"Be still, and know I am God.." Psalms 46:10
It all started a few months ago, when I began thinking what it would be like to hear Gods voice? What would He sound like? What would He say to me? When people say they've heard from God what did they mean exactly? Then I left the thought alone...until
This past Sunday our pastors wife sister Audra gave a sermon that stuck the very core of me. Trust was the topic. She mentioned a story of a little boy who climbed a tree or actually I can't remember what it was he climbed, but anyways lets say it was a tree. He knew his Father was at the bottom of the tree so when the boy reached the highest he could climb, he leaped out without notice. The father immediately ran and caught the boy, then he asked him "What were you thinking just jumping off like that?" The boy answered, "Well Dad, I KNEW you would catch me." Record breaking trust.
If you think about that, in comparison to our relationship with our Father, we also should have that kind of trust. But it's not always that easy, because as humans we want control of things. When we leap out in Faith how wonderful it is to KNOW that our heavenly Father is there to catch us before we fall. My problem at times is trusting to be caught. I understand this-God is able to do anything, I'm aware of that, but when I examine my life & my walk with God I notice that I pick and choose the areas in which I trust God. I ran over and over all the areas of my life that I trust him in. Future? Check. Guidance? Check. Finances? sometimes. Fear? hardly ever. You see I have this huge fear of being alone and for a long time i've prayed that God take that fear away from me. I'm a baby I know. But the crazy thing is the more I ask to help me overcome that fear the more my husband is gone from home? Seriously Lord. I'm like wait a second here. BUT I'm having to learn this is the only way I'm going to be taught how to fully rely on God--I'm tired of being worried about the things I have no control over so I made a committment on Sunday to truly hand over all my fears and worries over to the Lord. I am choosing to trust God. With all of it, I will trust in HIM.
So speaking of my husband being gone often here lately, he is actually gone tonight on a 24 hour shift. So here I go-putting my trust into practice. So far only a couple of creepy noises have psyched me out, but all is well. The Lord is my favorite companion : ) Anyways, I started thinking about Gods voice again and thought deeper into it. The way I've personally heard His voice is through music, sermons, His word, but tonight I was just laying there on my bed putting my little Adalie to sleep and I not only kept thinking about my new devoted trust in God, but why is it that I can't have my hands in what Gods doing. You see I like to have a little control of my life and surrendering that all to God is tough and as I was thinking about it God spoke to me and it's like my thoughts were no more and a verse was placed inside my mind "BE STILL, and know I am God."
I don't know how to be still number one. BUT I do know who my God is. So if I can master the first one that will be wonderful. I'm constantly going, so in a funny way it was like God said "Esther, you ADHD child of mine, whose mind runs 1,000 miles an hour be quiet for once lol, be still and hush your mush. Quit worrying so much, do what you can with the possible and trust me with the impossible."
Well at least that's what I've gotten out of it after meditating on what He could have meant. There are many areas in my life I can apply this too,(the being still part) but for tonight my mission is to be number uno-still, be worry free, and tonight I will conquer my fear of sleeping alone! I will be trusting in God to give me peaceful rest.
Lord, I love you. Forgive me for all my short comings and cleanse all my filth I carry. I pray that you help me learn to trust more and more in you each day, that whatever comes my way I may be just as quick to turn it your way. Thank you for your peace that I am feeling now. Thank you for your presence and thank you for your love.
You continue to amaze me Father.
I adore you.
Esther
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