I absolutely love Christmas time. It is my favorite time of the year. I enjoy the atmosphere, the movies, the lights, the food, playing Santa Claus and all the other works-but I really love celebrating Jesus' birthday. It is not cliche' to say "Jesus is the reason for the season" because he is. Christmas 2009 has come and gone. I'm not going to lie I am really sad. I have such a wonderful time surrounded by family and friends that I wish everyday could be like Christmas. Filled with peace, love and happiness. Jesus your birthday was awesome!
Wednesday afternoon we traveled to Longview, Tx (where my hubby is from) we had a little Christmas gathering at his brothers house (Adam) It was really nice to hang out with everyone there. Adalie is so spoiled by her uncle Adam and his wife Janice. They gave her a ga-gillon toys (yes, ga-gillon is a word, you didn't know?) Anyways, Addie really loves them as a matter of fact she often wants to call them..she doesn't say too much on the phone cause she gets shy, but she likes hearing their voice. I guess the truth is she adores all her family on Stephens side of the family. Kaci, Mimi Pawpaw Nana..everyone-- She likes mine too, but we spend way more time with my in laws since they are so much closer. My family lives almost 9 hours away so Adalie only gets to see them a couple times a year. I wish it wasn't that way, but such is life.
Christmas eve, was probably my favorite for many reasons. I enjoyed the day full of family. Stephens' other sister flew in and surprised Adalie with more gifts. By Christmas eve she had already opened her bike, clothes, shoes, babies, arts and crafts stuff and a little drum set. (Yes, she is rotten, cute..but rotten) Needless to say that house was noisy, but fun :) Around dinner time we headed over to a Chruch service with Stephens dad and all his children (including us wives) it was great. I loved the church the worship was amazing and it was just a sincere heartfelt church. The pastor and co pastor were from England so their accents rocked! I love English accents-wish I had one. Either way, once Church was over we headed home for a nice dinner, open some gifts and hang around...about 11 pm Stephens brother Adam (whom is a police officer in Longview) shared with us a story of a call he heard of. This woman in Longview had waited until the day before Christmas to go and gather gifts for her son..it was the only time she could because of the lack of money. She recieved her paycheck and went to spend her last dime on her son. When she was finsihed at one store she entered another just to come out empty handed. She had been robbed--all the gifts she had in her car for her son had been taken! Devestating ain't it? You know of allll days why do people do this on Christmas? I'm aware that Christmas isn't a jolly time for everyone, and some can't afford it so stealing is what they do--but man, that just broke my heart.
We are a pretty tight knit clan so we put our heads together and came up with an idea. We asked Adam to locate the ladies name and number we were going to surprise her with gifts for her son. We raised over 600 dollars in the matter of 20 minutes for this family. Stephens' step mom gave some food as well, Janice and Stephens' oldest sister were able to find a CVS that was open to buy some gifts cards and toys for this 5 year old boy. It was so touching I tell ya. You could feel a peace in our house that night, that God was among us.
For that is what Christmas is all about-Jesus came into this world as a gift to us because we were in need of a savior and in turn we spent our Christmas morning driving an hour to deliver a gift to a family that was also in need. Definitely not a typical Christmas morning, but oh how rewarding it was to see their faces light up. So humble and lost for words the mother of this child shyly thanked us and on our way we went.
For once in my life Christmas was meaningful, symbolic and selfless. It wasn't easy to put aside my selfish wants of Adalie waking up to opening presents, but this was worth more than that...it was about Jesus and his sacrifice...it was about his selfless actions for others in need... it was about giving. Although it was a great gift nothing can replace Jesus...we were given the best present of all, HIM.
Jesus thank you for coming into this world. Your sacrifice has saved my life, it's yours. I love you.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Scattered thoughts
...."We must obey God rather than men."--Acts 5:29
I have a problem. Maybe it's not a problem, maybe a bad habit, maybe it's not a bad habit, but am I the only person on earth that stares at someone wondering what their purpose on earth is? I don't mean that in a bad way, but sometimes I stare off into the distance looking around at all the lives that surround me and I wonder who/what they're living for? I wonder what their life is like? Then I ponder the thought..has their life turned out the way God intended, or has their life turned out the way they intended?
Maybe it is a problem, You see so many times I've ran into this. Where I think and think- I can't help it, I'm a psychologist at heart. I analyze everything...in fact, all of my upper level courses are in psychology. (They say we're the crazies because we've been brainwashed with so many theories) but I differ with that statement. I've always kept close to my Bible, but part of the reason I'm not in the counseling/psychology field is because I have issues believing some of the developmental theories I've learned in school;however, I must say there are some truths in the world of psychology.
One thing I was taught in school is the way people function. What makes them happy, sad, upset, annoyed, jealous, mad etc. This was always one of my favorite topics-why people act the way they do. And believe me during class I was like ew, yup that's me...or man, that hurts thats true, but no matter how you were raised, where you came from, what you didn't have growing up, whatever situation you find yourself in--Jesus is the answer everytime. He can heal the broken hearted, give rest to the troubled, mend pieces that have been scattered, transform a life that is doomed, and to those wanting to take their own life I cry out If you don't want your life, give it to Christ.
I hate that I think too much, but this is what I love about my blogger, I can think freely. As a matter of fact in my blogs I never know what I'm going to talk about. It is never brainstormed, caused by anything, I just write what I'm thinking at the moment. (That may have something to do with why I sometimes make no sense) nonetheless, I enjoy scattered, random, unorganized thoughts. That is unless I am working, then I kinda have to have it together for my students, but anyways..
One thing I think a lot about is that people as a whole, no matter how they were raised, where they come from, or who they know we all have one big trait in common, we all want approval. I did a study one time in school on gangs and why people turn to gangs or turn to that type of lifestyle...it was simple-approval. Or how about the young teenage girls that make themselves sick or don't finish their dinner because hollywood says you're not pretty enough if you're not a size 0?-approval. Or what about the famous "everyone is doing it, it must be ok to society?" again, approval. There is always an approval we are looking for. I know for me when I'm about to go on a date I always ask Stephen, "Hey babe, does this look ok?" I know thats not a good example, but what I'm saying is there is a level of approval we look for. I had struggled for years, but with Gods help I now feel confident knowing my only approval in life that matters is God. He stamps yes or no. I care nothing about pleasing people (in the sense that I change who I am to make them like me) I honestly do not care in no way to be popular. I wasn't always that way, but that only lead me astray from God. The bible says, bad company corupts good character and well, it has it's truth.
One of my biggest motivations in life is to live a life that is pleasing to God. Not man. For He is my greatest example. The bible says that he made Himself of "no reputation" (phillipians 2:7)That is a significant statement to me. He understood His purpose in life and lived it out to perfection regardless of who was on His side or not. That used to matter to me. I needed to have approval of friends to be a certain way, or act a certain way, but now I have freedom to shine on and live for Christ. There was a point in my life that I hid who I really was for the fear of being rejected, what an awful feeling it was, and now I get angry with myself because I think why did it matter? Seriously, why? I absolutely gained nothing but lost everything I had going for me. I think about all the lives I had an opportunity to influence, and gosh I get frustrated...buuut at least I have today. And today I can stand up proud and say, I live for Jesus.
Lord, I do not know everyones reasons for living, but you do. I do not know why life turns out great for some and unfortuante for others, but you do. My only desire today is that believers come to recognize you are the only approval they need regardless of circumstances that branched from their upbringing.. it's not hollywood, not friends, not the media, but YOU and only you Lord that really matters.
At the end of the day, I realize that living for you God is truly living.
Who stamps your approval?
I love you
Sincerely,
Your daughter
I have a problem. Maybe it's not a problem, maybe a bad habit, maybe it's not a bad habit, but am I the only person on earth that stares at someone wondering what their purpose on earth is? I don't mean that in a bad way, but sometimes I stare off into the distance looking around at all the lives that surround me and I wonder who/what they're living for? I wonder what their life is like? Then I ponder the thought..has their life turned out the way God intended, or has their life turned out the way they intended?
Maybe it is a problem, You see so many times I've ran into this. Where I think and think- I can't help it, I'm a psychologist at heart. I analyze everything...in fact, all of my upper level courses are in psychology. (They say we're the crazies because we've been brainwashed with so many theories) but I differ with that statement. I've always kept close to my Bible, but part of the reason I'm not in the counseling/psychology field is because I have issues believing some of the developmental theories I've learned in school;however, I must say there are some truths in the world of psychology.
One thing I was taught in school is the way people function. What makes them happy, sad, upset, annoyed, jealous, mad etc. This was always one of my favorite topics-why people act the way they do. And believe me during class I was like ew, yup that's me...or man, that hurts thats true, but no matter how you were raised, where you came from, what you didn't have growing up, whatever situation you find yourself in--Jesus is the answer everytime. He can heal the broken hearted, give rest to the troubled, mend pieces that have been scattered, transform a life that is doomed, and to those wanting to take their own life I cry out If you don't want your life, give it to Christ.
I hate that I think too much, but this is what I love about my blogger, I can think freely. As a matter of fact in my blogs I never know what I'm going to talk about. It is never brainstormed, caused by anything, I just write what I'm thinking at the moment. (That may have something to do with why I sometimes make no sense) nonetheless, I enjoy scattered, random, unorganized thoughts. That is unless I am working, then I kinda have to have it together for my students, but anyways..
One thing I think a lot about is that people as a whole, no matter how they were raised, where they come from, or who they know we all have one big trait in common, we all want approval. I did a study one time in school on gangs and why people turn to gangs or turn to that type of lifestyle...it was simple-approval. Or how about the young teenage girls that make themselves sick or don't finish their dinner because hollywood says you're not pretty enough if you're not a size 0?-approval. Or what about the famous "everyone is doing it, it must be ok to society?" again, approval. There is always an approval we are looking for. I know for me when I'm about to go on a date I always ask Stephen, "Hey babe, does this look ok?" I know thats not a good example, but what I'm saying is there is a level of approval we look for. I had struggled for years, but with Gods help I now feel confident knowing my only approval in life that matters is God. He stamps yes or no. I care nothing about pleasing people (in the sense that I change who I am to make them like me) I honestly do not care in no way to be popular. I wasn't always that way, but that only lead me astray from God. The bible says, bad company corupts good character and well, it has it's truth.
One of my biggest motivations in life is to live a life that is pleasing to God. Not man. For He is my greatest example. The bible says that he made Himself of "no reputation" (phillipians 2:7)That is a significant statement to me. He understood His purpose in life and lived it out to perfection regardless of who was on His side or not. That used to matter to me. I needed to have approval of friends to be a certain way, or act a certain way, but now I have freedom to shine on and live for Christ. There was a point in my life that I hid who I really was for the fear of being rejected, what an awful feeling it was, and now I get angry with myself because I think why did it matter? Seriously, why? I absolutely gained nothing but lost everything I had going for me. I think about all the lives I had an opportunity to influence, and gosh I get frustrated...buuut at least I have today. And today I can stand up proud and say, I live for Jesus.
Lord, I do not know everyones reasons for living, but you do. I do not know why life turns out great for some and unfortuante for others, but you do. My only desire today is that believers come to recognize you are the only approval they need regardless of circumstances that branched from their upbringing.. it's not hollywood, not friends, not the media, but YOU and only you Lord that really matters.
At the end of the day, I realize that living for you God is truly living.
Who stamps your approval?
I love you
Sincerely,
Your daughter
Friday, December 11, 2009
Living Life in Gods Hands
Have you ever thought about life? I'm sure you have. But what does it actually mean to live?
I have heard some famous encouraging quotes "Live life to the fullest" or "Life is what you make of it, make it beautiful" I wonder what the exact definition is or what these people actually mean because for me they mean something completely differnt. There is one thing I have learned since being out on my own and living my own life--you can TRY to live life to the fullest and you can TRY to make life beautiful, but what do you do about real life, true life, hard life or what about things that come your way that are uncontrolable. Life is not always about how you look at your circumstances, but who you trust your circumstances with...
Lord I trust your hands.
This may sound off subject but it's not. Lately, I've been meditating on Gods hands. I grew up with a Father praying, asking, pleading God "always keep your hands upon her." I ask myself all the time..what do Gods hands look like? They are probably the most beautiful hands, soft and gentle..I also think about how putting my life in Gods hands means in a sense I am living life through Christ so HE makes the best of circumstances and turns them around. HE makes life full. HE makes life beautiful for HE is my life. I am so inspired to write this because although Gods hands are invisible they are so noticable...you'll get it in a minute.
Its when life throws you a whilrwind and you don't know how to live the moment to the fullest, you see Gods hands in the mix calming the winds.
{...and I had just prayed the night before that you calm the storm}
Its when you are having a hard time preforming at work and the stress of it all, you see Gods hands making the way.
{...and as the students walked out I realized how rewarding my job is and what I mean to students}
Or its like when you hang on to your last dollar because you're scared to trust God with your finances, you see Gods hands mail you a check...
{...and I just stood at the mail box thinking how caring and trusting you are God}
All of the above is what makes my life beautiful for they are circumstances I've recently experienced;yet,have seen Gods hand.
It is HE who allows me to live my life to the fullest, because with God I will never be empty.
Lord, I have no words..honestly you prove to me time and time again just how mindful you are of me. I don't understand it and maybe I'm not suppose to, but all I can say is from the bottom of my heart I. am. thankful.
May your beautiful,loving and tender hands never leave mine. You are who I hold onto.
I love you deeply.
Your daugher Esther
I have heard some famous encouraging quotes "Live life to the fullest" or "Life is what you make of it, make it beautiful" I wonder what the exact definition is or what these people actually mean because for me they mean something completely differnt. There is one thing I have learned since being out on my own and living my own life--you can TRY to live life to the fullest and you can TRY to make life beautiful, but what do you do about real life, true life, hard life or what about things that come your way that are uncontrolable. Life is not always about how you look at your circumstances, but who you trust your circumstances with...
This may sound off subject but it's not. Lately, I've been meditating on Gods hands. I grew up with a Father praying, asking, pleading God "always keep your hands upon her." I ask myself all the time..what do Gods hands look like? They are probably the most beautiful hands, soft and gentle..I also think about how putting my life in Gods hands means in a sense I am living life through Christ so HE makes the best of circumstances and turns them around. HE makes life full. HE makes life beautiful for HE is my life. I am so inspired to write this because although Gods hands are invisible they are so noticable...you'll get it in a minute.
Its when life throws you a whilrwind and you don't know how to live the moment to the fullest, you see Gods hands in the mix calming the winds.
{...and I had just prayed the night before that you calm the storm}
Its when you are having a hard time preforming at work and the stress of it all, you see Gods hands making the way.
{...and as the students walked out I realized how rewarding my job is and what I mean to students}
Or its like when you hang on to your last dollar because you're scared to trust God with your finances, you see Gods hands mail you a check...
{...and I just stood at the mail box thinking how caring and trusting you are God}
All of the above is what makes my life beautiful for they are circumstances I've recently experienced;yet,have seen Gods hand.
It is HE who allows me to live my life to the fullest, because with God I will never be empty.
Lord, I have no words..honestly you prove to me time and time again just how mindful you are of me. I don't understand it and maybe I'm not suppose to, but all I can say is from the bottom of my heart I. am. thankful.
May your beautiful,loving and tender hands never leave mine. You are who I hold onto.
I love you deeply.
Your daugher Esther
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I choose to trust YOU.
"Be still, and know I am God.." Psalms 46:10
It all started a few months ago, when I began thinking what it would be like to hear Gods voice? What would He sound like? What would He say to me? When people say they've heard from God what did they mean exactly? Then I left the thought alone...until
This past Sunday our pastors wife sister Audra gave a sermon that stuck the very core of me. Trust was the topic. She mentioned a story of a little boy who climbed a tree or actually I can't remember what it was he climbed, but anyways lets say it was a tree. He knew his Father was at the bottom of the tree so when the boy reached the highest he could climb, he leaped out without notice. The father immediately ran and caught the boy, then he asked him "What were you thinking just jumping off like that?" The boy answered, "Well Dad, I KNEW you would catch me." Record breaking trust.
If you think about that, in comparison to our relationship with our Father, we also should have that kind of trust. But it's not always that easy, because as humans we want control of things. When we leap out in Faith how wonderful it is to KNOW that our heavenly Father is there to catch us before we fall. My problem at times is trusting to be caught. I understand this-God is able to do anything, I'm aware of that, but when I examine my life & my walk with God I notice that I pick and choose the areas in which I trust God. I ran over and over all the areas of my life that I trust him in. Future? Check. Guidance? Check. Finances? sometimes. Fear? hardly ever. You see I have this huge fear of being alone and for a long time i've prayed that God take that fear away from me. I'm a baby I know. But the crazy thing is the more I ask to help me overcome that fear the more my husband is gone from home? Seriously Lord. I'm like wait a second here. BUT I'm having to learn this is the only way I'm going to be taught how to fully rely on God--I'm tired of being worried about the things I have no control over so I made a committment on Sunday to truly hand over all my fears and worries over to the Lord. I am choosing to trust God. With all of it, I will trust in HIM.
So speaking of my husband being gone often here lately, he is actually gone tonight on a 24 hour shift. So here I go-putting my trust into practice. So far only a couple of creepy noises have psyched me out, but all is well. The Lord is my favorite companion : ) Anyways, I started thinking about Gods voice again and thought deeper into it. The way I've personally heard His voice is through music, sermons, His word, but tonight I was just laying there on my bed putting my little Adalie to sleep and I not only kept thinking about my new devoted trust in God, but why is it that I can't have my hands in what Gods doing. You see I like to have a little control of my life and surrendering that all to God is tough and as I was thinking about it God spoke to me and it's like my thoughts were no more and a verse was placed inside my mind "BE STILL, and know I am God."
I don't know how to be still number one. BUT I do know who my God is. So if I can master the first one that will be wonderful. I'm constantly going, so in a funny way it was like God said "Esther, you ADHD child of mine, whose mind runs 1,000 miles an hour be quiet for once lol, be still and hush your mush. Quit worrying so much, do what you can with the possible and trust me with the impossible."
Well at least that's what I've gotten out of it after meditating on what He could have meant. There are many areas in my life I can apply this too,(the being still part) but for tonight my mission is to be number uno-still, be worry free, and tonight I will conquer my fear of sleeping alone! I will be trusting in God to give me peaceful rest.
Lord, I love you. Forgive me for all my short comings and cleanse all my filth I carry. I pray that you help me learn to trust more and more in you each day, that whatever comes my way I may be just as quick to turn it your way. Thank you for your peace that I am feeling now. Thank you for your presence and thank you for your love.
You continue to amaze me Father.
I adore you.
Esther
It all started a few months ago, when I began thinking what it would be like to hear Gods voice? What would He sound like? What would He say to me? When people say they've heard from God what did they mean exactly? Then I left the thought alone...until
This past Sunday our pastors wife sister Audra gave a sermon that stuck the very core of me. Trust was the topic. She mentioned a story of a little boy who climbed a tree or actually I can't remember what it was he climbed, but anyways lets say it was a tree. He knew his Father was at the bottom of the tree so when the boy reached the highest he could climb, he leaped out without notice. The father immediately ran and caught the boy, then he asked him "What were you thinking just jumping off like that?" The boy answered, "Well Dad, I KNEW you would catch me." Record breaking trust.
If you think about that, in comparison to our relationship with our Father, we also should have that kind of trust. But it's not always that easy, because as humans we want control of things. When we leap out in Faith how wonderful it is to KNOW that our heavenly Father is there to catch us before we fall. My problem at times is trusting to be caught. I understand this-God is able to do anything, I'm aware of that, but when I examine my life & my walk with God I notice that I pick and choose the areas in which I trust God. I ran over and over all the areas of my life that I trust him in. Future? Check. Guidance? Check. Finances? sometimes. Fear? hardly ever. You see I have this huge fear of being alone and for a long time i've prayed that God take that fear away from me. I'm a baby I know. But the crazy thing is the more I ask to help me overcome that fear the more my husband is gone from home? Seriously Lord. I'm like wait a second here. BUT I'm having to learn this is the only way I'm going to be taught how to fully rely on God--I'm tired of being worried about the things I have no control over so I made a committment on Sunday to truly hand over all my fears and worries over to the Lord. I am choosing to trust God. With all of it, I will trust in HIM.
So speaking of my husband being gone often here lately, he is actually gone tonight on a 24 hour shift. So here I go-putting my trust into practice. So far only a couple of creepy noises have psyched me out, but all is well. The Lord is my favorite companion : ) Anyways, I started thinking about Gods voice again and thought deeper into it. The way I've personally heard His voice is through music, sermons, His word, but tonight I was just laying there on my bed putting my little Adalie to sleep and I not only kept thinking about my new devoted trust in God, but why is it that I can't have my hands in what Gods doing. You see I like to have a little control of my life and surrendering that all to God is tough and as I was thinking about it God spoke to me and it's like my thoughts were no more and a verse was placed inside my mind "BE STILL, and know I am God."
I don't know how to be still number one. BUT I do know who my God is. So if I can master the first one that will be wonderful. I'm constantly going, so in a funny way it was like God said "Esther, you ADHD child of mine, whose mind runs 1,000 miles an hour be quiet for once lol, be still and hush your mush. Quit worrying so much, do what you can with the possible and trust me with the impossible."
Well at least that's what I've gotten out of it after meditating on what He could have meant. There are many areas in my life I can apply this too,(the being still part) but for tonight my mission is to be number uno-still, be worry free, and tonight I will conquer my fear of sleeping alone! I will be trusting in God to give me peaceful rest.
Lord, I love you. Forgive me for all my short comings and cleanse all my filth I carry. I pray that you help me learn to trust more and more in you each day, that whatever comes my way I may be just as quick to turn it your way. Thank you for your peace that I am feeling now. Thank you for your presence and thank you for your love.
You continue to amaze me Father.
I adore you.
Esther
Monday, November 9, 2009
11/5 a day I'll never forget.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:15
So most of you reading this probably know the story that happened this last thursday November 5th. I'll take you back to the day from my perspective. I was sitting at my desk after returning from lunch and I noticed my phone going off my husband called me from a friends number because he had lost his phone earlier that day and as we were ending our conversation all I heard was a speedy, "Ok baby I got to go I love you bye!" and He hung up? I thought umm ok maybe he has something really important to get too and sure enough after about 30 minutes my sister text me saying "Did you hear about the shootings in Ft. Hood?" My jaw dropped and immediately I searched online for the news. Sure enough it came up that there were at least 2 gunman, 7 dead and 30 wounded. Oh my stars, I began to panic, sobbing and couldn't control my mind. I pictured my husband laying on the ground either wounded or dead. I tried to shake that out of my head, but he had lost his phone earlier that day and so getting a hold of him to confirm he was ok was impossible. I tried dialing out to call my dad (who is my Rock & Christian mentor) but I couldn't because of all the calls I was recieving from worried family and friends. I tried to gather myself, but it was the hardest thing to control. By the time I reached with my dad he had already heard the news from my siblings calling and well, in about 5 minutes calmed my raging waters, I'll never forget his words--"Esther, calm down now", he said "Do you believe in God?", "yes dad you KNOW I do!" At this point I got frustrated because I had no clue where he was going with the conversation.... "OK" he said, "Then do you believe He protects us, do you believe He covers us with his blood and He is with Stephen and this moment?"
I hesitated from holding my breathe trying to not cry.... "Yes dad I do" "And do you believe God has a plan for Stephen to work in ministry?" "Of course I do dad he was called to preach at the age of 2" I said, then Dad replies, "Then quit crying!" (lol it is funny to me now, but at that time I was like uhh rude?)
He said "Do NOT fear Esther, fear does NOT come from our God-- be strong in Jesus name!" Then he led us into a prayer to ask protection over Stephen, our friends and to prevent anymore deaths.
I tell you what it would have been nice to have talked to my dad FIRST! After freaking out on everyone else, he completely calmed me down and made me realize wait a second there is someone greater than any evil monster out there that is in control, whom shall I fear? WHAT shall I fear?
Shortly after that I heard from Stephen, and hearing his voice was the best thing that I heard that day. I love him so much. He said "Baby I'm fine, don't cry, I have a gun in my hand and promise you nothing is going to happen i'll be ok!" Well of course I believed him, but still had to say baby be careful! (it's a girl thing I guess)
If anyone knows my husband knows he is a hard charger, he would have loved to be in the middle of a fire fight because he believes in what he does! He is a warrior and sometimes I have to tell him, baby i'm not a soldier when he gets in his soldier modes lol. Nonetheless, I'm proud to say he's my personal G.I. Joe and all american Hero!
A couple hours went by and they had the gunman, (come to find out a woman cop brought him down! Woo hoo girl power all the way!!)
This trader happened to be a major in the United States Army, what a shame! He turned on his battle buddies because of his religion. I'll keep my opinion to myself on this to not offend anyone, but this man was heartless, a jerk and in my judgment used by demonic powers.
After work that day I headed to my pastors house for comfort and also because I had been locked out of my house. We only had one key at the time and it was on Stephen. Ft. Hood was locked down, no one could get in or out. Around 9 pm that night Stephen called and said his troop got tasked out to guard the crime scene, I was sooo upset. After a day like that then to sleep alone with my daughter! Ugh I couldn't believe it because I had never wanted to hold my husband and kiss him as much as I did that day. BUT I didn't get too. I slept alone and scared, it was awful. Got only 2 hours of sleep. I am very thankful to ALL my family and friends that were there for me, supporting me, sending my positive and encouraging messages, comments, texts etc. If you were one of them and are reading this I'll say it again, Thank you! You were my rock and I could not have gone through those 48 hours without you and my God.
Friday came around, same thing. Post was up and running, but Stephen was still on lockdown guarding the crime scene. (which he later told me had to sleep next to the building where all the fallen soldiers were :( poor thing I felt so horrible for him)
I missed him so much and I couldn't even go to post to see him. I constantly watched the news--in total 13 deaths and 30 wounded. (My husband talked to a witness that was there 3 people in line behind Hassan and i'll leave the stories she told him out because they make my stomach turn, It's truly a tradegy.) I am so proud of the woman cop who brought Hassan down because she prevented more deaths and wounded people. She is recovering right now and so is he. Last I heard he was off the ventilators and is breathing on his own, which is a good thing..my husband says they want him alive. Haha, hmm wonder why? Whatever they do is their business, but I plead Gods mercy on him because its not going to be pretty.
Saturday evening came around and the hubby came home! The longest 48 hours of my life! I tell you what it was such a great feeling to see his face and KNOW he was all in one piece. I love that man so much I seriously can not imagine what all these families, friends and battle buddies are going through. My heart is shattered for Ft. Hood and all those that are mourning. My prayers are constantly with them. Church service on Sunday was catering to our Veterans and those affected by this tradegy. Lots of broken hearts out there. At the same time it is amazing though to see the community rise up and be so supportive. Theres been a lot of blood donations, lots of food and voluteers helping out in Ft. Hood in anyway they can. A good thing that came out of this my husband said is though Hassan took many lives and ruffled our feathers, we are now closer than ever and more determined to fight against terrorism because that is exactly what this was. A terrorist attack.
God I do thank you for your hand of protection over Stephen and all those we know. I know that sometimes we question you on why these things happen, but ultimately God you are in control. You are all knowing, but I just ask that you give all the grieving families peace that surpasses all understanding and that you strengthen our military even more than they are. Thank you again Father for your protection and allowing us to rest assure that when we call out your name you come to where we are and you cover us under your wings. What an amazing God I serve. I love you I love you I love you. Your mercy endures forever.
So most of you reading this probably know the story that happened this last thursday November 5th. I'll take you back to the day from my perspective. I was sitting at my desk after returning from lunch and I noticed my phone going off my husband called me from a friends number because he had lost his phone earlier that day and as we were ending our conversation all I heard was a speedy, "Ok baby I got to go I love you bye!" and He hung up? I thought umm ok maybe he has something really important to get too and sure enough after about 30 minutes my sister text me saying "Did you hear about the shootings in Ft. Hood?" My jaw dropped and immediately I searched online for the news. Sure enough it came up that there were at least 2 gunman, 7 dead and 30 wounded. Oh my stars, I began to panic, sobbing and couldn't control my mind. I pictured my husband laying on the ground either wounded or dead. I tried to shake that out of my head, but he had lost his phone earlier that day and so getting a hold of him to confirm he was ok was impossible. I tried dialing out to call my dad (who is my Rock & Christian mentor) but I couldn't because of all the calls I was recieving from worried family and friends. I tried to gather myself, but it was the hardest thing to control. By the time I reached with my dad he had already heard the news from my siblings calling and well, in about 5 minutes calmed my raging waters, I'll never forget his words--"Esther, calm down now", he said "Do you believe in God?", "yes dad you KNOW I do!" At this point I got frustrated because I had no clue where he was going with the conversation.... "OK" he said, "Then do you believe He protects us, do you believe He covers us with his blood and He is with Stephen and this moment?"
I hesitated from holding my breathe trying to not cry.... "Yes dad I do" "And do you believe God has a plan for Stephen to work in ministry?" "Of course I do dad he was called to preach at the age of 2" I said, then Dad replies, "Then quit crying!" (lol it is funny to me now, but at that time I was like uhh rude?)
He said "Do NOT fear Esther, fear does NOT come from our God-- be strong in Jesus name!" Then he led us into a prayer to ask protection over Stephen, our friends and to prevent anymore deaths.
I tell you what it would have been nice to have talked to my dad FIRST! After freaking out on everyone else, he completely calmed me down and made me realize wait a second there is someone greater than any evil monster out there that is in control, whom shall I fear? WHAT shall I fear?
Shortly after that I heard from Stephen, and hearing his voice was the best thing that I heard that day. I love him so much. He said "Baby I'm fine, don't cry, I have a gun in my hand and promise you nothing is going to happen i'll be ok!" Well of course I believed him, but still had to say baby be careful! (it's a girl thing I guess)
If anyone knows my husband knows he is a hard charger, he would have loved to be in the middle of a fire fight because he believes in what he does! He is a warrior and sometimes I have to tell him, baby i'm not a soldier when he gets in his soldier modes lol. Nonetheless, I'm proud to say he's my personal G.I. Joe and all american Hero!
A couple hours went by and they had the gunman, (come to find out a woman cop brought him down! Woo hoo girl power all the way!!)
This trader happened to be a major in the United States Army, what a shame! He turned on his battle buddies because of his religion. I'll keep my opinion to myself on this to not offend anyone, but this man was heartless, a jerk and in my judgment used by demonic powers.
After work that day I headed to my pastors house for comfort and also because I had been locked out of my house. We only had one key at the time and it was on Stephen. Ft. Hood was locked down, no one could get in or out. Around 9 pm that night Stephen called and said his troop got tasked out to guard the crime scene, I was sooo upset. After a day like that then to sleep alone with my daughter! Ugh I couldn't believe it because I had never wanted to hold my husband and kiss him as much as I did that day. BUT I didn't get too. I slept alone and scared, it was awful. Got only 2 hours of sleep. I am very thankful to ALL my family and friends that were there for me, supporting me, sending my positive and encouraging messages, comments, texts etc. If you were one of them and are reading this I'll say it again, Thank you! You were my rock and I could not have gone through those 48 hours without you and my God.
Friday came around, same thing. Post was up and running, but Stephen was still on lockdown guarding the crime scene. (which he later told me had to sleep next to the building where all the fallen soldiers were :( poor thing I felt so horrible for him)
I missed him so much and I couldn't even go to post to see him. I constantly watched the news--in total 13 deaths and 30 wounded. (My husband talked to a witness that was there 3 people in line behind Hassan and i'll leave the stories she told him out because they make my stomach turn, It's truly a tradegy.) I am so proud of the woman cop who brought Hassan down because she prevented more deaths and wounded people. She is recovering right now and so is he. Last I heard he was off the ventilators and is breathing on his own, which is a good thing..my husband says they want him alive. Haha, hmm wonder why? Whatever they do is their business, but I plead Gods mercy on him because its not going to be pretty.
Saturday evening came around and the hubby came home! The longest 48 hours of my life! I tell you what it was such a great feeling to see his face and KNOW he was all in one piece. I love that man so much I seriously can not imagine what all these families, friends and battle buddies are going through. My heart is shattered for Ft. Hood and all those that are mourning. My prayers are constantly with them. Church service on Sunday was catering to our Veterans and those affected by this tradegy. Lots of broken hearts out there. At the same time it is amazing though to see the community rise up and be so supportive. Theres been a lot of blood donations, lots of food and voluteers helping out in Ft. Hood in anyway they can. A good thing that came out of this my husband said is though Hassan took many lives and ruffled our feathers, we are now closer than ever and more determined to fight against terrorism because that is exactly what this was. A terrorist attack.
God I do thank you for your hand of protection over Stephen and all those we know. I know that sometimes we question you on why these things happen, but ultimately God you are in control. You are all knowing, but I just ask that you give all the grieving families peace that surpasses all understanding and that you strengthen our military even more than they are. Thank you again Father for your protection and allowing us to rest assure that when we call out your name you come to where we are and you cover us under your wings. What an amazing God I serve. I love you I love you I love you. Your mercy endures forever.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Count your blessings.
"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the
nations what he has done." 1 Chronicles 16:8
I love this season of thankfulness that is in the air. It is Novemeber hooray! I must say with the holidays being right around the corner I love the weather it brings :-) I am so thankful for the cool weather. I like summer too mainly because we can enjoy the outdoors-hiking, swimming, playing at the park, sports, vacation etc, but there is something about being indoors with your family, watching holiday movies, eating Mommas (that's me!) homemade soup that makes me smile from ear to ear. Oh! Let's not forget the hot choclate! I love me some choclate! I know you do too ;-)
So as Thanksgiving approaches I am looking forward to many things. Number one of course is Thanksgiving Day-I love the atmosphere, the feeling of happy hearts and of course the food, ha. Anyone who knows me knows I love to eat. I've recently started this diet (not like a crazy one where I quit eating meat or anything) I just want to be toned :-) nothing wrong with that right? BUT whats killing me is not drinking my calories! I love Dr.Pepper and love sweet tea, not gonna lie I cheat...umm...a lot haha (what? Just being honest) But seriously it's the hardest thing ever. I can do without my donuts, breakfast burritos, white bread and everything I read I'm not suppose to eat a lot of, but asking me to not drink my sweet tea or soda is like asking me not to breathe! Haha, no it's not that bad, but you get my point. ITS HARD. My husband is a great help. He supports me and gets onto me when he sees me eating something I'm not suppose to. Like the other morning I woke up and for some reason Adalie was eating Doritos in bed the night before, and well I woke up and saw the bag...well I just grabbed one thought eh, I'll just have one, but then one turned into 2 and 2 turned into 10. Stephen was like, "Baby seriously it's 8 am?!" and there I am right about to put another chip it my mouth...talk about ruining my breakfast haha- but anyways I like that he holds me accountable for little things like that. He's so wonderful.
Wow, I got way off subject-reason behind all that was to say my hard work will pay off cause on that wonderful Thanksgiving Day I'm gonna dig into my dinner by golly! haha, I'm sick of small meals, bring on that turkey, mashed tators, stuffing, biscuits, and all the rest of the goods! Man I'm making myself hungry. There is one sad thing about the holidays, Thanksgiving & Christmas are a burden to many families that don't have what some people take for granted. I am one of those people that are so thankful that in prayer I thank God for our cars, our health, for having all my limbs etc..think i'm crazy? You take away a hand and see if you don't wish you had it back. I value the small things because i've experienced loss in my life. I know what it's like to have something and not value it, then next thing I know it's gone and I'm kicking myself for having taken it for granted. I'm still guilty in some areas because i'm not perfect, but the point of my love note today is to encourage us all to be thankful at all times, in all areas, and for all things God has blessed us with. My heart breaks for those who aren't able to provide a nice meal for their families on Thanksgiving or give their children, family or friends a gift for Christmas, even though that it not what Christmas is about I know society has made it seem that way and it affects people. I'm thankful for food drives, I'm thankful for volunteers who will feed the homeless and sacrifice their day to love on the unfortunate. Talk about showing the love of Christ. I want to be apart of that one year.
Lets all strive to be thankful for everything in our lives from here on out i'm going to dedicate myself even more to appreciate it all. Good and bad-God is good and turns what the devil meant for bad into good, so yes I am thankful for the hard times. Glory to my King Jesus.
Lord, above everything I am beyond thankful for your mercy, your grace & your undying love-I am thankful for what you did at Calvary even though it breaks my heart to know what you went through for your people I am thankful because one day I'll be able to see your beautiful splendor. God I'm so very thankful for all you've done for me and my family whether it was big or small, I am thankful because it is YOU who gives us life, health, success, financial freedom and joy! I love you Father, forever and ever.
nations what he has done." 1 Chronicles 16:8
I love this season of thankfulness that is in the air. It is Novemeber hooray! I must say with the holidays being right around the corner I love the weather it brings :-) I am so thankful for the cool weather. I like summer too mainly because we can enjoy the outdoors-hiking, swimming, playing at the park, sports, vacation etc, but there is something about being indoors with your family, watching holiday movies, eating Mommas (that's me!) homemade soup that makes me smile from ear to ear. Oh! Let's not forget the hot choclate! I love me some choclate! I know you do too ;-)
So as Thanksgiving approaches I am looking forward to many things. Number one of course is Thanksgiving Day-I love the atmosphere, the feeling of happy hearts and of course the food, ha. Anyone who knows me knows I love to eat. I've recently started this diet (not like a crazy one where I quit eating meat or anything) I just want to be toned :-) nothing wrong with that right? BUT whats killing me is not drinking my calories! I love Dr.Pepper and love sweet tea, not gonna lie I cheat...umm...a lot haha (what? Just being honest) But seriously it's the hardest thing ever. I can do without my donuts, breakfast burritos, white bread and everything I read I'm not suppose to eat a lot of, but asking me to not drink my sweet tea or soda is like asking me not to breathe! Haha, no it's not that bad, but you get my point. ITS HARD. My husband is a great help. He supports me and gets onto me when he sees me eating something I'm not suppose to. Like the other morning I woke up and for some reason Adalie was eating Doritos in bed the night before, and well I woke up and saw the bag...well I just grabbed one thought eh, I'll just have one, but then one turned into 2 and 2 turned into 10. Stephen was like, "Baby seriously it's 8 am?!" and there I am right about to put another chip it my mouth...talk about ruining my breakfast haha- but anyways I like that he holds me accountable for little things like that. He's so wonderful.
Wow, I got way off subject-reason behind all that was to say my hard work will pay off cause on that wonderful Thanksgiving Day I'm gonna dig into my dinner by golly! haha, I'm sick of small meals, bring on that turkey, mashed tators, stuffing, biscuits, and all the rest of the goods! Man I'm making myself hungry. There is one sad thing about the holidays, Thanksgiving & Christmas are a burden to many families that don't have what some people take for granted. I am one of those people that are so thankful that in prayer I thank God for our cars, our health, for having all my limbs etc..think i'm crazy? You take away a hand and see if you don't wish you had it back. I value the small things because i've experienced loss in my life. I know what it's like to have something and not value it, then next thing I know it's gone and I'm kicking myself for having taken it for granted. I'm still guilty in some areas because i'm not perfect, but the point of my love note today is to encourage us all to be thankful at all times, in all areas, and for all things God has blessed us with. My heart breaks for those who aren't able to provide a nice meal for their families on Thanksgiving or give their children, family or friends a gift for Christmas, even though that it not what Christmas is about I know society has made it seem that way and it affects people. I'm thankful for food drives, I'm thankful for volunteers who will feed the homeless and sacrifice their day to love on the unfortunate. Talk about showing the love of Christ. I want to be apart of that one year.
Lets all strive to be thankful for everything in our lives from here on out i'm going to dedicate myself even more to appreciate it all. Good and bad-God is good and turns what the devil meant for bad into good, so yes I am thankful for the hard times. Glory to my King Jesus.
Lord, above everything I am beyond thankful for your mercy, your grace & your undying love-I am thankful for what you did at Calvary even though it breaks my heart to know what you went through for your people I am thankful because one day I'll be able to see your beautiful splendor. God I'm so very thankful for all you've done for me and my family whether it was big or small, I am thankful because it is YOU who gives us life, health, success, financial freedom and joy! I love you Father, forever and ever.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Shake if off
**Just for you Eloise**
"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross"...Hebrews 12:1&2
I read a story one time about a farmer's donkey that fell into a dry well-it has become my favorite story ever since. So this donkey fell into this well and cried pitifully for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do for his poor donkey. Finally, he concluded that the well was too deep, and it really needed to be covered up anyway. Besides, the donkey was old, and it would be a lot of trouble to get him out of the pit. The farmer decided that it was not worth trying to retrieve the animal, so he asked his neighbors to help him fill in the well and bury the donkey.
They all grabbed shovels and began to toss dirt into the well. The donkey immediately realized what was happening, and he began to bray horribly. Crying would be our normal response if somebody was mistreating us this badly, or giving up on us, so this donkey was responding the same way we would at first, but then he got real quiet. A few shovel loads of dirt later, the farmer looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit the donkey's back, the donkey would shake it off and step on top of it! As the neighbors and the farmer continued to shovel dirt on top of the donkey, he continued to shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon the donkey shook off the last shovel full of dirt, took a step up and walked right out of the well! I can't even tell you how much this story has impacted me... I know that we can all learn from this... When trouble comes our way, if we can learn to get still and listen to Gods voice, He will tell us what to do.
By the grace and mercy of God, I have been able to shake off a lot of things in my life that have brought me hurt, pain, suffering, tears etc. Before my relationship matured in Christ-I wasn't able to do this. My strength has come from God and Him alone. When I was younger and not as close to God-I'd sit in my saddness, in my troubled situation and feel hopeless-but God time and time again extended His hand, picked me up, set my feet on solid ground and now I'm forever changed. Lord, thank you for the hard times. Thank you for molding me and stretching my faith, I am grateful that with you by my side I can shake off anything that comes my way!! In Jesus powerful, awesome, glorious name-Amen and amen. I love you.
"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross"...Hebrews 12:1&2
I read a story one time about a farmer's donkey that fell into a dry well-it has become my favorite story ever since. So this donkey fell into this well and cried pitifully for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do for his poor donkey. Finally, he concluded that the well was too deep, and it really needed to be covered up anyway. Besides, the donkey was old, and it would be a lot of trouble to get him out of the pit. The farmer decided that it was not worth trying to retrieve the animal, so he asked his neighbors to help him fill in the well and bury the donkey.
They all grabbed shovels and began to toss dirt into the well. The donkey immediately realized what was happening, and he began to bray horribly. Crying would be our normal response if somebody was mistreating us this badly, or giving up on us, so this donkey was responding the same way we would at first, but then he got real quiet. A few shovel loads of dirt later, the farmer looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit the donkey's back, the donkey would shake it off and step on top of it! As the neighbors and the farmer continued to shovel dirt on top of the donkey, he continued to shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon the donkey shook off the last shovel full of dirt, took a step up and walked right out of the well! I can't even tell you how much this story has impacted me... I know that we can all learn from this... When trouble comes our way, if we can learn to get still and listen to Gods voice, He will tell us what to do.
By the grace and mercy of God, I have been able to shake off a lot of things in my life that have brought me hurt, pain, suffering, tears etc. Before my relationship matured in Christ-I wasn't able to do this. My strength has come from God and Him alone. When I was younger and not as close to God-I'd sit in my saddness, in my troubled situation and feel hopeless-but God time and time again extended His hand, picked me up, set my feet on solid ground and now I'm forever changed. Lord, thank you for the hard times. Thank you for molding me and stretching my faith, I am grateful that with you by my side I can shake off anything that comes my way!! In Jesus powerful, awesome, glorious name-Amen and amen. I love you.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
When we are weak HE is strong.
"He heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds." Psalm 147:3
"So don't worry, because I am with you. Don't be afraid, because I AM your God. I will make you strong and will help you; I will support you with my right hand that saves you." Isaiah 41:10
Deep down in my spirit I'm bothered. I've always had a burden for children, but here lately it's almost like unbearable I almost feel like I need to do something, but I ask myself what? It is beyond my ability to save every child that is or has been harmed, abused, or hurt. I watch the news and all it does is break my heart. There is without a doubt always a story or something terrible that has happened to a child. WHY? I look at my daughter every day and think who would want to hurt such a precious baby? I just don't understand...
Lord, you know how heavy my heart is. God- I don't understand so much that goes on in this world and maybe I'm not suppose to know everything, but I just pray your protection over every child in the universe as far as east to west north to south, send your angels concerning all of them God, they are so innocent, please cover them under your wings. This is my greatest desire.
It's been raining the last couple days. I love the rain, but only if I can stay in bed :) There is a strange thing about rain and what it does to me-I don't know why, but it has a way of making me sit and think. I get sleepy too, but I think and think so much when the weather is cloudy, gloomy or stormy. I naturally think 100 miles an hour as it is, but the rain makes me examine myself-makes me think about life, people, family, friends and where I'm headed in this life. Most of all-It makes me want Gods annointing to rain on me spiritually. I am so hungry for the Lord, I am never satisified. I guess that's a good problem to have, Jesus I love you.
During my break yesterday, I was lost in thought thinking I need to be more motivated during the challenging times when I'm burdened up to my neck because I never know when my words, my actions, or simply anything I do could be a turning point for someone around me. I like to post verses on my status's in Facebook or myspace as often as possible because I will never know if that is the only time people see any part of Gods word. What if someone stumbled across your personal belongings and found a verse or found something that impacted them, wouldn't it be amazing to stand before God at the end of your life and Him say, "Because of your small efforts, you created big results." and then He takes you by the hand to see the life that was changed because of Him of course, but also because of your obedient heart-Oh my stars, that blows my mind. This thought makes me refocus on my purpose on earth. It is to solely live for God, if I can do that then peace, happiness, joy, etc will surround me for He IS those things and so much more.
I am so excited about this Sunday! It will be my first day to be the new Sunday school teacher at my home Church (Christ the Rock) for 5th & 6th graders. Lord you know my hearts desires, My prayers are to make a difference in as many lives as possible, to reach out to these kids in sunday school, or even out in the community, to be a leader, to love them, to praise them when they do small things-big things-good things. I am so full of love for children I really do feel working in Childrens ministry is right where I need to be.
Lord, above all, thank you for the opportunity. Thank you that when I am weak you remain strong, YOU give me strength. Thank you for knowing me by name! Wow, who I am Lord that you would have a care in the world about me? BUT yet you do God, you are amazing, beyond words to describe- You guide me, protect me, you love me, you give me all that I need-I am forever grateful and in debt to you God. Anything I do, and everything I am may it be for your Glory. I love you Father. You are beautiful.
"So don't worry, because I am with you. Don't be afraid, because I AM your God. I will make you strong and will help you; I will support you with my right hand that saves you." Isaiah 41:10
Deep down in my spirit I'm bothered. I've always had a burden for children, but here lately it's almost like unbearable I almost feel like I need to do something, but I ask myself what? It is beyond my ability to save every child that is or has been harmed, abused, or hurt. I watch the news and all it does is break my heart. There is without a doubt always a story or something terrible that has happened to a child. WHY? I look at my daughter every day and think who would want to hurt such a precious baby? I just don't understand...
Lord, you know how heavy my heart is. God- I don't understand so much that goes on in this world and maybe I'm not suppose to know everything, but I just pray your protection over every child in the universe as far as east to west north to south, send your angels concerning all of them God, they are so innocent, please cover them under your wings. This is my greatest desire.
It's been raining the last couple days. I love the rain, but only if I can stay in bed :) There is a strange thing about rain and what it does to me-I don't know why, but it has a way of making me sit and think. I get sleepy too, but I think and think so much when the weather is cloudy, gloomy or stormy. I naturally think 100 miles an hour as it is, but the rain makes me examine myself-makes me think about life, people, family, friends and where I'm headed in this life. Most of all-It makes me want Gods annointing to rain on me spiritually. I am so hungry for the Lord, I am never satisified. I guess that's a good problem to have, Jesus I love you.
During my break yesterday, I was lost in thought thinking I need to be more motivated during the challenging times when I'm burdened up to my neck because I never know when my words, my actions, or simply anything I do could be a turning point for someone around me. I like to post verses on my status's in Facebook or myspace as often as possible because I will never know if that is the only time people see any part of Gods word. What if someone stumbled across your personal belongings and found a verse or found something that impacted them, wouldn't it be amazing to stand before God at the end of your life and Him say, "Because of your small efforts, you created big results." and then He takes you by the hand to see the life that was changed because of Him of course, but also because of your obedient heart-Oh my stars, that blows my mind. This thought makes me refocus on my purpose on earth. It is to solely live for God, if I can do that then peace, happiness, joy, etc will surround me for He IS those things and so much more.
I am so excited about this Sunday! It will be my first day to be the new Sunday school teacher at my home Church (Christ the Rock) for 5th & 6th graders. Lord you know my hearts desires, My prayers are to make a difference in as many lives as possible, to reach out to these kids in sunday school, or even out in the community, to be a leader, to love them, to praise them when they do small things-big things-good things. I am so full of love for children I really do feel working in Childrens ministry is right where I need to be.
Lord, above all, thank you for the opportunity. Thank you that when I am weak you remain strong, YOU give me strength. Thank you for knowing me by name! Wow, who I am Lord that you would have a care in the world about me? BUT yet you do God, you are amazing, beyond words to describe- You guide me, protect me, you love me, you give me all that I need-I am forever grateful and in debt to you God. Anything I do, and everything I am may it be for your Glory. I love you Father. You are beautiful.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
God gives us divine appointments
"God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So always do these things: Show mercy to others, be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Get along with eachother, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. Do all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity. Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking, because you were all called together in one body to have peace. Always be thankful. Let the teaching of Christ live in you richly. Use all wisdom to teach and instruct each other by singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Everything you do or say should be done to obey Jesus your Lord. And in all you do, give thanks to God the Father, through Jesus." Colossians 3:12-17
What a beautiful morning God has given us today. These last couple weeks the tempature has really dropped, but today when I walked outside-it was just perfect. I am looking forward to taking Adalie to a pumpkin patch this weekend. I was worried about it being too cold, but a long sleeve T-shirt will be just fine. I'll make sure to take pictures and start posting them now that i've learned how to :) (Thanks Sister Teresa)
My work week flew by! I have had the best week at work so far. God is so wonderful and my successes are because of HIM. Yesterday I was sitting at my desk when the front office called me to greet a potential student that had just walked in. As I approached Miss Martha-she was about 55 years young :) very quiet, a little shy, but there was a gentleness about her-I can't explain it. I brought her into one of our interview rooms and she began to tell me about herself where she lived, where she moved from etc. She was so softspoken and honestly nothing about her at this point screamed "I'm in need of financial help" but yet, I sensed a financial burden, a broken heart, a desperate need of a blessing I can't explain the feeling I had. We hadn't spoke about any finances at this point but I was feeling God speak to me that whether I could enroll this student or not-I needed to help her in one way or another. I spoke back to the Lord and said "How God?" but there was no reply.
My mentor Regina came into the interview room with me when Miss Martha began ask about pricing. I started listening even closer. As she told her story of struggling the last few years I noticed she played with her hands a lot. Well that brought my eyes to see her nails weren't well taken care of and it was almost like she read my mind-as soon as I noticed her nails she looked at both Regina and I and said, "I don't even have the money to take care of my nails." I looked away immediately.
The reason Regina had come into the room was because I'm a Business and Techology enrollment counselor and Regina does Healthcare and Education. Miss Martha happened to want education information, so technically I didn't have to stay in the meeting; yet, she interested me so much I could not leave the room. She bgan telling us more about her struggles and I rememebered Gods voice-"in one way or another, help her." I thought well the meeting is almost over, I'll just run get my pursue then I'll write her a check?...But then I thought.. No that could make her feel a little embarrassed and before I could think any further my mouth opened and I said, "What are you doing after this?" Miss Martha looked at me so humbly and before she could answer I quickly said, "There is a nail salon next door I would like to pay for you to get your nails done." Miss Martha began to rejoice and praise God right there in the open in front of both Regina and I. There was no shame in what she was doing and did not care where she stood-the tears burst out of her eyes and of course at this point tears are rushing out of my eyes. I felt the joy she had-I felt her spirits being lifted and even if it was just a small thing I did-SHE felt God moving in her life and that above all was most important. God meant for Miss Martha and I to meet that day. It was a divine appointment scheduled from God so that Miss Martha could get encouraged again. I felt so great as I walked with Miss Martha down to the nail salon because she had allowed me to bless her but more than that-she had been such a blessing to me. As we arrived at the nail salon I told the guy at the register that I wanted to pay for whatever Miss Martha asked. She gave her request and I more than gladly paid. Miss Martha was glowing smiling ear to ear-looking around like she couldn't believe she was there-My heart was rejoicing with her more than she'll ever know. I turned to say goodbye to her and her sweet voice whispered in my ear as she held me-"May God bless you abundantly child. I'm going to tell everyone about you and what you've done." I gave her a smile, thanked her and before I walked out she asked, "One last thing what was your name?" "Esther", I replied-"Well what beautiful name" she said-with that I smiled, told her to have a wonderful day and walked out for lunch.
It was almost as if I were a child in a playground I wanted to skip along to my car I was so happy. My heart was doing sumersaults and I was just so joyful in the Lord. I'll never forget my divine appointment with Miss Martha.
Father keep your hand upon Miss Martha. Thank you for the opportunity to meet this servant of yours. She showed the fruits you speak of-your presence is so apparent in her life God. I wish to be as a quality of a Christian as Miss Martha is. The way she rejoiced in you Father showed me her dedication to you-that no matter where she is, Miss Martha stands for you. Bless her Lord, spiritually, financially, in any way she is praying to be blessed, bless her. In Jesus wonderful, mighty, and gracious name! Amen, and amen. Glory to you Father, have it all.
I love you.
What a beautiful morning God has given us today. These last couple weeks the tempature has really dropped, but today when I walked outside-it was just perfect. I am looking forward to taking Adalie to a pumpkin patch this weekend. I was worried about it being too cold, but a long sleeve T-shirt will be just fine. I'll make sure to take pictures and start posting them now that i've learned how to :) (Thanks Sister Teresa)
My work week flew by! I have had the best week at work so far. God is so wonderful and my successes are because of HIM. Yesterday I was sitting at my desk when the front office called me to greet a potential student that had just walked in. As I approached Miss Martha-she was about 55 years young :) very quiet, a little shy, but there was a gentleness about her-I can't explain it. I brought her into one of our interview rooms and she began to tell me about herself where she lived, where she moved from etc. She was so softspoken and honestly nothing about her at this point screamed "I'm in need of financial help" but yet, I sensed a financial burden, a broken heart, a desperate need of a blessing I can't explain the feeling I had. We hadn't spoke about any finances at this point but I was feeling God speak to me that whether I could enroll this student or not-I needed to help her in one way or another. I spoke back to the Lord and said "How God?" but there was no reply.
My mentor Regina came into the interview room with me when Miss Martha began ask about pricing. I started listening even closer. As she told her story of struggling the last few years I noticed she played with her hands a lot. Well that brought my eyes to see her nails weren't well taken care of and it was almost like she read my mind-as soon as I noticed her nails she looked at both Regina and I and said, "I don't even have the money to take care of my nails." I looked away immediately.
The reason Regina had come into the room was because I'm a Business and Techology enrollment counselor and Regina does Healthcare and Education. Miss Martha happened to want education information, so technically I didn't have to stay in the meeting; yet, she interested me so much I could not leave the room. She bgan telling us more about her struggles and I rememebered Gods voice-"in one way or another, help her." I thought well the meeting is almost over, I'll just run get my pursue then I'll write her a check?...But then I thought.. No that could make her feel a little embarrassed and before I could think any further my mouth opened and I said, "What are you doing after this?" Miss Martha looked at me so humbly and before she could answer I quickly said, "There is a nail salon next door I would like to pay for you to get your nails done." Miss Martha began to rejoice and praise God right there in the open in front of both Regina and I. There was no shame in what she was doing and did not care where she stood-the tears burst out of her eyes and of course at this point tears are rushing out of my eyes. I felt the joy she had-I felt her spirits being lifted and even if it was just a small thing I did-SHE felt God moving in her life and that above all was most important. God meant for Miss Martha and I to meet that day. It was a divine appointment scheduled from God so that Miss Martha could get encouraged again. I felt so great as I walked with Miss Martha down to the nail salon because she had allowed me to bless her but more than that-she had been such a blessing to me. As we arrived at the nail salon I told the guy at the register that I wanted to pay for whatever Miss Martha asked. She gave her request and I more than gladly paid. Miss Martha was glowing smiling ear to ear-looking around like she couldn't believe she was there-My heart was rejoicing with her more than she'll ever know. I turned to say goodbye to her and her sweet voice whispered in my ear as she held me-"May God bless you abundantly child. I'm going to tell everyone about you and what you've done." I gave her a smile, thanked her and before I walked out she asked, "One last thing what was your name?" "Esther", I replied-"Well what beautiful name" she said-with that I smiled, told her to have a wonderful day and walked out for lunch.
It was almost as if I were a child in a playground I wanted to skip along to my car I was so happy. My heart was doing sumersaults and I was just so joyful in the Lord. I'll never forget my divine appointment with Miss Martha.
Father keep your hand upon Miss Martha. Thank you for the opportunity to meet this servant of yours. She showed the fruits you speak of-your presence is so apparent in her life God. I wish to be as a quality of a Christian as Miss Martha is. The way she rejoiced in you Father showed me her dedication to you-that no matter where she is, Miss Martha stands for you. Bless her Lord, spiritually, financially, in any way she is praying to be blessed, bless her. In Jesus wonderful, mighty, and gracious name! Amen, and amen. Glory to you Father, have it all.
I love you.
Monday, October 12, 2009
What fruit are you producing?
God, I am so thankful for your word this morning. I'm thankful that you gave us your word to give us direction, find answers, remind us of our promises in you and learn your likes and dislikes. If there is anything I want in my life, it is to please you Lord. With everything I am, you know my hearts desires-I want to exalt YOU, lift YOUR name on high, and bring honor&glory to YOU. Empty all that I am, and fill me with everything you are. Jesus, I want to be just like you.
My goodness this weather is making me so sleepy. I woke up this morning and could barely see 5 ft in front of me, the fog was so thick. All weekend long it was drizzling, cloudy, and wet. Oh and cold! I do love the fall weather, I enjoy it being cool, but when it's cold..brrr just thinking about it makes me cold ha, I want to stay home, in bed with my sweats on or on the couch-have hot chocolate in my hand, cuddled with my husband watching a romantic comedy <3
Why do weekends go by so fast? My mother in law was here for the weekend and we had a great time :) When I got off work Friday night she was already home. The hubby grilled Steak, I cooked homemade mashed tators and veggies, it was delish :)- Saturday we took momma in law out to eat for lunch then went shopping for a Princess Party we were invitied to on Adalie's behalf. A sister from Church was celebrating her twins 4th birthday Princess style. We had a great time regardless of how cold I thought Adalie was. I kept chasing her around pulling her hoodie on her and Stephen was like "baby she's fiiineee!" I'm like "What? No she's not she's cold"-then we'd turn around and Adalie would be giggling, laughing, playing all over the place haha, I'm so protective with my little girl, but oh well at least I take good care of my muffin :)
Church on Sunday was such a powerful service from beginning to end. The music was on point, and not because my husband is on the worship team, but because Miss Audra has such a gift in leading us into Gods presence. She was so annointed you could feel Gods presence surrounding her as she sang to Him. I called it a mini "Hillsong Concert" ha-then following such an great worship, Pastor led us into the Word. And this is what he preached on. Galatians 5:16-25
16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
Pastor made a great example when he said some of us can't bear any fruit because our branches were dead. He said, we needed God to come in and restore that which was dead lest God take out the WHOLE tree and throw the tree in the fire. It's symbolic of course-we represent the tree. We are to the ones who bear the fruits in which we are called to. Love, peace, patience (that one I definitely need work on) and etc. I believe when we truly empty all we are and make our bodies Gods dwelling place-our outter doings will represent Christ. We should show forth the fruit that God has planted and rooted deep inside us. Pastor made an awesome point, He said "So many people call themselves Christians but their actions are not Christlike." He's right-what we say, what we do everything we are should represent Christ better yet should be like Christ. Pastor said, you want to know if a person is Christian or not listen to how they talk, listen to what they like to talk about watch how they carry themselves etc, because it's true- when you are so deep into God what is really dwelling inside of you, will speak, it will show.
One thing I look for in Pastors is what they preach, and my favorite thing about my Pastor is he preaches truth. I have noticed myself growing in Christ more and more since being taken under his wing so I'm very thankful we found Christ the Rock Church. Pastor if you're reading this, We love you very much and may God continue to use you for His Glory. You bless more people than you realize. We are so fortuante to have you as our Pastor.
Lord, you are everything I need, I love you but of course you already know that :)
Your daughter,
Est
P.s. Help me stay awake at work today! :)-
My goodness this weather is making me so sleepy. I woke up this morning and could barely see 5 ft in front of me, the fog was so thick. All weekend long it was drizzling, cloudy, and wet. Oh and cold! I do love the fall weather, I enjoy it being cool, but when it's cold..brrr just thinking about it makes me cold ha, I want to stay home, in bed with my sweats on or on the couch-have hot chocolate in my hand, cuddled with my husband watching a romantic comedy <3
Why do weekends go by so fast? My mother in law was here for the weekend and we had a great time :) When I got off work Friday night she was already home. The hubby grilled Steak, I cooked homemade mashed tators and veggies, it was delish :)- Saturday we took momma in law out to eat for lunch then went shopping for a Princess Party we were invitied to on Adalie's behalf. A sister from Church was celebrating her twins 4th birthday Princess style. We had a great time regardless of how cold I thought Adalie was. I kept chasing her around pulling her hoodie on her and Stephen was like "baby she's fiiineee!" I'm like "What? No she's not she's cold"-then we'd turn around and Adalie would be giggling, laughing, playing all over the place haha, I'm so protective with my little girl, but oh well at least I take good care of my muffin :)
Church on Sunday was such a powerful service from beginning to end. The music was on point, and not because my husband is on the worship team, but because Miss Audra has such a gift in leading us into Gods presence. She was so annointed you could feel Gods presence surrounding her as she sang to Him. I called it a mini "Hillsong Concert" ha-then following such an great worship, Pastor led us into the Word. And this is what he preached on. Galatians 5:16-25
16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
Pastor made a great example when he said some of us can't bear any fruit because our branches were dead. He said, we needed God to come in and restore that which was dead lest God take out the WHOLE tree and throw the tree in the fire. It's symbolic of course-we represent the tree. We are to the ones who bear the fruits in which we are called to. Love, peace, patience (that one I definitely need work on) and etc. I believe when we truly empty all we are and make our bodies Gods dwelling place-our outter doings will represent Christ. We should show forth the fruit that God has planted and rooted deep inside us. Pastor made an awesome point, He said "So many people call themselves Christians but their actions are not Christlike." He's right-what we say, what we do everything we are should represent Christ better yet should be like Christ. Pastor said, you want to know if a person is Christian or not listen to how they talk, listen to what they like to talk about watch how they carry themselves etc, because it's true- when you are so deep into God what is really dwelling inside of you, will speak, it will show.
One thing I look for in Pastors is what they preach, and my favorite thing about my Pastor is he preaches truth. I have noticed myself growing in Christ more and more since being taken under his wing so I'm very thankful we found Christ the Rock Church. Pastor if you're reading this, We love you very much and may God continue to use you for His Glory. You bless more people than you realize. We are so fortuante to have you as our Pastor.
Lord, you are everything I need, I love you but of course you already know that :)
Your daughter,
Est
P.s. Help me stay awake at work today! :)-
Friday, October 9, 2009
You are made to be a blessing.
This week has definitely been a rollercoaster. Some highs, some lows. Overall, I am complete in Christ and for that I am thankful that even when the low times roll around, HE has me in the palm of His hand and reminds me of His promises in my life.
It's not always easy to be working as a servant for the Lord. I mentioned to my husband a while back that even though i'm not working out of the Church in ministry just yet ;) , I am still ministering to lives and encouraging those around me to follow Christ. When God sees a willing heart, He uses you.
I've had many burdens on my heart lately from people calling/talking to me about not knowing what to do in their paticular situation; yet, they come to me for guidance. I'm so blessed with the opportunity to be able to help a person find their joy in life or a way out, but sometimes when God calls me to work for His Kingdom I feel like it's when I need a pat on the back, someones asking me to pat theirs. When I need a hug someones asking me to hug them, when I need to be encouraged, someone is asking me to lift them up-that's ministry to the T. It's exhausting, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so thankful that when i'm at my lowest points in life, when i'm tired or weary Christ challenges me. Someone might say that's crazy to be thankful for that, but God stretches my faith, He squeezes more out of me when I don't think I have anything left He proves it is HE who works through me cause if it was my works I'd accomplish nothing and give up long before Christ ever would. Glory to you Father, you are so worthy of my praise.
God also reminds me," Esther, You were made to be a blessing." And if that is my only purpose in life, then I gladly accept it.
Genesis 12:2 says," I will bless you with abundant increase of favors and you will be a blessing dispensing good to others." Everytime you think anything good about anyone verbalize it-Joyce Meyer. I like that quote from Joyce because it is true, our thoughts have power and may affect others' confidence level in a minor way, but our words can really lift them up and encourage them. All people need affirmation especially those who have been emotionally wounded or hurt by someone. A very close sister in Christ has been battling with this very exact thing. She opened up to me recently and with positive words, encouraging words, and God's words spoken through me have helped deal with her burdens. God is so good, I tell ya. He moves in situations by what we speak. I encourage everyone to remind themselves what God says to me"YOU are made to be a blessing." Bless those around you with something small, something big, a few nice words, a friendly smile, more importantly show God's love. You'll never know how your words can change lives, break chains, move mountains, and break strong holds until you speak them, *In Jesus mighty name of course*
So Father, I thank you, I thank you for all the above, I thank you for living in me, for trusting me to work for you, and for loving me the way you do. Just as you speak encouraging words to me, help me continue to speak encouraging words to those around me. Help us all remember we are made to be a blessing.
I love you Jesus,
Esther
It's not always easy to be working as a servant for the Lord. I mentioned to my husband a while back that even though i'm not working out of the Church in ministry just yet ;) , I am still ministering to lives and encouraging those around me to follow Christ. When God sees a willing heart, He uses you.
I've had many burdens on my heart lately from people calling/talking to me about not knowing what to do in their paticular situation; yet, they come to me for guidance. I'm so blessed with the opportunity to be able to help a person find their joy in life or a way out, but sometimes when God calls me to work for His Kingdom I feel like it's when I need a pat on the back, someones asking me to pat theirs. When I need a hug someones asking me to hug them, when I need to be encouraged, someone is asking me to lift them up-that's ministry to the T. It's exhausting, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so thankful that when i'm at my lowest points in life, when i'm tired or weary Christ challenges me. Someone might say that's crazy to be thankful for that, but God stretches my faith, He squeezes more out of me when I don't think I have anything left He proves it is HE who works through me cause if it was my works I'd accomplish nothing and give up long before Christ ever would. Glory to you Father, you are so worthy of my praise.
God also reminds me," Esther, You were made to be a blessing." And if that is my only purpose in life, then I gladly accept it.
Genesis 12:2 says," I will bless you with abundant increase of favors and you will be a blessing dispensing good to others." Everytime you think anything good about anyone verbalize it-Joyce Meyer. I like that quote from Joyce because it is true, our thoughts have power and may affect others' confidence level in a minor way, but our words can really lift them up and encourage them. All people need affirmation especially those who have been emotionally wounded or hurt by someone. A very close sister in Christ has been battling with this very exact thing. She opened up to me recently and with positive words, encouraging words, and God's words spoken through me have helped deal with her burdens. God is so good, I tell ya. He moves in situations by what we speak. I encourage everyone to remind themselves what God says to me"YOU are made to be a blessing." Bless those around you with something small, something big, a few nice words, a friendly smile, more importantly show God's love. You'll never know how your words can change lives, break chains, move mountains, and break strong holds until you speak them, *In Jesus mighty name of course*
So Father, I thank you, I thank you for all the above, I thank you for living in me, for trusting me to work for you, and for loving me the way you do. Just as you speak encouraging words to me, help me continue to speak encouraging words to those around me. Help us all remember we are made to be a blessing.
I love you Jesus,
Esther
Monday, October 5, 2009
3 years ago today....
I gave my heart away and said, "I do" to my one true love, Stephen Daniel Vanover. God, thank you for putting Stephen in my life. Thank you for the night he came across my path, thank you for being the center of our relationship, and thank you for giving us the opportunity to be parents to Adalie.
So I know you are all dying to to hear about the weekend, (got some impatient texts this weekend ha,) BUT I wanna go back to the day I met him.
Back in 2006 I was working as a waitress at the Olive Garden. I was moments from leaving when I reached inside my pocket to count my money for the evening. I had made a lot less than normal so I had asked my manager if he would please give me ONE more table to work. He said that was fine and then next thing I know the most beautiful person i've ever seen is sitting in my section. He was my ONE last table <3
Immediately I got nervous lol-to this day I know exactly what he was wearing & I think what did it was his little Yankee baseball cap ;) He looked so cute! I was all sweaty, and looked like i'd been....well ya working! Ha, so I made a fast dash to the girls room to "freshen up" When I got to his table to greet him & two other friends he was with-I swear he wouldn't even look at me! Haha, it's so funny to think back cause I seriously thought he had absolutely noooo interest until...the very end of the night I had gone to check them out and give them their debit cards back, I said goodbye and they made their way out the door. I went to pick up their tickets to put in my tip and saw his name & number at the bottom of his receipt! I was the happiest girl on earth I went to the kitchen and was like OMGOSH! He left his number (I had made all my co-workers go check him out cause I thought he was the hottest thing ever haha) The girls were so excited for me and were like call him right now! I was like no way-gotta make 'em wait hehe.
Ok, ok..I'll admit I couldn't make him wait that long cause I couldn't wait to talk to him! I sometimes think what would have happened if I would of just went home with the money I had and not said anything? Yikes, nevermind I don't wanna think about that LOL
I called him on my way home, we made a date to see eachother the next night and just like that-the rest was history <3
A few months later we brought up marriage- I just knew from the 3rd date on that he was the one. I told my family and friends and they were all so happy for me but also concerned cause I hadn't been so serious about anyone as I was Stephen. There was a guy I dated in High School that I thought I was in love with, and every boyfriend after him I just had a hard time staying with them for a long period. I thought it was pointless to try and date others when I still really liked my first boyfriend, so a month or two would go by and i'd break up with them. The only guy who healed my heart, who made me 100% completely move on and fall in love was Stephen. Gosh, I love him!
I love being Stephen's wife cause we are so much alike--(except for the whole hunting, fishing & video games stuff...well actually I am trying to work on getting into hunting cause I know he likes it so much I'm taking one for the team ha) But anyways, we finish eachothers sentences or what's even more freaky is we know what eachothers thinking! We love being a lot alike, but sometimes we can bump heads. It's pretty rare though, we were talking about it this weekend on our way to our date that it had been 3 years we'd been married right about now we are suppose to be getting annoyed with eachother haha? But seriously we don't, we are more in love each year that goes by-I give that praise to God because HE is the center of our marriage. HE is our glue that holds us so close together and honestly, we don't have a perfect marriage, but we have a pretty dern great one! I love you, Stephen.
I love my husband for many things, but the one thing I most love about him is the way he loves me. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wife as Christ loves the Church." If we are to be like Christ, and if husbands are to love their wives as God loves his people then women should be treated with respect, love, praise, gratitude, not being taken advantage of etc. God is our ultimate example in everything we do-and I love Stephen above everything because of this. Because he is following God's word and loves me the way God loves his Church. He is a gentleman and never disrespects me, and in turn i'm submissive because number one God orders me to be and two because he makes it so easy to follow what he says-why? Because I trust his lead. Lord, I am so thankful for the man you've gave me, i'm forever grateful.
Friday night Stephen started complaining that he was feeling a little sick. His body hurt, he was coughing and he said his thoart hurt really bad. I was like aww baby, we totally don't have to do anything tomorrow (cause saturday we had a babysitter set up and him and I were going out for the day to just enjoy eachother)
I felt really bad and said I would not care if we just stayed home, being with him is all I cared about. With that we feel asleep. Saturday morning I'm laying in bed, he is downstairs already and i'm getting Adalie and I in the bath. When we get out and get dressed I smell something cooking coming down the stairs....Yah-he totally made me breakfast! How stinkin' sweet! He was so sick but it meant enough to him to wake up early and cook me my breakfast. Gosh, I love him!! So i'm like baby, you didn't have to! I wanted to, but he said go sit down. So of course we had our little breakfast, so cute :) then he said, I want to spend the day with you-so we decided to go on with our plans. We took Adalie to her babysitter (Brittany, she's awesome!) And off we went! Stephen drove me to the mall, ok come on, cook me breakfast and take me shopping, seriously? A man does two things they hate-cooking & shopping lol but yes, my baby did this for me. Nonetheless, we had a blast laughing, cutting up all day, spending our money lol ( He got some stinkin' cute outfits for church I might add) We went to Academy cause he likes hunting stuff & remember how I mentioned I was going to try to do more things he likes? Well I did see some super cute boots I want ha, never thought i'd say that, but I guess it's not so bad ya know I like that little country dressin'.
Well, after we shopped till we dropped we went to the Olive Garden. (we were suppose to go to Marble Falls to eat on the lake, but it rained all weekend) It's ok cause what was even more sweet is we went and ate at the exact same place we met 3 years ago and sat at the exact same section I was working the night we met!! Isn't that so cute! We spent the whole day talking about the last 3 years, kissing, laughing & just enjoying being together without the munchkin ha. We love her but it was so nice to be just us again <3
Church on Sunday was amazing as always. Did I mention my hubby is singing on the worship team? Well, yep-he sure is :) He lead worship and is was really neat to see him loving on God that way. After Church we took our Pastors out to eat and had a great time with them. I love our Pastors they are so sweet. They mentioned something to Stephen & I that we are both praying about, but i'll blog about that later, stay tuned ;)
Overall, I am on cloud 9 still from the weekend. I can't put into words how happy my little heart is. For now I better run, but thanks for stopping by! Be blessed!
Jesus, I love you!!! You are so good to me when I don't even deserve it! Thank you for giving me everything I have and even if you never gave me another thing i'd still love, praise, and worship you just for who you are <3 You are my everything.
Your daughter,
Esther :)
So I know you are all dying to to hear about the weekend, (got some impatient texts this weekend ha,) BUT I wanna go back to the day I met him.
Back in 2006 I was working as a waitress at the Olive Garden. I was moments from leaving when I reached inside my pocket to count my money for the evening. I had made a lot less than normal so I had asked my manager if he would please give me ONE more table to work. He said that was fine and then next thing I know the most beautiful person i've ever seen is sitting in my section. He was my ONE last table <3
Immediately I got nervous lol-to this day I know exactly what he was wearing & I think what did it was his little Yankee baseball cap ;) He looked so cute! I was all sweaty, and looked like i'd been....well ya working! Ha, so I made a fast dash to the girls room to "freshen up" When I got to his table to greet him & two other friends he was with-I swear he wouldn't even look at me! Haha, it's so funny to think back cause I seriously thought he had absolutely noooo interest until...the very end of the night I had gone to check them out and give them their debit cards back, I said goodbye and they made their way out the door. I went to pick up their tickets to put in my tip and saw his name & number at the bottom of his receipt! I was the happiest girl on earth I went to the kitchen and was like OMGOSH! He left his number (I had made all my co-workers go check him out cause I thought he was the hottest thing ever haha) The girls were so excited for me and were like call him right now! I was like no way-gotta make 'em wait hehe.
Ok, ok..I'll admit I couldn't make him wait that long cause I couldn't wait to talk to him! I sometimes think what would have happened if I would of just went home with the money I had and not said anything? Yikes, nevermind I don't wanna think about that LOL
I called him on my way home, we made a date to see eachother the next night and just like that-the rest was history <3
A few months later we brought up marriage- I just knew from the 3rd date on that he was the one. I told my family and friends and they were all so happy for me but also concerned cause I hadn't been so serious about anyone as I was Stephen. There was a guy I dated in High School that I thought I was in love with, and every boyfriend after him I just had a hard time staying with them for a long period. I thought it was pointless to try and date others when I still really liked my first boyfriend, so a month or two would go by and i'd break up with them. The only guy who healed my heart, who made me 100% completely move on and fall in love was Stephen. Gosh, I love him!
I love being Stephen's wife cause we are so much alike--(except for the whole hunting, fishing & video games stuff...well actually I am trying to work on getting into hunting cause I know he likes it so much I'm taking one for the team ha) But anyways, we finish eachothers sentences or what's even more freaky is we know what eachothers thinking! We love being a lot alike, but sometimes we can bump heads. It's pretty rare though, we were talking about it this weekend on our way to our date that it had been 3 years we'd been married right about now we are suppose to be getting annoyed with eachother haha? But seriously we don't, we are more in love each year that goes by-I give that praise to God because HE is the center of our marriage. HE is our glue that holds us so close together and honestly, we don't have a perfect marriage, but we have a pretty dern great one! I love you, Stephen.
I love my husband for many things, but the one thing I most love about him is the way he loves me. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wife as Christ loves the Church." If we are to be like Christ, and if husbands are to love their wives as God loves his people then women should be treated with respect, love, praise, gratitude, not being taken advantage of etc. God is our ultimate example in everything we do-and I love Stephen above everything because of this. Because he is following God's word and loves me the way God loves his Church. He is a gentleman and never disrespects me, and in turn i'm submissive because number one God orders me to be and two because he makes it so easy to follow what he says-why? Because I trust his lead. Lord, I am so thankful for the man you've gave me, i'm forever grateful.
Friday night Stephen started complaining that he was feeling a little sick. His body hurt, he was coughing and he said his thoart hurt really bad. I was like aww baby, we totally don't have to do anything tomorrow (cause saturday we had a babysitter set up and him and I were going out for the day to just enjoy eachother)
I felt really bad and said I would not care if we just stayed home, being with him is all I cared about. With that we feel asleep. Saturday morning I'm laying in bed, he is downstairs already and i'm getting Adalie and I in the bath. When we get out and get dressed I smell something cooking coming down the stairs....Yah-he totally made me breakfast! How stinkin' sweet! He was so sick but it meant enough to him to wake up early and cook me my breakfast. Gosh, I love him!! So i'm like baby, you didn't have to! I wanted to, but he said go sit down. So of course we had our little breakfast, so cute :) then he said, I want to spend the day with you-so we decided to go on with our plans. We took Adalie to her babysitter (Brittany, she's awesome!) And off we went! Stephen drove me to the mall, ok come on, cook me breakfast and take me shopping, seriously? A man does two things they hate-cooking & shopping lol but yes, my baby did this for me. Nonetheless, we had a blast laughing, cutting up all day, spending our money lol ( He got some stinkin' cute outfits for church I might add) We went to Academy cause he likes hunting stuff & remember how I mentioned I was going to try to do more things he likes? Well I did see some super cute boots I want ha, never thought i'd say that, but I guess it's not so bad ya know I like that little country dressin'.
Well, after we shopped till we dropped we went to the Olive Garden. (we were suppose to go to Marble Falls to eat on the lake, but it rained all weekend) It's ok cause what was even more sweet is we went and ate at the exact same place we met 3 years ago and sat at the exact same section I was working the night we met!! Isn't that so cute! We spent the whole day talking about the last 3 years, kissing, laughing & just enjoying being together without the munchkin ha. We love her but it was so nice to be just us again <3
Church on Sunday was amazing as always. Did I mention my hubby is singing on the worship team? Well, yep-he sure is :) He lead worship and is was really neat to see him loving on God that way. After Church we took our Pastors out to eat and had a great time with them. I love our Pastors they are so sweet. They mentioned something to Stephen & I that we are both praying about, but i'll blog about that later, stay tuned ;)
Overall, I am on cloud 9 still from the weekend. I can't put into words how happy my little heart is. For now I better run, but thanks for stopping by! Be blessed!
Jesus, I love you!!! You are so good to me when I don't even deserve it! Thank you for giving me everything I have and even if you never gave me another thing i'd still love, praise, and worship you just for who you are <3 You are my everything.
Your daughter,
Esther :)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Wednesday Night Church Service
As I sat in Church last night, our pastor told us we were going to be doing a series of studies over the Blood of Jesus and how much power it has. He said he had a story to share with us and I never thought how impacting it would be--It ripped my heart apart and as I sat in my puddle of tears, I silently thanked the Lord for giving His life for me. I can't put into words how I felt last night. I can't thank God enough, seriously. Here is the article:
PURE BLOOD
It's a Wednesday night and you are at a church prayer meeting when somebody runs in from the parking lot yelling, "Turn on a radio, turn on a radio!"And while the church listens to a little transistor radio with a microphone stuck up to it, the announcement is made: "Two women are lying in a Long Island hospital dying from a 'mystery' flu." Within hours it seems, this thing just sweeps across the country.People are working around the clock trying to find an antidote. Nothing isworking! California, Oregon, Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts.It's as though it's just sweeping in from the borders. And then, all of a sudden, the news comes out. The code has been broken. A cure can be found. A vaccine can be made. It's going to take the blood of somebody who hasn't been infected, and so, sure enough, all through the Midwest, through all those channels of emergency broadcasting, everyone is asked to do one simple thing: Go to your downtown hospital and have your blood type taken. That's all we ask of you. When you hear the sirens go off in your neighborhood, please make your way quickly, quietly, and safely to the hospitals. Sure enough, when you and your family get down there late on that Friday night, there is a long line, and they've got nurses and doctors coming out and pricking fingers and taking blood and putting labels on it. Your husband and your kids are out there, and they take your blood type and they say, "Wait here in the parking lot and if we call your name, you can be dismissed and go home."You stand around, scared, with your neighbors, wondering what in the world is going on and if this is the end of the world. Suddenly a young man comes running out of the hospital screaming. He's yelling a name and waving a clipboard. What? He yells it again! And your son tugs on your jacket and says, "Mommy, that's me."Before you know it, they have grabbed your boy. Wait a minute! Hold on! And they say, "It's okay, his blood is clean. His blood is pure. We want to make sure he doesn't have the disease. We think he has got the right type." Five tense minutes later, out come the doctors and nurses, crying and hugging one another ... some are even laughing. It's the first time you have seen anybody laugh in a week, and an old doctor walks up to you and says, "Thank you. Your son's blood type is perfect. It's clean, it is pure, and we can make the vaccine." As the word begins to spread all across that parking lot full of folks, people are screaming and praying and laughing and crying.Then the gray-haired doctor pulls you and your husband aside and says, "May we see you for moment? We didn't realize that the donor would be a minor and we need ....... we need you to sign a consent form." You begin to sign and then you see that the number of pints of blood to be taken has been left blank."H-how many pints?", you ask. And that is when the old doctor's smile fades and he says, "We had no idea it would be little child. We weren't prepared. I'm sorry ma'am, we need it all!""But but .. You don't understand.""We are talking about the world here. Please sign. We need it all!""But can't you give him a transfusion?""If we had clean blood we would. Can you sign? Would you sign?"In numb silence, you do. Then they say, "Would you like to have a moment with him before we begin?"Can you walk back? Can you walk back to that room where your child sits on a table saying, "Daddy? Mommy? What's going on?" Can you take his hands and say, "Son, your daddy and I love you, and we would never ever let anything happen to you that didn't just have to be. Do you understand that?"And when that old doctor comes back in and says, "I'm sorry, we've GOT to get started! People all over the world are dying. Can you leave?"Can you walk out while he is saying, " Mommy? Daddy?" Why, why have you forsaken me?"And then next week, when they have the ceremony to honor your son some folks sleep through it ... some folks don't even come because they go to the lake or the seashore ... some folks come with a pretentious smile and just "pretend" to care. Would you want to jump up and say, "MY SON DIED FOR YOU! DON'T YOU CARE?"Is that what GOD wants to say? "MY SON DIED FOR YOU. DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE?"
Father, Seeing it from YOUR eyes breaks our hearts. Maybe now we can begin to comprehend the great Love YOU have for us. I love you with everything I am.
Your daughter
Esther.
PURE BLOOD
It's a Wednesday night and you are at a church prayer meeting when somebody runs in from the parking lot yelling, "Turn on a radio, turn on a radio!"And while the church listens to a little transistor radio with a microphone stuck up to it, the announcement is made: "Two women are lying in a Long Island hospital dying from a 'mystery' flu." Within hours it seems, this thing just sweeps across the country.People are working around the clock trying to find an antidote. Nothing isworking! California, Oregon, Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts.It's as though it's just sweeping in from the borders. And then, all of a sudden, the news comes out. The code has been broken. A cure can be found. A vaccine can be made. It's going to take the blood of somebody who hasn't been infected, and so, sure enough, all through the Midwest, through all those channels of emergency broadcasting, everyone is asked to do one simple thing: Go to your downtown hospital and have your blood type taken. That's all we ask of you. When you hear the sirens go off in your neighborhood, please make your way quickly, quietly, and safely to the hospitals. Sure enough, when you and your family get down there late on that Friday night, there is a long line, and they've got nurses and doctors coming out and pricking fingers and taking blood and putting labels on it. Your husband and your kids are out there, and they take your blood type and they say, "Wait here in the parking lot and if we call your name, you can be dismissed and go home."You stand around, scared, with your neighbors, wondering what in the world is going on and if this is the end of the world. Suddenly a young man comes running out of the hospital screaming. He's yelling a name and waving a clipboard. What? He yells it again! And your son tugs on your jacket and says, "Mommy, that's me."Before you know it, they have grabbed your boy. Wait a minute! Hold on! And they say, "It's okay, his blood is clean. His blood is pure. We want to make sure he doesn't have the disease. We think he has got the right type." Five tense minutes later, out come the doctors and nurses, crying and hugging one another ... some are even laughing. It's the first time you have seen anybody laugh in a week, and an old doctor walks up to you and says, "Thank you. Your son's blood type is perfect. It's clean, it is pure, and we can make the vaccine." As the word begins to spread all across that parking lot full of folks, people are screaming and praying and laughing and crying.Then the gray-haired doctor pulls you and your husband aside and says, "May we see you for moment? We didn't realize that the donor would be a minor and we need ....... we need you to sign a consent form." You begin to sign and then you see that the number of pints of blood to be taken has been left blank."H-how many pints?", you ask. And that is when the old doctor's smile fades and he says, "We had no idea it would be little child. We weren't prepared. I'm sorry ma'am, we need it all!""But but .. You don't understand.""We are talking about the world here. Please sign. We need it all!""But can't you give him a transfusion?""If we had clean blood we would. Can you sign? Would you sign?"In numb silence, you do. Then they say, "Would you like to have a moment with him before we begin?"Can you walk back? Can you walk back to that room where your child sits on a table saying, "Daddy? Mommy? What's going on?" Can you take his hands and say, "Son, your daddy and I love you, and we would never ever let anything happen to you that didn't just have to be. Do you understand that?"And when that old doctor comes back in and says, "I'm sorry, we've GOT to get started! People all over the world are dying. Can you leave?"Can you walk out while he is saying, " Mommy? Daddy?" Why, why have you forsaken me?"And then next week, when they have the ceremony to honor your son some folks sleep through it ... some folks don't even come because they go to the lake or the seashore ... some folks come with a pretentious smile and just "pretend" to care. Would you want to jump up and say, "MY SON DIED FOR YOU! DON'T YOU CARE?"Is that what GOD wants to say? "MY SON DIED FOR YOU. DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE?"
Father, Seeing it from YOUR eyes breaks our hearts. Maybe now we can begin to comprehend the great Love YOU have for us. I love you with everything I am.
Your daughter
Esther.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
So Perky
::Yawn:: I'm not real sure why i'm still yawning I got an amazing 10 hours of sleep last night I went to sleep sooo early :) It felt wonderful this morning waking up so perky-I'm typically not a morning person, but yesterday I was so busy at work I was really tired at the end of my shift. The hubby knew I had a busy day so he went home picked up the house, had me some dinner started when I walked in the door and snuggled with me at 8 pm. Great evening I must say :)
**Oh I almost forgot-I had a lunch date with a co-worker/Friend yesterday at Logans, she is so funny, probably the funniest girlfriend i've ever had. Love her to death. She happens to be my mentor at work and I just learn so much from her everyday. I just know God put her in my life for good reasons! So Gina if you're reading this you better quit working out so much & eat out with me more often ;)
Did I mention that my 3 year anniversary is coming up this monday? Yup, October 5th 2006 I married the love of my life, Stephen. He is absolutely, by far, my biggest fan, best friend, and let me just mention cutest little thing ever! I am so in love with him. But..I won't get too far into that because helllllo, I have to blog on that on our anniversary day! He is actually taking me out to a romantic getaway to Marble Falls, they have this restuarant on a lake that he mentioned, but we shall see where we end up :) don't worry, i'll keep ya'll updated!
So far this has been the busiest week ever! I have 3 amazing students that i've enrolled and have more student meetings this week-Lord, help me lol no just kidding I really enjoy my job, I love the people I work with and my students are great! I have a little dentist appointment today that I must get to, but check back in for more blogging later, I love you guys, but above all-I LOVE MY SAVIOR!
Jesus, you are my everlasting King-Thank you for all my wonderful friends, family members, students, co-workers, and new sisters in Christ! You are AMAZING! I love you sooo much!
Your daugher,
Estie <3
**Oh I almost forgot-I had a lunch date with a co-worker/Friend yesterday at Logans, she is so funny, probably the funniest girlfriend i've ever had. Love her to death. She happens to be my mentor at work and I just learn so much from her everyday. I just know God put her in my life for good reasons! So Gina if you're reading this you better quit working out so much & eat out with me more often ;)
Did I mention that my 3 year anniversary is coming up this monday? Yup, October 5th 2006 I married the love of my life, Stephen. He is absolutely, by far, my biggest fan, best friend, and let me just mention cutest little thing ever! I am so in love with him. But..I won't get too far into that because helllllo, I have to blog on that on our anniversary day! He is actually taking me out to a romantic getaway to Marble Falls, they have this restuarant on a lake that he mentioned, but we shall see where we end up :) don't worry, i'll keep ya'll updated!
So far this has been the busiest week ever! I have 3 amazing students that i've enrolled and have more student meetings this week-Lord, help me lol no just kidding I really enjoy my job, I love the people I work with and my students are great! I have a little dentist appointment today that I must get to, but check back in for more blogging later, I love you guys, but above all-I LOVE MY SAVIOR!
Jesus, you are my everlasting King-Thank you for all my wonderful friends, family members, students, co-workers, and new sisters in Christ! You are AMAZING! I love you sooo much!
Your daugher,
Estie <3
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I hate Goodbyes
I can't believe the weekend is almost over, only a few hours left until the work week starts up again..time flies! Speakin of time, I got to spend a little of that with my big sister, Eunice this weekend. I love visiting her, my brother in law and her kiddos, they are great. She is married to Jerome and he happens to be a medic in the Army...well as you know the Army sends you here and there..nothing you can do about it, but enjoy the time you do get at your duty station. I wonder sometimes how soldiers cope with coming & going? Like, for us we've been stationed in Ft. Hood for the past 3 years (besides his 15 month deployment) but for the most part the friends he has made they've all stayed together...but what about soliders that make friends and within a couple years, leave & start all over..I wonder if deep down it's an emotional ride for them or if they become immune to that part of their job?
So this weekend was fun, except for my horrible tooth ache I had going on. I went to a dentist the other day & he gave me 2 options-extraction or a root canal-they both have one thing in common ::RELIEF:: but a major difference-$$$ Lets just say a few hundred dollars in difference-it's amazing the kind of money people make on a 30-hour session digging in your mouth? But God bless them cause when you find yourself in a situation like me- they are much needed!
My sister goes to a big church called Victory Assemblies of God. The music is amazing and the pastors gives messages that pull at my heart strings every single time I go :) So anyhow-my little niece Gracie was dedicated at Church today, she looked like a little angel I tell ya, she is so beautiful! Such a good baby rarely cries and my sister often giggles at how different she is then her bigger sister Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn was a good baby as well, but a little on the moody side, she's grown outta it and is a little sweetheart! Addie, my daughter absoultely loves Kaitlyn she actually calls her KK, but they are like peanut butter & jelly! It just so happens that this was the last weekend I was going to be able to visit my sister and her family because they are headed to South Carolina in a couple weeks, so as great as it was hanging out with them, it was so hard to say goodbye :( Remember the thing I said about being in the Army? Ya duty calls, sad stuff. My parents live about 9 hours from me and so she was the closest family I had near by...ya..I'm bummed. God has lead them to South Carolina for a reason & I like to think that they are being called to reach more souls somewhere else.. I mean, they were in San Anotonio for a while they did their job but God needs mobile people, willing hearts, and obedient souls, so it makes me feel better to know that they are not being taken away from me, just called to a higher purpose :) Cheesey? Ahh I don't care I like my thought process it helps.
I am a bit shy when it comes to others seeming me cry so as she closed the door and as I walked away from her home to my car the tears just came. It's hard on Addie as well, with her and KK being such buddies and all :( AHH, see this is why I hate being a girl, we're sooo emotional lol-Lord help us. Either way, I love my sister, she loves the Lord with all her heart and I just know she is going to be a blessing in South Carolina. May you continue to reach many souls for His Kingdom sissy, may those people be as blessed as you've blessed us. I love you.
Lord, thank you for a good weekend. I give you my burdens, may your hand guide my sister and her family as they travel to their new destination. I plead the blood of Jesus over each of their life and Lord, may you continue to anoint them and bless them to further your Kingdom. In Jesus MIGHTY name I pray, Amen.
I love you Jesus!!
You are my all in all.
So this weekend was fun, except for my horrible tooth ache I had going on. I went to a dentist the other day & he gave me 2 options-extraction or a root canal-they both have one thing in common ::RELIEF:: but a major difference-$$$ Lets just say a few hundred dollars in difference-it's amazing the kind of money people make on a 30-hour session digging in your mouth? But God bless them cause when you find yourself in a situation like me- they are much needed!
My sister goes to a big church called Victory Assemblies of God. The music is amazing and the pastors gives messages that pull at my heart strings every single time I go :) So anyhow-my little niece Gracie was dedicated at Church today, she looked like a little angel I tell ya, she is so beautiful! Such a good baby rarely cries and my sister often giggles at how different she is then her bigger sister Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn was a good baby as well, but a little on the moody side, she's grown outta it and is a little sweetheart! Addie, my daughter absoultely loves Kaitlyn she actually calls her KK, but they are like peanut butter & jelly! It just so happens that this was the last weekend I was going to be able to visit my sister and her family because they are headed to South Carolina in a couple weeks, so as great as it was hanging out with them, it was so hard to say goodbye :( Remember the thing I said about being in the Army? Ya duty calls, sad stuff. My parents live about 9 hours from me and so she was the closest family I had near by...ya..I'm bummed. God has lead them to South Carolina for a reason & I like to think that they are being called to reach more souls somewhere else.. I mean, they were in San Anotonio for a while they did their job but God needs mobile people, willing hearts, and obedient souls, so it makes me feel better to know that they are not being taken away from me, just called to a higher purpose :) Cheesey? Ahh I don't care I like my thought process it helps.
I am a bit shy when it comes to others seeming me cry so as she closed the door and as I walked away from her home to my car the tears just came. It's hard on Addie as well, with her and KK being such buddies and all :( AHH, see this is why I hate being a girl, we're sooo emotional lol-Lord help us. Either way, I love my sister, she loves the Lord with all her heart and I just know she is going to be a blessing in South Carolina. May you continue to reach many souls for His Kingdom sissy, may those people be as blessed as you've blessed us. I love you.
Lord, thank you for a good weekend. I give you my burdens, may your hand guide my sister and her family as they travel to their new destination. I plead the blood of Jesus over each of their life and Lord, may you continue to anoint them and bless them to further your Kingdom. In Jesus MIGHTY name I pray, Amen.
I love you Jesus!!
You are my all in all.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Religion Vs Relationship
I feel sometimes that religion is killing people. There are so many precious people who are seeking to have a relationship with God, and the religious community continues to tell them something else they need to "do" in order to be acceptable to Him. But that is not what God says!
2 Corinthians 3:6 says "IT IS HE, who qualifies us to be fit, worthy and sufficient as ministers and dispensers of a new convenant of salvation through Christ. " It is not up to anyone but God to decide who he sees as worthy, as someone fit to do his work, he sees our heart but the world sees all our imperfections. I once used to be that way. I thought well i'm dropping all these things to be closer to God shouldn't everyone else? Why isn't everyone doing what I'm doing? I was in the wrong. God convicts us all on different levels. My struggles and not everyone elses. Now obviously doing things like watching what you say, how you dress, what you act like are the basics of showing you are a Christ follower and showing the fruits of the Spirit, but i'm talking on a deeper level. I have began to understand that God's grace is more than anyone can imagine, we ALL have things that keep us from being rigtheous so I refuse to protray i'm any better than the next guy. When I get to thinking about sin I think well, I struggle with this, but he or she struggles with that-and it has come to me that no sin is greater than another! Sin is sin is sin is sin, it doesn't matter. So how can I say i'm any holier than someone else? Jesus is and will be the only perfect being that has ever walked this earth, all we can do is strive to be more and more like him eachday. God speaks to me and says, "Esther, do your best because you love me. I know your heart. Admit your faults, repent of your mistakes, and just keep loving me." And i'm thankful for His voice because that's all I can do. The bible says we will all fall short of His glory. I only wish to do the best I can to represent Christ and not judge others. I made a friend recently who has a heart of gold. He happens to have a different lifestyle and is gay. It saddened me so much when I was talking to him because he desires a relationship with God and knows he has an uphill battle but every Christian has shunned him and made him feel like he was too far gone to recieve God's forgivness or love. Is that the Christian I want to be? Never! I instantly prayed God help me talk to him and show him you do love him, cause you love the sinner not the sin. I found myself talking to him one afternoon, and he just mentioned that his whole life he had struggled with not feeling anything for women. I've never understood homosexuality, but I tried to be opened minded in order to be effective in my talk with him. I placed myself in his shoes and thought, wow, what if there was something exterior that people noticed about me that would keep me out of Church? How awful would that be to be looked funny at Church or walk around feeling rejected from the Christian community and society in general. I felt for this guy so I simply said, Jesus loves you. He does desire a relationship with you and everyone. Come to Him and allow him to cleanse you, to guide you, to convict you, to love you. I could see the knot in his throat and with that he walked out. That night, He sent me a text message saying, thank you-you've stirred something in my heart again, please keep me in your prayers. People that taught me something HUGE. Why are we scared to tell people God loves them? Why are we afraid of witnessing to people most wouldn't? They are the ones that need to hear God loves them the MOST! It just opened my eyes to see that God's grace is more than we think-we put a limit on God and his mercy. He can reach the people we think are so far gone, if only we too would give them some mercy, give them a little of our time, opened our arms to them and made them feel welcome. For that's what Jesus does everyday to each and every single life. He stands there with arms wide open, when we are full of filth. God forgive me for being so unaccepting to others and being quick to judge. Thank you for opening my heart and my mind to see it is YOU who changes lives, it is YOU who has changed mine. I love you Father, you are truly amazing. Thank you for sparing my life and those that have been given chances time and time again. Let us in return give others those chances too.
I love you,
your daughter
Esther
2 Corinthians 3:6 says "IT IS HE, who qualifies us to be fit, worthy and sufficient as ministers and dispensers of a new convenant of salvation through Christ. " It is not up to anyone but God to decide who he sees as worthy, as someone fit to do his work, he sees our heart but the world sees all our imperfections. I once used to be that way. I thought well i'm dropping all these things to be closer to God shouldn't everyone else? Why isn't everyone doing what I'm doing? I was in the wrong. God convicts us all on different levels. My struggles and not everyone elses. Now obviously doing things like watching what you say, how you dress, what you act like are the basics of showing you are a Christ follower and showing the fruits of the Spirit, but i'm talking on a deeper level. I have began to understand that God's grace is more than anyone can imagine, we ALL have things that keep us from being rigtheous so I refuse to protray i'm any better than the next guy. When I get to thinking about sin I think well, I struggle with this, but he or she struggles with that-and it has come to me that no sin is greater than another! Sin is sin is sin is sin, it doesn't matter. So how can I say i'm any holier than someone else? Jesus is and will be the only perfect being that has ever walked this earth, all we can do is strive to be more and more like him eachday. God speaks to me and says, "Esther, do your best because you love me. I know your heart. Admit your faults, repent of your mistakes, and just keep loving me." And i'm thankful for His voice because that's all I can do. The bible says we will all fall short of His glory. I only wish to do the best I can to represent Christ and not judge others. I made a friend recently who has a heart of gold. He happens to have a different lifestyle and is gay. It saddened me so much when I was talking to him because he desires a relationship with God and knows he has an uphill battle but every Christian has shunned him and made him feel like he was too far gone to recieve God's forgivness or love. Is that the Christian I want to be? Never! I instantly prayed God help me talk to him and show him you do love him, cause you love the sinner not the sin. I found myself talking to him one afternoon, and he just mentioned that his whole life he had struggled with not feeling anything for women. I've never understood homosexuality, but I tried to be opened minded in order to be effective in my talk with him. I placed myself in his shoes and thought, wow, what if there was something exterior that people noticed about me that would keep me out of Church? How awful would that be to be looked funny at Church or walk around feeling rejected from the Christian community and society in general. I felt for this guy so I simply said, Jesus loves you. He does desire a relationship with you and everyone. Come to Him and allow him to cleanse you, to guide you, to convict you, to love you. I could see the knot in his throat and with that he walked out. That night, He sent me a text message saying, thank you-you've stirred something in my heart again, please keep me in your prayers. People that taught me something HUGE. Why are we scared to tell people God loves them? Why are we afraid of witnessing to people most wouldn't? They are the ones that need to hear God loves them the MOST! It just opened my eyes to see that God's grace is more than we think-we put a limit on God and his mercy. He can reach the people we think are so far gone, if only we too would give them some mercy, give them a little of our time, opened our arms to them and made them feel welcome. For that's what Jesus does everyday to each and every single life. He stands there with arms wide open, when we are full of filth. God forgive me for being so unaccepting to others and being quick to judge. Thank you for opening my heart and my mind to see it is YOU who changes lives, it is YOU who has changed mine. I love you Father, you are truly amazing. Thank you for sparing my life and those that have been given chances time and time again. Let us in return give others those chances too.
I love you,
your daughter
Esther
Monday, September 21, 2009
God is moving.
Lord, I love you. You are my King and forever will I worship you.
So, this weekend went by so fast! I got off work Friday and drove straight into Longview, Tx. It was like a blink of an eye and we were already headed back home. Nonetheless, it was a great time. My daughter Addie got to spend a lot of time with her Aunts and her Uncle Adam. I really love watching Adalie interact with them. They spoil her to pieces, in a good way though. Adalie happens to be the only grandchild on my husbands side of the family so you can imagine the attention. Vikki (stephens step mom) is doing better. She is gaining strength day by day, Glory to you Father! I hope she will find herself back to normal this month!
Stephens dad grilled out for us Saturday night, It was delicious! He made his own recipe beans that he calls "wagontrain beans" haha, it makes me laugh cause even he has no idea why he named them that. Either way, they are sooo good! I never thought beans mixed with meat would taste as awesome as they did! I'll have to remember to call him for that recipe ;)
Well today work has been fast pace! (Which I love) makes time go fast so I can hurry home to my loves. Eating dinner with my husband and baby girl might seem like a nonchalant thing, but I adore that time with them. I do not like eating without one another or eating in the living room-I guess I cherish our dinner time :) Hmm, speakin of, wonder what i'll make tonight for din din.
At lunch today I had the most wonderful phone call. I love my big brother to pieces. God is doing wonders in and through his life. He has made me proud today. God bless him & his family! Lord, may you continue to stir your mercy and grace in him. Thank you for allowing him to open up to me God, may it be your words that flow through my lips, not mine, in Jesus wonderful, powerful name-Amen!
I love you Father
Your daughter
Esther
So, this weekend went by so fast! I got off work Friday and drove straight into Longview, Tx. It was like a blink of an eye and we were already headed back home. Nonetheless, it was a great time. My daughter Addie got to spend a lot of time with her Aunts and her Uncle Adam. I really love watching Adalie interact with them. They spoil her to pieces, in a good way though. Adalie happens to be the only grandchild on my husbands side of the family so you can imagine the attention. Vikki (stephens step mom) is doing better. She is gaining strength day by day, Glory to you Father! I hope she will find herself back to normal this month!
Stephens dad grilled out for us Saturday night, It was delicious! He made his own recipe beans that he calls "wagontrain beans" haha, it makes me laugh cause even he has no idea why he named them that. Either way, they are sooo good! I never thought beans mixed with meat would taste as awesome as they did! I'll have to remember to call him for that recipe ;)
Well today work has been fast pace! (Which I love) makes time go fast so I can hurry home to my loves. Eating dinner with my husband and baby girl might seem like a nonchalant thing, but I adore that time with them. I do not like eating without one another or eating in the living room-I guess I cherish our dinner time :) Hmm, speakin of, wonder what i'll make tonight for din din.
At lunch today I had the most wonderful phone call. I love my big brother to pieces. God is doing wonders in and through his life. He has made me proud today. God bless him & his family! Lord, may you continue to stir your mercy and grace in him. Thank you for allowing him to open up to me God, may it be your words that flow through my lips, not mine, in Jesus wonderful, powerful name-Amen!
I love you Father
Your daughter
Esther
Friday, September 18, 2009
New day, New me!
Hooray today is a new day! Yesterday was a wild one. Do you ever have days where you literally don't know where it went? That was the kind of day I had yesterday! I'm so glad was able to write in my journal, but after my love note it was crazzzy. So-I love my job and everything about it, well mostly everything- The people are so amazing, so helpful, but truth be told it's not an easy job. It comes with great dedication and a lot of hard work to be successful. I am an admissions counselor so trying to enroll students into college is a fun experience yet i'm busy busy busy! First thing this morning I clocked in, and bam got a phone call from a student wanting to sumbit an application, we were on the phone for over two hours! He is wonderful and such an inspiring young man. I learn a lot about my students and it's funny the way it works, I give them a chance to earn their degree and they give me a chance to make each new day a new me (you'll get it in a minute) My students challenge me, they all have a story that's lead them where they are- they pour out their lives to a stranger (me) and yet i'm their hero at the end of the day. I love counseling it's so rewarding, but i'm so nurturing sometimes their problems make me sad. I have to be careful not to get so deep into my emotions because i'm the counselor. I'm the "strong one" in their eyes, but in mine they are stronger and you'll see why. Going back to this young man that called me today, boy he blew my socks off! Oh my stars, he has been through everything imaginable yet is zealous about life and enpowers the world around him i'm sure of it! His character is out of this world-I almost think he is inhuman! From battling cancer to transitioning foster home after foster home, I sit back and think, wow God had to have been with him every step of the way. Sometimes we need to hear others obstacles, when we think our life is so awful or hard because then we put into perspective just how hard life can really be. When you compare the pile of problems those around us have-you really see the depth of your blessings-- i'm guilty at times of still complaining. Lord, help me.
I am excited to see my in laws this weekend. It's friday woohoo-They live in Longview and are the sweetest little people :) I love them. My step-mom in law has been dealing with some health issues so my desire is to pray God's healing over her! She needs a touch in her life so I pray God's hand goes before me. Well that's all for now, stay tuned for more :) Be blessed!
Lord, with your strength, help and guidance- my prayer is to make each new day and a new. Transform, mold, and stretch my faith.
I love you Heavenly Father-
Esther
I am excited to see my in laws this weekend. It's friday woohoo-They live in Longview and are the sweetest little people :) I love them. My step-mom in law has been dealing with some health issues so my desire is to pray God's healing over her! She needs a touch in her life so I pray God's hand goes before me. Well that's all for now, stay tuned for more :) Be blessed!
Lord, with your strength, help and guidance- my prayer is to make each new day and a new. Transform, mold, and stretch my faith.
I love you Heavenly Father-
Esther
Thursday, September 17, 2009
My first blog "Encourage"
So today is my first blog. I am very excited about my journal. I love writing, expressing my thoughts, feelings & above all glorifing my God in everything I do. I dedicate this page to my Jesus, my awesome savior! He is the reason to my exsistance and I am forever grateful for this life I live.
The word of God is such a blessing and one of the things I've really put into practice in the last few months is 1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing"-I am so moved to share the love of Christ with others, to inspire those that feel hopeless, those that are shunned, those that feel they have no one to turn too. We serve a mighty, forgiving, loving God, Amen! He is so accepting, so warm and welcoming that I sometimes feel overwhelmed at how I committ sins over and over; yet, my Father is faithful, He is always available with his arms wide open. Lord, purify me! I ask that you empty all that I am and be filled with everything you are. I want to shout from the mountains how AMAZING Jesus is and what He is capable of. Brother and sisters, this race is hard, but endure for our God will return one day and what a moment that is gonna be huh? Man, I can't wait to meet my Lord face to face and tell Him how much I love him..and to hear His voice..wow what a moment to live for! I pray peace and joy over all the eyes that view this, in Jesus precious name, Amen.
Father-I love you!
Your daughter Esther
<3
The word of God is such a blessing and one of the things I've really put into practice in the last few months is 1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing"-I am so moved to share the love of Christ with others, to inspire those that feel hopeless, those that are shunned, those that feel they have no one to turn too. We serve a mighty, forgiving, loving God, Amen! He is so accepting, so warm and welcoming that I sometimes feel overwhelmed at how I committ sins over and over; yet, my Father is faithful, He is always available with his arms wide open. Lord, purify me! I ask that you empty all that I am and be filled with everything you are. I want to shout from the mountains how AMAZING Jesus is and what He is capable of. Brother and sisters, this race is hard, but endure for our God will return one day and what a moment that is gonna be huh? Man, I can't wait to meet my Lord face to face and tell Him how much I love him..and to hear His voice..wow what a moment to live for! I pray peace and joy over all the eyes that view this, in Jesus precious name, Amen.
Father-I love you!
Your daughter Esther
<3
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