The day Joy came to stay.

Joy. Such a small word; yet, so wanted.

Tonight, my family and I decided to put up our Christmas tree and as I was finishing hanging the ornaments I realized that there was one that was left at the bottom of the box. I reached and pulled it out and as I hung it on the tree I noticed what it said. JOY. I smiled as it fit perfectly along with the rest of the ornaments, I took a step back and simultaneously felt that joy in my heart as I looked around the room.

I stepped into the kitchen and began to pick up what had been left out from dinner and out of no where a very real and vivid image came to my mind. A couple weeks ago, there I was standing in the pew behind  a sweet, little brown headed small framed girl about 8 years old. I stood completely frozen just admiring her worship. I just could not get my eyes away from her except when I turned to my husband and asked him to look her way. Now, I know I shouldn't have been distracted, but I was so intrigued in this child's outter expression of the joy she held inside. It was simply, beautiful. With every word that was displayed on the screen for the congergation to sing along, she would so gracefully use her arms and body to create an expression of every word...
So there I was dazzed, standing with the refrigerator door opened asking the Lord to speak to my heart the purpose of that image...a few moments later and half the kitchen cleaned He said that every adult could have that same kind of joy, not just on Sunday through Tuesday, BUT always. The beauty of small children is that they have no worry in the world other than what new barbie or video game they want next, but as adults there are so many things in our daily lives that affect, hinder, and potentially kill the joy we hold within. That should not be so. But-hectic schedules, too many tasks, overwhelming amounts of work, and all the needs of our family that fall on our shoulders=where's the joy, always? Yes, I totally know stretching thin, right? We can all breathe.

1 Peter 1:8-9 says that "Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy..."
Now, I remember the exact day this happened, truly. 19 years old October 19th, there I stood in freezing cold water up to my waist proclaiming "Jesus, with my whole heart and everything I am I LOVE YOU. Forgive me. I have not seen You, but I can feel you, living inside me I believe in you and I'm busting at the seams with this God given joy that's unexplainable!
Or so I thought...

"I will be filled with joy because of you... Psalm 9:2
"But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me." Psalm 13:5
"You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence." Acts 2:28

So what's my point? Jesus IS joy and He lives IN us; therefore, He or joy will never leaves us and I guess He was reminding me of that joy I felt the day I gave my life to Him and how I can always have that.You remember that day you opened your heart to the Lord? Just thinking about it, I bet you can't help but to feel that overwhelming joy in your heart to remember and KNOW a savior lives within you...
You see, it really is just the simple...when life gets hectic and joy seems so far, all we need to do is remember the day
Joy
came
to
stay.




"I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!" John 15:11

Dancing in the rain.

It's been a while where I could just sit and jot down thoughts, feelings, maybe's and what if's. So today during my quiet time (conference) I've decided to. I've been thinking about seasons a lot here lately. Mainly because of the weather change and the atmosphere. I see a lot of fall colors in stores, I look around and see homes decorated in this current season and well it's all causing me to think about spiritual and personal seasons.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" and recently I'm discovering I'm in a season--the season of spring. And on top of that I am spring cleaning. Cleaning my mind, renewing my heart, and making changes. I'm figuring out the older I get things come and go, and really life is just like seasons. They come and go. Something I am learning is when you hit Spring remember on your rainy days to welcome the storm, for we all know that later it brings growth, and you'll blossom. Thank you God for never allowing us to be stagnet, but at all times you bring seasons. Help us all to learn to welcome the seasons that sometimes bring drought and rain. I say, bring on the rain, wash away all you desire, I'll be dancing in the rain thanking you in advance for the growth.

-Your daughter,
Est

The Marriage Story Esther's Version ;)

Once upon a time in May of 1985 God began creating Stephen Daniel Vanover. As Stephen grew into his 20's the Lord saw there was no suitable helper for him and so He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. Gensis 2:18

When God saw Esther, He knew Stephen would make her so happy and that she would make Stephen so happy as well so in  the summer of 2006 the Lord guided their footsteps and He..."brought her to the man.” Genesis 2:22.
Esther was so overjoyed to meet Stephen she had been praying just for him! She knew immediately in her heart he was the one God had promised her.


The Lord joined them and said, "you two are who I wish to join together to enjoy your lives with one another, to receive blessing together, to create Godly children together and to be a blessing to one another...you can have all the blessings I wish to pour out on you two, but I have a few rules you must agree too.
  #1. Love me your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind-Luke 10:27
#2. Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

#3. Remember that love suffers long, and is kind; love does not envy; love does not promote itself, is not puffed up, does not behave badly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love NEVER fails. 1Corinthians 13:4-8

#4. Stephen, love your wife, as much as I love the church. Ephesians 5:25

#5. Esther, submit yourself unto Stephen, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:22

#6. Train your childen in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

And for my perfect # 7--What I your God has joined together, do NOT let man separate. Mark 10:9


"Deal?"
Deal, that sounds wonderful! And so Stephen and Esther were married on October 5th, 2006 and the Lord showered blessing on them from that day on.



"Oh, and Esther a couple of tiny details I forgot to mention before I head to another wedding" said the Lord.
"You will be recieving a lot of flowers, chocolate, attention, formal dining and love from Stephen this ONE day, but you will work for it all year picking up dirty laundry off the bathroom floor, making breakfast lunch and dinner 7 out of 7 days a week, ironing his clothes, making coffee before he wakes up, not having a say so in what to watch during football season and last but not least ever being right."

HAHA!
Hope it made you smile, because is that not the truth ladies! :)

Happy Anniversary baby, I love you!!

Who is He weeping for?

You know I've really been thinking that Jesus has feelings similar to ours. Though He is Lord and all powerful, is it crazy to think that He still cries for us?

A couple Sundays back, church dismissed so my husband and I headed to the kids church to pick up our two babies. The way it works to leave them in kids church while we are in the sanctuary is you sign in your child on an assigned grade & colored sheet, they place that same colored sticker with their name on it on their back. Anyhow, I had signed in "Addie Vanover" but on her sticker she wore I had written, Adalie.
It was my turn in line eso I approached the desk and said, "Hi, I'm here to pick up Maddox and Addie" I almost immediately saw my little chunky baby, Maddox, but no Addie. We waited for a minute, then the lady at the front desk looked behind her and said "Addie" to a helper keeping the children. She smiled at us, but looked a little confused so I opened the door to the front without permission and went to find my daughter in the class I knew she belonged. I opened the door and saw sweet faces, but not of my Addie. My heart started pounding, my hands started sweating as I started walking backwards in panic thinking I know that's where she goes. I turned and asked asked the front desk, "Addie, where's Addie?!" Tears were building quickly at this point. She looked at me in complete distress, then called the helper that had her in class. "Addie, where is Addie?" "She's already been picked up, she left completely happy with the couple who got her" a voice said. "WHAT?" I could not believe what I was hearing. Visions flooded into my mind of my child being in a random vehicle, taken.
I remember I could hear Stephen very faintly in the background telling me to calm down and that we'd find her BUT where is she is all I could think of, she's lost, where is my Addie. Gigantic tears blurred my eyes, but I saw people rushing around asking "Addie, where is Addie she in this class" Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a curly haired little girl say "Momma." I ran immediately to her it was Addie. I picked her, she through her legs around my waist and I held her head close to my neck. I was trembling like I've never experienced. It was the most horrid, awful feeling and I never put her down or quit crying for what seemed like eternity.
Come to find out she had been switched to another classroom after I had left and the classroom I thought she was in there was another little girl named "Addie". My Addie had "Adalie" on her sticker so it was all just a mix up.
We walked out to the truck, I calmed down, buckled her in and just sat silently in the passenger side. I internally gave thanks to God that Adalie was safe and in our vehicle and not in someone elses. As we drove down the highway some sort of scene played in my mind. This picture or thought rather, was of Jesus. I saw Jesus standing in a room looking around with such a sad look on His face. A look of despair, a look of disappointment much like how I looked I'm sure and I wondered.... is that how you feel Jesus when one of your children get sucked back into this world and leave you? Maybe just maybe Jesus wanted to share with me just a little of what it feels like to lose a child? I teared up again and not because of Adalie, but because it hurt me to think of all the times I've gotten lazy or lost sight of the mission He's called us to.
Now, I understand God is omnipresent, He is everywhere and is supernatural. I am human and am limited to where I can be so of course Jesus knows where His children are physically, but what I am meaning is that I connected with Him on the feelings He must feel. This was the only time I had ever experienced anything like losing Adalie, so when I think of Jesus and how He must feel everyday, it really humbles me and makes me want to seek the lost even more. I know if Maddox was older and had an understanding of what was going on, he would have started helping me look to find Addie. He wouldn't have just stood there, so it all made sense to me, and reminded me that I (we) should not forget to seek out our brothers and sisters.


I mentioned that I thought Jesus had feelings, well biblically I am reminded of "we are created in His image" (Genesis 1:27) and in John 11:35 it states that "Jesus wept" over the death of Lazarus and so what's my point? Well, my point is what would it look like if everyday we woke up with a new perspective of His feelings? What if we woke up eager to find our brothers, sisters and all those who He is weeping for...

In Him,
Est

The Matatu Flipped.

After eating supper I sat on the couch to relax for the evening, but my husband couldn't wait to get me to read what he read earlier in the day. Well after reading it, I understood why. This is called The Matatu Flipped By Palmer Chinchen

“I don’t want to miss my flight.”

If I’m honest, that was my very first thought when I watched the matatu (Kenyan passenger minivan) crammed with seventeen or eighteen people get hit, flip, and roll onto its roof, which collapsed.

Sociologists call it the phenomenon of noninvolvement. Researchers have found that bystanders often have this odd tendency not to respond to someone in dire need. Sometimes it’s out of fear, sometimes it’s simply stage fright—the worst is when people do nothing because they think it’s somebody else’s problem.
We can spend a lifetime living that way. “What you do matters.”

When I saw the matatu flip, that was my second thought: Palmer, you keep telling people that what they do matters! Too often we think what we do or how we live doesn’t matter. We think it doesn’t matter when we spend $348 on True Religion designer jeans. We think it doesn’t matter when a church in Dallas is spending 115 million dollars on their new building.
It matters…
because the way you live every day is a picture of your soul.

So I urgently yelled to my Nairobi taxi driver, “Stop!” He jumped out with me and ran to the crumpled van and began easing people over the shattered glass. Within just a few minutes everyone was out, and miraculously no one appeared seriously injured.Just when I started to think, “Bravo, Palmer—see, good thing you stopped,” my driver shouted, “They’re killing the other driver!” I spun around to see an angry mob stoning and beating the driver who had hit the matatu … to death. “Sometimes you must act in order to stop the very worst things from happening.”

That was the heart of my message in twenty-three cities last fall, when I was the speaker on the Hungry for Love tour with Sanctus Real, Leeland, and The Afters. “You must act!” We keep thinking somebody else will, but Christ left this work of the kingdom to you! There’s two lives to be lived. One is the life you live every day. The life that many times ends up becoming a tired rut sapping you of every last ounce of creative passion. But then there’s the life you dream of living. That’s the second life. For many it’s the life-unlived.
So I write this today to inspire you, to challenge you to abandon your comfortable routine and discover the exhilarating life God has waiting for you.

Back to Kenya: Without thinking, I sprinted toward the mob. They call it mob justice in east Africa. But it’s not just; it’s sick vigilantism. I knew without a doubt they would kill him if I didn’t act.

When the matatu flips, you must act.
After visiting dozens of churches on the Hungry for Love Tour I came home discouraged. Generation-excess has moved into the suburban church. In one large church the pastor proudly stated, “We just spent a million dollars on this sound system!”

I about choked. What in the world are we doing spending a million dollars on a sound system? And why do so many churches need I-Mag (Image Magnification). That’s the awesome technology that projects a really big picture of your preacher on a screen.
Here’s the simple truth we miss: just because we can … doesn’t mean we should. I say all this because the church’s focus must turn out. We’ve focus far too much of our effort and resource inward.

How will we ever rebuild countries like Haiti, or stop the spread of malaria in Africa, or free girls from sex-slavery in Thailand if we keep building kingdoms on street corners in the suburbs – instead of taking the Kingdom of God to the world.
The matatu’s flipped.
One Life Matters

Forcing my way to the middle of the raging mob, I dropped to my hands and knees over the man’s head, thinking, At least they’ll have to hit me first.

“Stop, stop! Please stop!” I yelled.

“Get out of the way—we want to kill him!” the angry young men shouted back.

“No,” I answered loudly but calmly as I looked up. “Nobody’s going to die here today.”
As they slowly dropped their stones and backed away, I helped the beaten man sit up, then carefully pulled him to his feet and brought him to the rear bumper of his van, where we sat until the mob was gone.

What I’m not saying is that Palmer Chinchen is a hero. I’m not. I simply try to live the way I tell others that Jesus told us to live—like your life matters. What you do matters.
So let’s stop being so self-indulgent and stop growing inwardly focused churches, and realize that God can use your life—your church—to change what is messed up out there.

You see, if I wait, if I don’t act—if you wait, if you don’t act—the man on the side of the road dies … literally.

The Witnessing Mile

I don't know if a causal conversation last night triggered my urge to want to read, but I woke up today with a desire to read about Jesus' teachings. There are so many good things He had to say at the Sermon on the Mount, but in all that I caught attention to one small yet powerful verse. “And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two.” (Matt 5:41) A little bit of background: in Jesus' day, the Romans had a practice that they had learned from the Persians and it was to overpower people who had been conquered through war. If a Roman soldier saw a Jewish man or boy, he could command the man or boy to carry his bags or burden for a mile. The Jewish boy or man was required by law to carry this soldier’s bags for a mile; however, most Jews would not carry their belongings one inch or one foot further than the law required. This law caused lots of resentment among the Jews toward the Roman government.

Think about how the Jews must have felt when Jesus said, “Go the second mile." Now, I do believe though Jesus was speaking to an audience in that time where things were set up differently and now we don't have to walk carrying belongings for anyone; (unless we so choose to) but I do believe the entire bible can be applied to our lives somehow or at least learn something from it. With that being said,  I believe Jesus was essentially saying that it is a good thing to do more than what is required of us. Immediately, there were two different stories I pictured in my mind. If you've read my blogs before yuo know I'm a visual person. The first thing I pictured was this Roman solider commanding this young Jewish boy in a stern, loud voice to carry his bags and in response as the boy is walking this mile he's full of anger, upset at the treatment he's recieving and perhaps even questions what has this soldier done for me that I should be kind enough to do this favor? Ever acted that way towards someone?

Anyhow, at the end of the mile I could see this young boy throw down the bags, be completely exhausted and storm off as he's completed the mile that was asked of him.
Now the second thing I thought was what if the Roman soldier commanded the Jewish boy to carry his bags in the same stern unkind way, but the response from the boy was different? What if the Jewish boy responded with a warm greeting then as he walked maybe striked up a non threathening conversation? What if at the end of the first mile, the Jewish boy said, “If you do not mind, I would be honored to carry your bags for a second mile?”
Can you just imagine the look on the soldier’s face if he heard these words?! And what IF the Roman soldier replied with, “There is something different about you. Most Jewish boys become angry when I command them to carry my bags, why are you different from others? The boy then says, "There's a savior of this world and His name is Jesus, He's taught me how to live my life, He's been my example, He's healed me and my family, He's changed my circumstances, He's delievered me and freed me, He's..." and by the time they reach the end of the second mile, this boy has shared his faith with this Roman soldier!

I know, I know lots to imagine, but now just think what if that was US? Walking in that heat, doing something only because it's a law but never acting out of love...how would we really act??
Or rather how do we act? I don't live in a cave to know that this world is not cold and ugly and I'm not afraid to say that yes, sometimes it can be hard to turn the other cheek when someone does us wrong or treats us unkindly...but I truly believe it's not just about showing kindness because that's the first mile...what if perhaps God is asking you, me, us- to do a little more (go the second mile)? Can you just think of how different our world would be if instead of not talking to that cashier at the grocery store just because she/he didn't greet us or were unkind; yet, regardless we striked up a conversation and asked how their day was? Maybe even helped load our own sacks into our buggy? Or what if that same person at your job that you just can't win for losing with, you ask to take to lunch? <--Yes that's a little different, but so is going the second mile! What if... What would it look like if we left that action print of Christ in the lives of others?
We've all heard of the saying "Go the extra mile" I hope we can all say, we now have the best reason to do just that.

With love & prayer,
Est

Swimming against the current

Yesterday wasn't an ordinary Sunday. I was tired. I was grumpy. I was exhausted. I woke up with no expectations. I woke up empty minded and can I be honest? I felt like just going through the motions. You see lately, I've been fighting a pretty big battle. It's not like any of us aren't on the daily, because we are; however, this fight has been different for many reasons....

I was standing in the Church during worship when something very interesting happened. I was singing along to the lyrics on the screen, and as I let the words resignate in my being I closed my eyes, and this is what I saw.

 



I saw myself swimming. But not the usual splashing around in the summer time swimming, really swimming. And it wasn't any fun. I saw myself swimming upstream. I was kicking as hard as I could, the water was splashing all around me because of the impact, my arms were pressing toward parting the water and I saw just how exhausted I truly was. I saw that I was fighting against this current on my own, with my own swimming abilities, and end result... I was losing. All the hard swimming and pressing was just causing me to slowly drown because no believer is strong enough to fight alone, there was one key element missing.

 Jesus.

 You see, this uphill current or tide if you will represented the things I am fighting against daily. The things I want to shove, push and move out of my way that try to drown me and at that moment it's almost like I really felt the the water coming up my throat...I ran to the altar

"Lord, I am nothing without you, not a thing, all I need is YOU. You are my safe place, You are my strength, You are my everything." And just like that I felt a peace overwhelm me. God, is too incredible... I give all glory and honor and Praise to Him because He is so faithful to remind us just how much we are in need of a savior.

As we were walking out of Church heading to the car I had not given anymore thought about anything, my heart and mind was rested..I looked down as I was carrying my son and noticed how he peacefully slept in my arms. I immediately thought wow-this is how I feel; safely placed the arms of my Father, content and peaceful knowing I no longer have to swim (fight against the current) and I knew at that moment that I was where I always needed to be.

In His Arms.

...."For the battle is not yours, but God’s"

2 Chronicles 20:15 

With Love & Prayer,

Est

5 helpful ways to resist temptation

Temptation is something we all face as Christians, no matter how long we have been following Christ. Recently, I’ve been reminded of the practical things that we can do to grow stronger and smarter in our struggle against sin. Here are some helpful suggestions.



Recognize our tendency toward sin.

James 1:14 explains that we are tempted when we become enticed by our own natural desires. The first step toward avoiding temptation, is recognizing our human tendency to be tempted by our own fleshly desires. What are some ungodly tendencies we have that lure us away easily? Writing them down and making a point to avoid those things/ situations is a good start.

Run away from the temptation.

I love the New Living Translation of 1 Corinthians 10:13. It says, "But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it."

When we are face to face with temptation, look to God and run towards Him as fast as you can. Do not entertain the thoughts.

Resist with the Word of truth.

Hebrews 4:12 says God's Word is living and active, but did you know we carry a weapon that will make our thoughts obey Jesus Christ? 2 corinthians 10:4-5 “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Though it can be helpful to read God's Word when we are being tempted, sometimes that's not practical. Even better is to practice reading the Word daily, so that eventually we have so much of it inside, we are ready whenever temptation comes. If we are reading through the Bible regularly, we will have the full counsel of God at our disposal.

Refocus with praise.

How often are we tempted to sin when our heart and mind are fully concentrated on worship to the Lord? Praising God takes our focus off of ourself and puts it on God. We may not always be strong enough to resist temptation on our own, but as we focus on God, He will give us the strength to resist and walk away from the temptation.

Repent quickly when we fail.

In several places the Bible tells us the best way to resist temptation is to flee from it (1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Corinthians 10:14; 1 Timothy 6:11; 2 Timothy 2:22). Yet still we all fail from time to time. We fail to flee. Knowing that at times we will fail—let’s be quick to repent as James 1:15 puts it best that sin "when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."

With love & prayer,

Est

What Doesn't Belong

It's amazing to me in the simple ways the Lord shows us things that are important to understand about Him.
My sister and I were talking one afternoon and she was mentioning how busy her youngest baby keeps her. Little Gracie, is a hand full, as my sister puts it. She began explaining the depth of her interests. "She gets in cabinets, closets, drawers, she finds things that are hidden, she's everywhere Est" I kinda sat there listening and smiled as she told me more about Gracie because I related all to well when Addie was her age...then my smile turned upside down when I realized I now have a little boy who will one day be doing the same and I hear they are much more busy then little girls! I have my work cut out for me that's for certain :)
Anyhow, as she was telling me just how much GG gets into, the Lord enlightened me that He is just like little Gracie.

He is everywhere! The Lord is so involved in our space that at times it makes us uncomfortable when things that are put away or hidden are brought out. "Lord, I don't want to have to deal with that, put it back!" I can just hear my sister, or any of us mothers "baby, put that back, it doesn't belong out here, it's not where it goes" But maybe just maybe that's how the Lord ruffles our feathers just like us mothers when our children ruffle ours. Perhaps there are things we hide or store away that need to be brought out in order to be dealth with. They just may need to be exposed and brought to light. Isn't it funny how when we do decide to go through drawers, closets, or anything that's been stored for a while we end up finding that there are things that may need to be thrown away?.....

Maybe there are things we store away in our hearts that the Lord gets into & exposes so we can see that maybe we need to forgive ourselves or forgive others...then perhaps it will finally allow us to throw away what doesn't belong.

With Love & Prayer,
Est

Towers

A few days ago I was reading The Tower of Babel and I feel like the Lord really enlightened me to see that He still comes and prevents towers from fully being built.

In the story of the tower of babel, (Genesis 11:1-9) the people were building a monument to themselves, to call attention to their own abilities and achievements, instead of giving glory to God. He was so displeased He came and scattered the people and confused their languages. I closed my bible and thought, "Lord, You gave them abilities, You gave them widsom, You gave them knowledge...but they didn't use what You gave them for your honor. The Lord cared enough that He came down and dismantled their plans because He saw it wasn't a good idea.
The next thought that went through my mind was "what towers are we possibly attempting to build in our own lives?" Maybe just maybe there are relationships out there that have fallen apart because it was a tower that was never meant to be built. Maybe just maybe somewhere out on Wall Street someone is wondering why they didn't get the job they applied for and come to find out the Lord saw it was a tower being built on prideful & materialistic foundation? Maybe the Lord has cared and loved us so much that He's come down and dismantled some of our towers, when they weren't centered around Him?

The Lord is so gracious that He has blessed many people with different gifts, different abilities but they are not always used for His glory. Maybe at times we think we are smart enough to plan out every detail of our life out all on our own? Do we at times think "I got this" I have it all figured out? Ever wondered  "Lord, why did this fall through, why.... I am just so confused?"
Hmmm, Maybe just maybe they were towers that were never meant to be built?

With love & prayer,
Est

The Power of a Praying Parent

 Before I became a mother, I never really understood the seriousness of parental prayers. I remember so many times when I would come home to visit while I was in college and wasn't allowed to leave the house until my mom & dad (and even siblings if they were there) gathered around me to pray. They'd speak many wonderful things into my life. I can still remember the sound of my Daddy's voice as it grew louder and more passionate as he pleaded the Lord to go with me, that where I stepped foot I'd be on safe grounds, that angels would camp around me at all tmes, that I'd be a blessing to others, that I'd be successful in what He had called me to do etc... I believe it is safe to say that it is because of my Mom & Dads consistent intercessory prayers that I have recieved blessings, protection, favor, grace, and many other things I'm sure I'll never know about.

It is our full responsibility as Christians to mark the path for our children to follow... and it all starts with prayer. I do not know everything, and I won't pretend to, but what I have learned  is that we should first pray daily that we may be good examples for our children, pray that we may reflect His word accurately in our actions, and pray that we may have the wisdom to equip our children so as they grow & encounter many challenges in this evil world, they will have His word engraved in their hearts, minds and ready on their lips.

I am so passionate about this because I have seen the impact a praying parent has made. Here is my top 10 things I pray in efforts to bless my children.
1. Pray for a hedge of protection everywhere they go.
2. Pray for overall health all the days of their life.
3. Pray for obedience, not just to their father & I, but obedience to the things of the Lord as well.
4. Pray for Godly friendships.
5. Pray for their future husband/wife.
6. Pray for their careers, that whatever the Lord may rise them up to do, that they may do it for His honor & glory.
7. Pray that they may be Children of Faith. Never doubt the Lord is in control.
8. Pray that they may be a blessing to others and shine a light for Christ in this dark & gloomy world.
9. Pray that they always stay humble, God fearing & know Gods love for them.
10. Pray that they may always find comfort in the Holy Spirit when they stumble.

My parents taught me this, and now I have the privledge to teach my own....I just wonder what they may add to their list when they have theirs : ) We are our childrens first teacher.

With love & prayer,
Est

Just one conversation with Lisa.

Have you ever met a stranger on a plane and talked the entire flight? I hadn't, until last Thursday afternoon. I had such a wonderful encounter with what seemed like an angel in disguise, that I can't keep to myself.
There I sat silently in my seat as the plane boarded when I heard a sweet voice say "Hi, may I sit with you?" I looked up and saw a beautiful lady with a smile I'll never forget. She was somewhere in her 40s and in wonderful shape by the way.
"Absolutely!" I replied and I turned sideways to let her by. She sat next to the window and mostly stared out of it until take off.
"So" she turned and faced me, "how old is he?"  "2 months" I said.... "aww he's perfect" she whispered...there was something about that comment that froze me. I couldn't even reply with a thank you, I just stared at the way she was looking at him.... there was such a tenderness to her. "I'm Lisa by the way" she extended her hand "Oh, (me clearning my throat) hi, I'm Esther, very nice to meet you"
"I've always wanted to have children" she began as she kept her eyes glued on Maddox, "but I guess the good Lord knows best" I understood at that moment the tenderness in her spirit and the look in her eyes when she saw my baby. I remained quiet as to not pry about her previous comment. She placed her head back, looked up and just began telling me her life story.

I have been so touched by Ms. Lisa that I dedicate this blog to her for the amazing testimony she carries and hope someday she reads it.

I've always thought there was a reason and purpose for everything, but last Thursday I truly believed it with all my heart. Lisa, had come from a broken home, in addition, she had also lost her baby sister by the hands of 2 men who viciously raped and beat her, then tied her lifeless body on train tracks. "Oh, the pain I felt.." I turned away as to not let her see my eyes swelling with tears. She contined on to explain that months later she got a divorce with her first husband, and how she'd remarried years later, but struggled to get her new husband in Church. "We needed Christ in our relationship" she went on "I didn't want to be divorced a 2nd time, so I begged him to attend church with me just one time....and well it wasn't easy Esther" she paused then smiled at me "God was so good and heard my heart" I smiled and she continued which I didn't mind I was so intrigued with each word she spoke.

"That's when I discovered I would never have children..." My heart sank. Ugh, just when you thought it was about to get good.....think again. I wanted to know so badly what was the cause of her infertility because I knew of a few people who battled with fertility & won their fight.....but I didn't have the courage to ask. Ms. Lisa talked about the devistation she and her husband felt when they heard the words "you'll never concieve." Honestly at that moment my heart grew angry, either because I knew what God could do, (I was ready to preach the stories of Sarah and Rachel) or because I wanted things to be different for her after everything she'd been through; regardless there was a purpose for her infertility. She turned her laptop towards me and showed me the faces of children she was looking at calling her own. She smiled so big as she talked about each one and that's when it hit me. What if every woman was able to give birth? What would happen to all these precious children that come from abused homes? I guess they'd continue to be abused, neglected or hurt? Would women truly want to birth their own and still care to take in a few more? Is it crazy to think that God may have purposely closed her womb in order to give other children hope? Because there is sin in this life some mothers make bad choices and end up getting their children taken from them, but thank God for women like Lisa! She told me she knew God had a plan for her life and it was to love children even if they weren't her flesh and blood. She told me that regardless of all her trials, failures, and hurts she still chose to love the Lord and thank Him for it all. To hear how much she had been through, then to hear her thank God for it, completely wowed me. It was so powerful.

So what's the point in me sharing this Lisa with you all? Well for starters she's amazing beyond my description of her, but listen we all have our stories. Lisa's was one of the most touching testimonies I'd ever heard and she blessed me more than she will ever know by just allowing me to listen. She taught me that life can be mean & ugly, but that does not give us an excuse to give up on trusting God and His perfect plan for us. And it challenged me. So I'll challenge you..it made me wonder who all we could reach, touch and bless if we'd allow
just
one
conversation.

In Him,
Est

Let go of the table and be a runner for Christ

The other day my husband spent his day off with the kids and I. We went over and had some lunch then he made a stop by the Family Christian Store; I thought I'd go across the street to Hobby Lobby so we parted ways. When he came by to pick me up I noticed a book laying in my seat. I remember I buckled up an as we drove home I began reading his book"Get Uncomfortable" by Todd Phillips and let me just tell you something he certainly has a way of making you feel uncomfortable, not in a negative way, but as I read several pages, I felt every bit of the word uncomfortable...
uncomfortable because his words were hitting me like a ton of bricks and here's where my story begins.

I was in complete awe as Todd introduced me to what it means to hold on to the table. I'll share a lil of the story. He talked about several years back when his boy was just learning how to walk. He said his son spent many hours, many days walking around the same table smiling, and giggling the whole time. For the time, he was very content not to venture beyond the safety of the table, but one day he let go of the table and took a steps away from it. He found himself standing on his own. Everything had changed. Now his son is older and runs everywhere, but he runs with a purpose. The baby steps were good and a nescessary part of the process of making his son a runner. And that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized what Todd was telling me. What he was telling the Christian Church. Many of us are living our Christian lives holding on to the programs, events, activities of our local church or even just content saying "I'm a Christian", but we never venture out from Sunday service, Wednesday service or weekly bible study..and though all that is great I so clearly saw that I am still hanging onto the table, when I'm called to be a runner for Christ. There are times when I want to venture out; I get a little more bold... I take a step out with an arm and leg, but I never let go. I still have one grip on the table. Why? Well because it can be uncomfortable...just like a baby, it doesn't feel safe to wander off. There's a fear of falling. When my daughter was learning to walk and made that decision to let go of the table I was there, right behind her, all bent over with my arms out ready to catch the fall. And when she did I was there picking her right back up saying "go, try again" Why would God be any different? He is my parent! Ugh I felt so silly. Can you see how all this hit me right in the face? It was overwheleming.
The book goes on to talk mostly about helping others and being a servant just like Jesus. When you look at the story of Jesus, and look at who He served it was the sick, the poor, the needy, the rejects, the "sinners". He opened himself up for service. He didn't just give lip service, He was prime example of someone who let go of the table and ran. So I thought, what can I do to serve?... because if I really want to be just like Him I have got to let go of the table. I'll admit it is comfortable to go to Sunday service, wednesday night bible study and an ocassional womens outing with sisters, but there is so much more out beyond our table we so contently walk around. There are literally lost people out there begging to know Jesus, praying for a blessing, needing a helping hand, but who do we think God uses to answer their prayers?
You.
Me.
Us!
God needs us to run quickly! He needs us to be that extended hand and deliever His message of forgivness and grace...He needs us to care for the sick and the poor, and to help plant seeds everywhere! I know you may be thinking where do I go with this? How do I start? I didn't know immediately either but with prayer God gave me a fabulous idea and you can feel free to use this as well. Every week I will carry a ten dollar bill with me every where I go and on God's lead I will give that ten dollar bill to someone and simply say "Hi, I want you to have this not because I think you need it or maybe you might I just want to bless you with a little something and tell you that Jesus loves you." If conversation opens up further than that's awesome, if not at least I did something a little uncomfortable for once and let go of the table!
What about you?
Have you walked around your table long enough? Are you ready to join me and run for Christ?
Love,
Est

My Truths

It seems like I've not been out on my own in a while, but yesterday I was able to go to the store once my hubby came home and clocked in for baby duty ;)
I came across a book that really caught my eye while I was roaming around the book area. It was titled
50 Truths Worth Knowing. What made me pick it up was I wanted to see what 50 truths were worth knowing to this particular author. Come to find out, it is a collection of 50 truths from 50 different people. I thought, if I got the chance to put in one of my truths what would I write about? Sooo, I thought it would be neat to blog about my truths. 50 sounds a bit much so i'll do 25 : )
1. After I had my first baby I promised myself to not get too consumed with my child that I forgot there was also a marriage to maintain.
2. I believe it is important to schedule out time to spend with just your spouse and continue to learn about them. ( oh and vacationing with them!!)
3. I believe in 2nd chances and forgiveness
4. If my children take anything away from my raising my desires would be that they know and love the Lord and know that I always loved and believed in them.
5. Family and friends is a huge deal to me so I believe in making efforts to keep in close touch with them.
6. I never go anywhere without my seat belt on.
7. I believe in saying I love you, it's important that people know you do.
8. I eat more than I should, but food is my weakness. And with that being said, I love cooking a good meal for my family even if there might not be seconds left :) LOL
9. I really enjoy going grocery shopping with my husband.
10. If I could go back in time for one day it would be to go play a college volleyball game one more time.
11. I believe envy is a sickness.
12. I do not let my husband out of bed on a saturday morning until we cuddle. lol
13. I am overly protective and paranoid about my children.
14. My husband has helped me grow in Christ, learn to trust and love someone.
15. I can't stand a dirty home, but don't mind if my car is a little messy
16. Writing is theraputic for me.
17. For the longest time I didn't know what I wanted to do in life, but I think i've finally figured it out.
18. I think it's important to share Jesus anywhere, whether that be a scripture on Fb, through text, causal talk at the gas station, or a testimony that you tell. And don't be afraid of boasting about Him, bible says if you boast about anything it should be about Him. (1 corinthians 1:31)
19. I believe reading Bible is the key to wisdom and essential to my childrens lives.
20. My most favorite time of the day is bedtime because we pray as a family. And hearing Adalie pray is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
21. I love the feeling of being able to count on my family and friends.
22. Arrogant people make me sad.
23. I want to sponsor a child in need.
24. Going to the movie theather excites me.
25. I try my best daily to not tell a single lie.

What are your truths?

Give Him everything.

So one moring during my reading, I came across this scripture and I literally sat on my couch for 5 mintues in awe of what I read.

"Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to Him, Jesus said, I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others.They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in EVERYTHING— ALL she had to live on". Mark 12:41-44

So why was I in awe? Well for starters I was completely impacted at the love this widow had and how much faith she displayed...To give everything she had for the cause of Christ...wow what an example. Think about her for a second, she had no husband, no money, and possibly very little to eat. A home? No telling how she lived externally, but internally boy was she rich. Rich in love, rich in faith, rich in obedience. Though she had nothing to her name in life, none of that turned this widow bitter, it didn't cause her to become angry with God, she didn't curse His name for how she lived; but instead she praised Him in her offering. My next thought was, how many times do we as Christians give or act out of our surplus or excess? This widow though she gave much less in amount than the rest we see that in God's eyes it held more worth because she whole heartedley wanted to give Him everything she had.
What did this teach me?
Honestly it taught me that my life, the money I make, the children and husband I have, the friends I love, they are not MINE. It all belongs to Him... So in essence I have nothing but myself as an offering....and that is all He wants.. For us all to give ourselves up to Him...not just a piece of us, but ALL that we are for we hold more worth than anything money can offer.


Won't you give Him everything you have? YOU.
All you have to live on? Your heart.


Love,
Est

I promise to let the peace of Christ rule in my heart

Well Hello Blog followers!
My apologies for not posting this sooner, things have been a little busy in the Vanover home :) If you haven't heard yet I've given birth to my son little Maddox Cross. He is everything I could have dreamed of, he has brought so much joy and happiness to our lives.

Besides being a busy wife & mommy of 2  for the past 3 weeks,  I also discovered during this time that I am worlds worst at adjusting to sudden change. If you know me you know I am typically an open book for all to read, and someone once told me that others can only learn from our openess...well I've thought about that many times and I think they are right-- So here's to being open.

Since having my son there have been a lot of quick changes going on in our lives. Some good, some.... Well it's just going to take some time to get used to sort of thing. God knows me best, better than I know myself and because of that He is always finding ways to help me grow, mature and learn. He never wants us to become idle, but rather always looking to perfect us in our walk and well He has found yet another thing in me that needed a little refining. This time it was..
Peace.

What is peace? An interal calmness? A sense of relaxation? According to the web it was defined as the state of prevailing during the absence of war and the absence of mental stress/anxiety. So wait a second webster! Does this mean we have no hope during a season of war or when life brings us stress? As petty as these small changes are, they did bring a certain level of stress to me simply because I am a more of a routine friendly type girl. Nonetheless, I found myself feeling so restless, so uneasy, very much opposite of the word peace..so as I soaked in the tub one evening recently I said, "God, you are the supreme definition of peace, let that peace you give rule in my heart always--do not let doubt, fear of the unknown or discouragment rule my heart, but only your peace." And that was it, I stepped out of that bath feeling a million times better knowing that I don't have to deal with anything alone, I don't have to be stressed or wish I could change something-- with God I can actually have peace DURING my battles, all I had to do was ask for it. John 14:27 says "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

What I gathered from this scripture was even though the definitions stated there had to be an absence of war or stress to have peace; I believe it just takes the knowledge & presence of God to obtain it. God is right in this world we will have trouble, but when those troubles come how do we react? Are our hearts troubled, do we become fearful and full of doubt? I learned to do none of the above, A) because His word says to NOT be or do any of those and B) because He promises that instead we can turn to Him for a deposit of peace. What a wonderful, amazing God! Isaiah 26:3 says "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You." All we have to do is excerise our trust. In essence peace is a choice, you have to make a choice to trust God daily and if we can trust God then we can trust He will give us the peace He promises.....
but also promise yourself to let the peace of Christ rule in your heart<3




 "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." 2 Thessalonians 3:16
Love,
Est

Yes, I am willing, be clean.

“When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.” Matthew 8:1-3

I’ve read these verses a time or two before, and it never really meant anything deeper than what it was saying. (Jesus heals a man of leprosy) But, recently I scanned over it, and it was different this time around. I stopped and re-read these 3 verses 4 times in a row and with each time I read it slower.

After the 4th reading, I understood something more profound than just “Jesus healed a man with leprosy.” I saw something.
I saw myself.

This man had been carrying a disease. A burden. He was ill. He had been carrying around a sickness that was visible for all to see. His flaw was completely exposed out in the open for anyone to ridicule, judge, or gossip about..(I’ll get to more of that in a moment.) It doesn’t specify how long he carried around his sickness, but what I do notice is there came a time in this man’s life where he had made the choice to be willing and open for healing. Many people may look at this scripture as an example of just how amazingly willing Jesus is to make us clean; all we have to do is humbly ask, but for me it screamed something louder.

I relate to this man, not on the same level of course, but in a couple ways. There was a time in my life when I carried around a disease visible for all to see. It wasn’t an internal disease of sin I could hide, but I was noticeably sick. My actions were all too evident.  I was spiritually ill. At that time in my life, I wasn’t looking for a healing; I was comfortable being stuck in my selfish ways and if that wasn’t bad enough--I was never willing to kneel before the Lord. I was never willing for Him to reach out and touch me. There was no acknowledgment of Christ in my life. The world was my best friend. I thought all I needed was right in front of me. I was what the world likes to say "living it up." I carried my flaws on the outside for a few months-the parties, the heavy drinking, the boys, the drama, my selfishness; completely exposed for all to judge… and boy was I. But even then, I still didn’t feel the need to be different. It wasn't even that I was scared to be different obviously what people thought about me didn't bother me,  I just didn’t want change. I was NOT willing…simply not willing to give up my sicknesses…
...until one day I was reminded I could only serve one master. I could either live temporary for this world or live for Christ, but whichever I decided there was consequences and only 2 destinations that I could spend eternity. These verses clearly show the willingness of Christ to change a situation immediately, but it also took the willingness of the man that allowed Jesus to touch and rid him of his disease...acknowledging He is the only one capable of doing such thing.

Jesus has only one desire for us—yep just one. And that is for us to Be Willing.

When a person is willing they are saying “yes”. Our “yes” or our willingness rather creates an opening in our being that allows the Holy Spirit to do things, change things, remove things all while supernaturally He’s healing us, teaching us, guiding us…making us clean. Willingness encourages us to obey and give God control of our lives. Willingness can bring on a Christ-like lifestyle that pleases Him.  Willingness says yes I will choose to be different. But it all starts with a choice.

I would like to encourage those who have never been willing in the past, to kneel before a God that solely desires for you to be cleansed & healed from your past, bad memories, failures, fears, and daily insecurities. He wants us all to be willing to surrender what we are for what we could become in Him. He is always willing to cleanse us from all our infirmities, our sins of our past, present and future.. But the question is are we willing to let Him?
It really is your choice, for we already know His answer is "Yes, I am willing, be clean."

With love & prayer,

Est