of that and that these words would not be read as MY words, but those of Christ who speaks with humility, substance, love and grace.

Each day that Lord allows me to face, I wake up with the intention of striving for honesty and well, today I’d like to be really honest with you about what has been on my mind and in my heart. In the past few days -2 weeks or so I’ve discovered some rather tragic news and have been involved in what could have been tragic news as well so a part of me has felt a little overwhelmed (and naturally so I suppose.) Questions began to surface, so many thoughts began to be entertained, and if not careful, fear/ disappointment begins to creep into our heart when we open ourselves up to allowing our mind to wonder all the whys” & “what ifs”.

In really thinking about the news I’ve heard in these last couple weeks and what I experienced recently it actually brought up some really regretful thoughts then more desirable thoughts like what really matters in life. Death is a natural thing, and though it cuts us the deepest when we hear about it, we refuse to think about it, it really is something we will all go through with our loved ones and we really will face ourselves.

I am not too much of a dweller, but I did sit alone quietly on Saturday for some time and my mind went back in time remembering people that have entered my life for a season, then slipped into eternity and I found myself sitting there questioning, “During that time you had a part in their life what good did you really pour into their life? Or bad? Or…. none at all? Esther! Did you really share Jesus with them?” Panic set in ( that last question in particular really haunted me so let me address that first).

Romans 10:14-15 says “How, then, can they (people) call on the One they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the One of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

You see, it really is our job as Christians to spread the good news about Jesus even in this controversial, “non wanting to hear it” and “just wanting acceptance” world, we must be bold and share the truth. I can desire all I want that no one would suffer and that all would be in God’s glory to see our Savior face to face, but if I do not open my mouth or move my feet then do I live in vain? Ouch, that really hurt. I now more than ever have a burning desire to remind us that tomorrow is not a promise for any soul on this earth and that we all really need Jesus, so badly.

Another thought I had was, “In that time of knowing them how did I treat them? You see, people really matter. Sometimes in our hectic and frantic lives we forget that and we dig ourselves deeper into our world forgetting that friend or loved one that at one point poured good into your life and helped when no else would. Then they are gone, and well you find yourself on the edge of bed thinking did I really show them while I could that I loved them even if it was just one phone call a month? Did they really know I loved and appreciated them? It really does matter that we show our love, God’s love, to those around us because people really are hurting in this world. We always think it is so cliché to say, but a friendly smile, yea-you’d be surprised how it can positively affect someone’s day. (And if I can just say really quick that being upset about petty little issues is meaningless and if we’d really humble ourselves to see that just as they made a mistake, we make mistakes too, but our flesh clings to being hung up on an offense rather than covering their mistakes with love like we should. (“Love covers all wrongs...” Proverbs 10:12) It matters that we are there to help one another in time of need. I even thought, “My God forgive me if ever, I could have been an act of an answered prayer for someone and selfishly did not follow through.” What that means is, sometimes what people are praying for, God has already revealed to us or given us the wisdom to share that knowledge, hope or encouragement that someone needs to hear, but we get so caught up in our lives that we forget such a significant purpose we have here on earth- to be an extended arm of God.

I pray that we would all really begin to remember from this day forward that people matter.
Wrapping up with my final thought on Saturday left me with a smile and it was “There are so many things you think matter, but they really don’t so when you find yourself at the end of your life Esther, what would you really like for your children to know what really matters in life?” I found the answer to be clear and this was it: “I want Adalie and Maddox to know that trophies, awards, acceptance, money, fame, wealth, popularity and high self esteem really do not matter in this life, but what I want them to know that does REALLY matter is to truly love people with no regard to skin color, to be sympathetic towards people, to give cheerfully with no intention of wanting a return, to desire a close relationship with God each day, to be a positive influence to all those around you sometimes you are the only Bible people read, to be bold and stick to their word, to have courage to take stand for Jesus in Jr. High and High School when it seems uncool to do that, to have manners and discipline, to smile at others often, to be humble and place others before you, to give people the benefit of doubt, to give to the needy regardless if you think they are going to use it for the wrong reason it isn’t your job to judge that, but it is your job to give, to remember when times get tough God is always near and is our hope is in Him, to not care what others think, to stay in tune with God’s voice, to remember to help the little old woman with groceries, to pray for others more than for yourself, to not get so caught up in their lives they forget those they love, to never place money as a god, and to always stay within God’s will.

Yea….I get it. This is what REALLY matters. Thank you God for a new perspective.

Chapter 1

The 2011-2012 school year is wrapping up and as I reflect back I can say as a first year teacher it was definitely not what I expected. It was more.
I can still remember the fast pace beating of my heart on August 22nd, 2011 as the first bell of the school year rang. It was 1st period and the student's began to trickle into my classroom. It was an unexplainable experience each class period to listen to each child introduce themselves to me as if they were saying, "Hi, my name is _____ and please remember God has placed you in my life not just to teach me the 7th grade Reading curriculum, but meaningful life lessons." And at the end of my day I remember thinking just that and also that these are 112 souls that God has placed in my care; what an honor and huge respondsibility.
I have seen first hand the hurt in a child's eye from the lack of attention at home, the struggles of trying to fit in, all the embarrassments and fears of an adolescent and I'll tell you the hardest thing about my job isn't redirecting the students, it isn't discipline, or grading and paperwork-it is not being able to save them all. With that being said, I consider this first year a success. Not because of the passing state test scores, but because I am walking away with a greater sense of compassion. I am walking away with more patience. I am walking away with more knowledge-these student's taught me just as much as I taught them. I am walking away with an eagerness to do more. And I am walking away with a smile because that student who never spoke to me for the whole first half of the year finally felt comfortable to open up and share her life with me. That student who always said,"I can't do that Mrs, I've never been able to- finally did "it". That student who felt ashamed of who they were blossomed and accepted their looks now carries a confident smile. That student who never really cared, now cares. That student who liked to bully, stands up for the ones being picked on. That student who never thought they'd pass the 7th grade, passed with flying colors.
It isn't the end of school in my book, it is simply chapter 1.

Love,
Mrs. Vanover

Maddox, you're a dream come true

You're A Dream Come True.

Well I must say that dreams certainly do come true,


It was February 8th and you came wrapped in baby blue.


Son, I always knew that I wanted a baby boy, perfect and healthy just like you.


I’ll never forget that first day we met.


No words can describe what I was feeling inside,


And at that moment my mind was set,


I would love you forever, on that you can bet.


From the moment I saw you until my very last breath,


I’ll always do my best and teach you,


God’s word and path that saves us from death.


One day you’ll become a man and resemble your Daddy,


You’ll make us so proud, along with Addie.


The day will come when a special woman says, “Maddox, I do,”


And I promise the same thoughts I have of you-she will too.


Happy 1st Birthday

I love you,

Momma Bear

To Be More Than Rubies

 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10


Since our church has been doing a marriage series, I've been heavily convicted about sharing the little things I have found that truly work to create a happy home and marriage. Marriages are falling apart daily as we all know and it honestly hurts to hear about it. I don’t claim to be a professional at this or perfect. Stephen nor I probably will never master it; however, with dedication, effort, commitment and the things God has given us through scripture for tools to enhance marriage; I believe we all can enjoy it much more and defeat the enemy's evil of destroying families and couples.
When God instructs us to “love” our husband in Titus 2:4 the word in Greek is translated to phileo which means “friendship love”. A love that cherishes, enjoys, and likes our husband. We are to value him and build a friendship with him. We should see our husband as our best friend and the person we want to be with more than any other person (outside our children).
One thing to think about is our rank ordering. Who receives most of our time? Is it friends? Co-workers? Job? Internet? Cell phone? Etc.

Each morning ask yourself, “What is something I can do today that would help him, make him feel special or even lighten his load?” I have found that the more effort you put into taking care of him it in return makes him want to do even more for you.

Plan get-aways for just the two of you, even if it is just a dinner locally, ask your best friend, sister, cousin, mother in law, Momma or someone you trust to watch the kiddos for a little bit. Share with them your idea of wanting to make more time for just you and your husband and I promise they’ll support it and be more than happy too! Stephen and I  always feel refreshed and have a renewed commitment to each other after some time to just hang out with one another. When you get away alone you have no other responsibilities- you can just focus on your husband, and get to learn more about them without having to change a diaper ;) One of the best quotes I have ever heard on marriage was "Never quit learning about your spouse."

Plan to go to bed at the same time as your husband. I know that sounds cheesy, but trust me it works. When you put the kids in bed and crawl in bed with your husband without turning on the TV, or getting on the laptop it sends a message to him that he's important. Are you a cuddler like me? Perfect time to
curl up and pillow talk. If you never have time to physically nurture your relationship then hint hint. Take them to bed with you. It has been hilarious to see from the time I started  applying this into our marriage a couple years ago how seriously he has taken it too. One night I asked to stay awake to do things around the house and it was an absolute no. He could not fall asleep without me so he sat and waited on the couch. lol
Take a few minutes before your husband comes home to quickly pick up. Have the kids help put toys away etc. The goal is not perfection, but instead an impression of order and neatness. Have dinner plans made in advance so he has something to eat after a long day of work/school. Greet him at the door, find ways to always make him feel like he’s that important and by doing so it sends him a message saying “I am so glad you are home.”

Mind your mouth. Everything you speak to your husband stays in their mind forever. Lift them up and even when you are aggravated words matter, popping off never does anything but sow a negative seed. If all they hear is "you're lacking here or you're not doing this or that", it truly affects the way they feel as a man. It is never wrong to share your feelings or concerns with them, you are a team, but try your hardest to do it in a respectful way;) Respect, love and cherishing one another should rule both husband and wives heart.

Pray, pray, pray continually for your husband. They have a heavy load on their shoulders by simply being the head of the house. If they aren't the husband you dreamt of, or maybe circumstances has caused some sort of divison it's never too late- prayer is always the answer. Pray for guidance, patience, and good choice words.

Lastly, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
Be confident. We are designed to be wives of noble character and that is worth far more than Rubies ;)

P.S. I hope this has helped someone, today.

With love and prayer,
Esther