Scattered thoughts

...."We must obey God rather than men."--Acts 5:29

I have a problem. Maybe it's not a problem, maybe a bad habit, maybe it's not a bad habit, but am I the only person on earth that stares at someone wondering what their purpose on earth is? I don't mean that in a bad way, but sometimes I stare off into the distance looking around at all the lives that surround me and I wonder who/what they're living for? I wonder what their life is like? Then I ponder the thought..has their life turned out the way God intended, or has their life turned out the way they intended?

Maybe it is a problem, You see so many times I've ran into this. Where I think and think- I can't help it, I'm a psychologist at heart. I analyze everything...in fact, all of my upper level courses are in psychology. (They say we're the crazies because we've been brainwashed with so many theories) but I differ with that statement. I've always kept close to my Bible, but part of the reason I'm not in the counseling/psychology field is because I have issues believing some of the developmental theories I've learned in school;however, I must say there are some truths in the world of psychology.

One thing I was taught in school is the way people function. What makes them happy, sad, upset, annoyed, jealous, mad etc. This was always one of my favorite topics-why people act the way they do. And believe me during class I was like ew, yup that's me...or man, that hurts thats true, but no matter how you were raised, where you came from, what you didn't have growing up, whatever situation you find yourself in--Jesus is the answer everytime. He can heal the broken hearted, give rest to the troubled, mend pieces that have been scattered, transform a life that is doomed, and to those wanting to take their own life I cry out If you don't want your life, give it to Christ.

I hate that I think too much, but this is what I love about my blogger, I can think freely. As a matter of fact in my blogs I never know what I'm going to talk about. It is never brainstormed, caused by anything, I just write what I'm thinking at the moment. (That may have something to do with why I sometimes make no sense) nonetheless, I enjoy scattered, random, unorganized thoughts. That is unless I am working, then I kinda have to have it together for my students, but anyways..
One thing I think a lot about is that people as a whole, no matter how they were raised, where they come from, or who they know we all have one big trait in common, we all want approval. I did a study one time in school on gangs and why people turn to gangs or turn to that type of lifestyle...it was simple-approval. Or how about the young teenage girls that make themselves sick or don't finish their dinner because hollywood says you're not pretty enough if you're not a size 0?-approval. Or what about the famous "everyone is doing it, it must be ok to society?" again, approval. There is always an approval we are looking for. I know for me when I'm about to go on a date I always ask Stephen, "Hey babe, does this look ok?" I know thats not a good example, but what I'm saying is there is a level of approval we look for. I had struggled for years, but with Gods help I now feel confident knowing my only approval in life that matters is God. He stamps yes or no. I care nothing about pleasing people (in the sense that I change who I am to make them like me) I honestly do not care in no way to be popular. I wasn't always that way, but that only lead me astray from God. The bible says, bad company corupts good character and well, it has it's truth.

One of my biggest motivations in life is to live a life that is pleasing to God. Not man. For He is my greatest example. The bible says that he made Himself of "no reputation" (phillipians 2:7)That is a significant statement to me. He understood His purpose in life and lived it out to perfection regardless of who was on His side or not. That used to matter to me. I needed to have approval of friends to be a certain way, or act a certain way, but now I have freedom to shine on and live for Christ. There was a point in my life that I hid who I really was for the fear of being rejected, what an awful feeling it was, and now I get angry with myself because I think why did it matter? Seriously, why? I absolutely gained nothing but lost everything I had going for me. I think about all the lives I had an opportunity to influence, and gosh I get frustrated...buuut at least I have today. And today I can stand up proud and say, I live for Jesus.

Lord, I do not know everyones reasons for living, but you do. I do not know why life turns out great for some and unfortuante for others, but you do. My only desire today is that believers come to recognize you are the only approval they need regardless of circumstances that branched from their upbringing.. it's not hollywood, not friends, not the media, but YOU and only you Lord that really matters.

At the end of the day, I realize that living for you God is truly living.

Who stamps your approval?

I love you
Sincerely,
Your daughter