His Death bought us access, healing and life.

Every Easter Sunday, we go over the crucifiction of Christ and
though I've listened to this story all my life, it never fails to
impact and touch the very core of my being. The deep explanation
of all Jesus went through for me...for us...for the world..leaves
me completely speechless.

Easter is so much more than bunnies or hunting eggs, it is really
all about Jesus and His gift to us. Easter Sunday gives people
around the world the
chance to hear the good news that Jesus is RISEN and gives them
an opportunity to accept the One who died for their very heartbeat.
For me, it allows me to reflect on His love--realize the significance
of the cross and study the meaning of the resurrection.

I want to share with you all what we (as children of God) have
inherited when Jesus bowed His head, and gave up His spirit.
John 19:30

#1) When Jesus cried out and gave up His spirit,the bible says the
veil in the temple was torn from top to bottom! Matt 27:50-51
In those days,there was a veil in the temple that separated
men from God so to speak and only the high priest was permitted
to pass beyond this veil once each year (exodus 30:10)
The priest would enter into God's presence for all of Israel
and make atonement for their sins. BUT when Jesus died, that
veil was torn, and we now have full access to the Father!! Thank
you Jesus. He bore our sins and because of this we are no longer
separated, but cleansed by His precious blood.


#2.) The bible says in Isaiah 53:5 that Jesus was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment
that brought us peace was upon Him, and
by his wounds we are healed.
If at anytime I am sick, I say Lord you've paid the price,
you were bruised and crushed so that my body can function in
excellence and perfection, I declare I am healed. There's power
in that verse, so I encourage you to speak that over your sickness.

#3) His death bought us life. Jesus was the ulimate sacrifice. God
had to send His precious son to die for this world because there
was nothing else worthy to purchase us. When Adam and Eve ate from
the tree of life, we entered into sin. We are born into it. It is
something we can not avoid, we are sinners and our judgment should
be death, yet JESUS came to save us. We've inherited eternal life.
The Bible says we should die to sin like Jesus. 2 Timothy 11
states, For if we died with Him, then we shall also live with Him.
That's a promise, that I so deeply hang onto.

This Easter, I encourage you to reflect on what God has done
because of His love for us.
I blogged about it a while back, but if you are a parent, I am not
sure how many of us could willing give up our child for this world
which is so full of sin, evil and darkness. Yet Jesus gave Himself
for ransom, for all sinners, all ethnicities, all people...
it is truly amazing.

Jesus, I thank you. That you were all about a love that was bigger
than a life. (Your life.) I have no words to express how I feel.
You are the most beautiful being that ever walked this earth and
sometimes I wish I could have been that woman that touched the
hem of your garment just so I could have touched you, but then I
stop and think--ONE day, I will see you face to face!! Praise God!!
And you know Jesus, I am so glad I serve a living God, these
past so called "gods" are dead, but you are ALIVE! And You
are the ONLY God alive today thats changing lives, preforming signs
and wonders, healing the sick, providing for your people--You are
the ONLY true God. Thank you again for your blood that washes us as
white as snow. You are beautiful and worthy of our praise. I love you.

P.s. For the next few days I am going to be taking a break from FB,
texting,my blogger and anything that consumes my time
to give this week respect. I want to focus only on Jesus and
everything He did for me. Thanks for understanding, love ya'll!
Be back next week : ) God bless you!

Checkers

First off TGIF : )
I am so excited the weekend is here although it does seem like this
week particularly flew by faster than any other. The weather
is starting to warm up it seems like (at least for this
weekend anyway) Today has been a great day. My car is finally fixed!
Thanks to my amazing husband who sat impatiently ha, buuuut he
did have to wait almost 5 hours for my car to be taken care of this morning.
Oh and he still detailed the inside after ; ) Love him!!
For girls who know a lot about cars don't get mad at me on this part:
I'm really not sure exactly was wrong with it,lol all I know is
it made a funny noise when I drove it over a certain speed and the
wheel would shake a lil.
Something about the wheel barring? Who knows, I also got 2 new tires
woohoo and some inside stuff done. Thank you to my love who paid for
it, because I would have probably used that money for something else
hah, but men--they do come in handy : ) especially when it comes to
not being ripped off. Can you imagine me going in there "Umm, my car
makes a funny noise when I drive... and the wheel shakes a little,so
can you please fix it" ha, that is so me. They would have totally rigged up a fat bill I'm sure, but that's what my hubby is for (among many other
things :)

Speaking of my husband, he is actually part of my blog today. (sort of)
Last night he asked me to play a game of checkers.
I agreed and we started playing. The first game
I was too busy eating my ice cream to really care about making bad moves
...every move I made he took one of my chances. (you'll get
it in a minute) I goofed off and would slide my piece into any opening
not being strategic so of course the game was over very quickly.
He said lets play again, and this time I was focused. Not only had
I eaten my ice cream hah, but I am a bit of a competitor I HAVE to
beat my hubby when we play (he hates that cause I never play for
fun ha I'm getting better though)
He started the game off and made his first move. I'm now looking
around focused, concentrating in how I can keep my chances of getting
to the finish line. I'd make my move.
He'd laugh and sometimes would rub his hands together symbolizing
"I have her trapped". His whole mission was to set me up so I'd be
trapped, cornered, have no way out to move! (you see where I'm
heading?) But I kept my focus, my concetration,and with every move
I made I was cautious of the consquence. I took notice
of how he watched me, gazing to see if I was looking elsewhere,
he purposely planned in his mind how he could steal
one of my pieces blessings
When I got to thinking about this game after
we had finished,(and I won hehe)
God really began to show me how this is on a spiritual level. This
is exactly how Satan works.
He watches patiently, gets a hold of your habits and the moves
you easily make without focus..when you slip up, BAM he takes something
away from you--Sometimes it's joy, happiness, peace, hunger
for the Lord etc and with every wrong move it makes it easier
and easier for him to corner you, trap you, and ulimately steal
your salvation. It's amazing how a game of checkers made sense
to me... God's word is so true when it states, Satan is like
a lion roaming, seeking those to destroy and devour so when
we are careless not really tuned in with Jesus, or focused on the
finish line he'll snatch us up quickly.
That is why
we need to be in God's word daily--so we can be fed, nourished, and
strengthened to receive His wisdom...to make smart decisions, moves, and choices.
The more I study His word the stronger I grow and out-smart satan.
He tries to strategically trap me with his moves (tempations) and
because I study God's word I can see it from a mile away...so now the tables have turned and i'm chasing
him off : ) Hallejuah thank
you Jesus!
Today I encourage you to seek God's very heart. If you do not know
the Lord and would like to please message me, or seek your local
church for guidance because the truth is satan wants to keep people
trapped from the truth of knowing Jesus and having a dedicated
relationship with him...
I can not tell you every move or decision to make in your life,
but one thing I can promise you, is that if choose God, it'll be the
best, smartest, and safe move you'll ever make because with Jesus
you will make it to that finish line to be crowned, just like checkers.

For the first time in a long time...

I really feel like God is at work in my life again.
I have the permission of the other person involved to share this
beautiful testimony of God's amazing wonders. It's funny, you know,
how God uses people. There is always a blessing for both parties. For me,
God proved I was really meant for this and for her God has proved His
existence and answered her prayers.

(I'm changing her name)
I've know Elizabeth since she was in Jr. High maybe even before then and
she has always been such a sweet person. I even look at her like a little
sister. Time has gone by and neither one of us can say we've ever kept in
touch in fact we rarely speak(and this is what makes the story so unbelievable.)

Up until yesterday I didn't know a whole lot about Elizabeth...but
that she's popular, in college, is on and off with this boy,
has small town drama, hates people in her business and likes to drink.
Well about a week and a half ago
I felt the Lord speaking to me that she was needing something from me...
I couldn't exactly put my finger on what it was He needed me to do. As each
day went by my urge to talk to her grew more and more.
Once I got the full understanding of what God wanted me to speak into her life I'll be honest,
I got scared. I even doubted myself,(that Devil I tell ya) I thought "well
it's probably just me thinking it up.." I doubted hearing God's voice,
because
you know that is something to be REALLY careful with. (saying you've heard
from the Lord and telling someone) There was a couple times in my life that
I was praying at Church and someone came up to me to pray for me (I promise
I'm not trying to be ugly but this is an example) That person shook me up
and down praying for me telling me that God told her to tell me something
(and boy was she wrong)..sometimes people can want God to use them so much
they let their own opinions speak instead of God.... But that's for a
later blog.

So, after praying for a couple days I knew it was truly His voice and
He wasn't going to leave me alone on this I said "There's no way I can
tell her this God, are you serious? You know she doesn't like people up
in her business she'll think I'm weird or something..." God reminds me
of my husband, when they ask something of me--they don't care to hear
my excuses lol.

Finally I mustered up the courage to send her a simple little message..
I waited and waited and finally I got a reply.

"Esther I'm so glad you messaged me I would love to talk to you.
I need someone. I need God in my life and I've been praying
for help and
asking him to help me be a better person. I want to know God and
to love
him so much. I want to go to church weekly and to feel good
about myself.
I'm so glad u messaged me. Please text me ***-***-***. Love you"

WHAT???!!?? OMG OMG OMG is exactly what my mind was screaming,
my heart was pounding was this for real? (Elizabeth you can laugh
at this part) She even said
"love you" haha
I was terrified
to talk to her, why? Because I'm a nobody in her world, what do I know?

I didn't even really know she believed in God?
That evening after work I called her and we had the most break through
conversation. I could feel God breaking those chains of bondage-
She brought tears to my eyes--her sincerity to want to
get to know God, her desire to live a different lifestyle, she even
acknowledged that the party life is only a trick of satan to make
you think "this is what living it up means" but it only lasts
a little while until you need something else to fill the emptiness in your
heart. I told her that I was unhappy at one point in my life as well,
but when I finally surrendered my life to God, He replaced my sorrows
and gave me so much peace and joy instead.
Things that used to be boring are now fun, I find pleasure in sitting
at home with my family when back then I thought it was crazy, and
needed to find some place to go out. She thanked me over and over
and said, she is in awe because she had been searching for
answers and God had used me to answer her prayers.

I'm so humbled by this, I give God all the honor and glory, I really do
because I know that I alone am nothing.
Thank you Jesus for believing in me to carry out your assignments.

Today,I pray over Elizabeth Lord, (you know her name), I pray blessings
over her life, I pray she continues to walk in the path of righteousness
for we know this path is the only path that leads to eternal life.
Guide her Holy one, for we are aware it is going to be a challenge, but
in Jesus name I rebuke Satan and his demons and all the tricks they may
use to lure her astray. I pray a hedge of protection over her today Lord,
and grow this seed you've planted.
May you give her strength she needs to resist temptation. Break every
stronghold and yoke God, give her peace and wisdom to make good
choices. Draw her near to You, and thank you
for her salvation, we give you all glory- In Jesus powerful name,
Amen.

9 How can a young person live a pure life?
By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.

11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.

12 Praise be to you, O LORD;
teach me your decrees.
Psalms 119:9-12

As I sit here..

22Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before
him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23And after he
had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to
pray. Whenevening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this
time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the
wind was against them. 25 And in the fourth watch of the night he
came to them, walking on the sea. 26But when the disciples saw him
walking on the sea,they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!"
and they cried out in fear. 27But immediately Jesus spoke to them,
saying,
"Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid."
28And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come
to you on the water." 29He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat
and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the
wind,he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save
me." 31Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him,
saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Matthew 14:22-31

...As I sit here reading this in the cool breeze I imagine the
winds of this storm. I paint a picture in my mind of what it would
have been like to be Peter and I ponder the thought, would I have
done the same...and then I realize I do.

Our Pastor spoke a little on this Sunday morning and well
it interested
me so much I haven't quit thinking about it. The story is so
much more deep then I think most people realize.

As I sit here I think of the closeness,the relationship, the love
Peter and Jesus shared...Jesus walked, talked, and guided Peter...
yet Peter at one point still doubted. God help us.

As I sit here I reflect on my life and ask, what is it that causes
me to take my eyes off Jesus like Peter did??
The bible says Peter walked to Jesus on water, but when he saw
--the winds,{your problems}
the storms {your problems become bigger}
he was--terrified and lost faith. Oh if only we could look aside our
problems and storms and keep our eyes & faith fixed on Jesus...

As I sit here I link this to my personal life. When things
are going good I'm chipper, happy and joyful as can be...I see
myself walking closer and closer to Jesus--But satan and his demons
rage in anger to see someone love Jesus and trust in Him so much.
The bible says he is like a lion, prowling..roaming..seeking someone
(to take their eyes off Jesus) to devour and destroy. 1 Peter5:8
Lucky for us " we have overcome Satan because greater is He that
is in US then he that is in the world" 1 John 4:4

As I sit here I literally think of the times where even the
smallest distraction made me take my eyes of Jesus. You know
what that little distraction was? No Sleep. Satan (not to give
him any credit) fills our
lives with distractions (winds) that cause our boat to start
rockin.
We become off balance, disoriented and dazed. I don't know
about anyone else, but without sleep I'm good for nuthin'. I need
my rest. Everyone does, but even though it seems small it's a
spark that maginifies the flame. Example of a distraction:

NO SLEEP
Late night taking care of a sick baby
in the morning--you oversleep and are in too much of a hurry
to read your devotional so you manage
to sing through a worship song on your way to work
and even then you're still tired so it was half tail.
you try the tricks of Coffee, Dr. Pepper (you know that only last a
little while)
you end up having a Bad day at work and the stress of it
exhausts you even
more..
You speed home only to get a ticket cause you're so tired...all
you want is to just. get. home.
you have dinner, dishes, bathe the children, make time for
your husband
he says something to correct you while cleaning...well
your fuse is small and you immediately
snap back. (Satan loves destorying homes and marriages)
you later apologize and hope to read some bible. You're reading
the words but not fully engaged. You're eye lids close and you
think
i'll pick back up tomorrow..(not at one point of the day have you
even really acknowledged the one who loves you most)
you try to say your prayers...and well you fall asleep half way thru..

So you see,
As I sit here and think of this scenario I picture myself sinking
like Peter. Something as small as this, and the reason I say that
is because everyday we must take up our cross and follow Jesus
regardless of circumstances.

As I sit here I think of how we can all be Peters. For some it
could be bills, finances, un-happy marriage, addictions,etc and
all those storms Jesus can all calm. As I sit here I think, I would
never want to hear Jesus repeat the words He spoke of to Peter
"O
you of little faith"... I would be too embarrassed to even look at
His face. You see we at times think we can do anything on our own,
we can handle it, we're grown--we got this. But that is so far from
the truth, Jesus is our only hope in the rotting world. I chose to
renew my faith in Jesus today as I reflect on His word because no
matter what distractions or problems may arise I know one thing to
be true. Jesus is always at arms reach and even when we make mistakes
and feel ourselves sinking--He never fails to save us before we drown
in our storm.


...never tell your God how big your problem is but tell your
problem how BIG YOUR GOD IS.



~Est

Dedicated to my forever--Stephen

All I can do is just, be me.

Howdy! I am just so chipper today. The weather is so gorgeous
out today! I have come to realize a couple things. I love cold
weather... but only for a few reasons. Top 3 being that I can
dress up in big jackets, wear scarfs and gotta love the ugg boots.
Other than that-winter you're rough! Not exactly in central Texas,
but where I grew up we were in snow storms end of Nov-March. No lie.
I guess you get used to it after a few years, but it's still no
fun when it lasts longer than summer! Today, I've experienced the
warmth of the sun and now more than ever I'm ready for Spring!
There is only a few things {like chocolate, romantic comedies,
bubble baths, and back massages}that are better than Spring weather.
I'm not sure what it is, but I love opening the back pourch door
to let in some breeze, while I'm spring cleaning listening to my
all time favorite band..I like to open the blinds to allow the
beautiful sunshine in my home {{that magnifies all the dusty
furniture hah,}} nonetheless--I look forward to this.

You may wonder why I titled this blog "all I can do is just be me."
Well the answer to that is simple. Because that's all I can do.
I'm who God created me to be yes, I fully believe that, but He also
gave us free will, a mind of our own, and freedom to be creative in
being who we are.
A few things about me that I wanted to share {some people say I
don't share enough...ya I know right? hah I always share so much
it seems like}, but if you really are curious to know Me, the real
Me, here you are:

I am Esther Vanover no matter who is around. I never drop my morals
or values for anyone. I care nothing about being popular or
recognized, I think people that need praise everyday are some of
the most insecure people. I am scared of things I shouldn't be. I'm
definitely praying about that. I talk a lot. I would much rather
give than receive. I get irritated when
people are only who they are because they want to feel like they
belong--it's ok to be different. When I'm quiet that doesn't mean
i'm angry I'm probably thinking. I'm quick to apologize.
I can't stand knowing I hurt someones feelings. I dress weird
some-days. I think confidence is more than skin deep. I like originality.
I like friendly competition. I genuinely feel convicted if I hear
someone talk bad about another person. I'm careful who I trust.
I can keep secrets.I hate gossip. I can not function correctly
if I am not in Church every Sunday {I will have a horrible week}
I'm quiet and reverent in Church {I swear I feel like God will
strike me dead if I'm not
haha}
the best feeling in my world is to get lost in worship and I have
no care in the world who is watching. I love good lyrics and
rarely listen to anything other than Christian music. I'm careful
what I listen too hence why K-love is my only set station in my car.
I never watch scary movies. Everything I do,
I am careful to give God the glory for.
I never want to be that person that triumphs and feels
successful without recognizing the one who gave those blessings
to me. I never give up on people I love and know has potential.
I'm compassionate, and sometimes get taken advantage of. I still
haven't learned my lesson.I hate "know it alls" cause they really don't.
I get very emotional when I hear bad news about children. I respect
single mothers this job is really tough as it is with two parents.
I am in love with scents. Things that smell good make me smile.
I dream big and push my limits.
I never drink enough water. I would rather have a sweet tea or
dr.pepper over any other drink. Gangsters terrify me lol
I love that i'm imperfect. Do I
think that gives me justification to do wrong things? No. But I
love it because I know that I'll always need Jesus. I never want
to get to a point where I feel like I can do anything on my own.
I love sports. I miss playing college volleyball. I like a clean
home it makes me feel good. I am addicted to my iPhone. I spend
too much time on Facebook. I can't help but to think about all my
closest friends at least once a day. I talk to my daddy every morning.
I love to talk to God,
I enjoy a walk in the park
just with nature, Him & I although I rarely get the chance to.
I'm overly emotional, but learning to be strong in Christ. I'm never satisfied with who I am. I guess it's because I never want the Lord
to be finished with me. I dislike when people count the things
they've done for you. I love BIG. I try really
hard to see the best in everyone because I know God made them for
a purpose. I cry too easy. I depend on my family A LOT. I pray all
the stinkin' time. I follow my heart & stay true to myself.
I really believe I have all I need in this life. I could go the rest
of my life without heavy traffic.
It's painful when I make the decision to cut ties with toxic people,
but Gods word says
Bad company corrupts good character! I like people who practice what
they preach. I know that when you're successful there will always be
those who would kill to see you fail. I'm always the first to admit
my failures, or short comings. I don't like getting picked apart
for being human.
I get annoyed when people talk bad about their parents.
I'm stubborn, but when it's my turn to lose I really let it go.
I HATE when people say GD.
I'm passive, and hate confrontation but I am strong willed.
I will never let anyone ruin my marriage, friendships or family.
I get sick to my stomach when I see people complain about how
hard their life has
been {when clearly they are spoiled}and there are people out in
3rd world countries with serious issues. I try to understand people,
I really do, but sometimes I think their issues are self centered.
With my whole heart I always try to do what I feel is right,
not just because God is watching me, but simply because it's just
the right thing to do. If I could feed, shelter, treat, love on all
the homeless, abused, or abandoned people that would be a dream job. If
I had all
the money in the world I trust my heart enough to say it would go
to more places and people than for my own personal pleasures.
I love going on vacations and seeing new places. I like fatty foods
and hate working out. I think my husband is the smartest man
I've ever met. I hold very high {sometimes unrealistic standards
for him} People that are team players are who I tend to be
best friends with. I like humble people. I don't do well with "self-
righteous people." I dream of the day I'll see Jesus face to face.
I wish
I could find a cure for all terminal diseases.
I never feel like I do enough for the kingdom of God. I give credit
where credit is due. I really think that I have been
blessed beyond measure and i'm careful to count my blessings. I have
an amazing husband that I know was who God made for me...He
is a wonderful father, both my parents are alive
and well, I have good health, success in my job, awesome siblings,
a saved family,clothes, water, food, air, a home 2 cars
and a beautiful
baby girl.. I truthfully have NOTHING to complain about,yet I find
something to be upset about.. if
anything I should be more thankful to my heavenly Father for
always giving me what I need.
And well there you have it. My thoughts, desires, and flaws-I'd never
want to be someone else because...well that's not who God created me
to be..all I can do is just. be. me.
~Sincerely
The Real Esther.

A beautiful soul

"...O man what is good--what does the Lord require of you? To act
justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

When I meet an extraordinary person, someone above average, someone
who is almost too wonderful to be real-I want to make them an example.
What I mean by this is I have to make known exactly how amazing they are
so when I look back I'll never forget exactly how much they touched
my life. God is our ultimate example and there is no one that is
perfect like Him however recognizing when someone has impacted you in
such a way
...I just...have to write about it.

I have known this woman for about 3 months now. She is in her mid 40's,
heavier set, foreign, Godly, strong, humble and is just such a beautiful
being. I have never met anyone like her. Sometimes it is hard to
communicate because of the language barrier, but when she speaks it's
like my soul understands. My heart strings are pulled on and my eyes
fill with tears,
I often choke up and look away. I really hope she never thinks I'm not
listening because I'm the complete opposite. I'm fully tuned in.

Lagitafa Saina. That's her name. Amazing woman of God. Amazing. I use that
word to the most extreme. The first time I met her, I knew there was
something different about her. The saying "never judge a book by its cover"
plays no role on her, because she is such an open book for all to see. I
believe Christ is suppose to be reflected/shown in our lives. When people
notice, see, or come in contact with me I want them to see GOD, not Esther,
but He who dwells inside the very core of my being. That is exactly how Lagi (that's what I call her) lives her life and it is out of this world radical.
There has never been a time that I have met a person with such patience,
be so slow to anger, slow to judge, quick to make things better, shows such compassion, loves the Lord like I've never seen and isn't ashamed to show it
...no matter who is around, she is the same. She is tactful though I noticed
that. She believes what she does, but always is careful how she represents
our Lord. That is something I believe people lack, tact in their salvation.

Futhermore--it seems as though nothing moves Lagi, come hail or high water-
God is her
strong foundation and I am just so grateful that I've had the chance to cross
paths with Lagi. You know..I've been thinking I know that God sends people
our way for a reason (whether good or bad). I've even blogged about "divine appointments" but in this case- I truly believe that God also sends angels
in disguise. I really do, that is the only way I can describe her. There will
be a day when Lagi will leave me, but I'll never forget her. Her embracing
hugs, warm smile, thoughtful comments and Godly influence. Lagi you may
never get the chance to read this, but know I admire you. You are the woman
I wish to become in Christ, and God definitely has his finger prints in your
life. Thank you for being who God has molded you to be, because there are
few like you. I honestly do not think you see how amazing you are maybe that
maybe because you are such a humble soul, but I know one thing--you are
beautiful. Inside and out. You're such a beautiful soul. God bless you always!

Love,
Esther