You know I've really been thinking that Jesus has feelings similar to ours. Though He is Lord and all powerful, is it crazy to think that He still cries for us?
A couple Sundays back, church dismissed so my husband and I headed to the kids church to pick up our two babies. The way it works to leave them in kids church while we are in the sanctuary is you sign in your child on an assigned grade & colored sheet, they place that same colored sticker with their name on it on their back. Anyhow, I had signed in "Addie Vanover" but on her sticker she wore I had written, Adalie.
It was my turn in line eso I approached the desk and said, "Hi, I'm here to pick up Maddox and Addie" I almost immediately saw my little chunky baby, Maddox, but no Addie. We waited for a minute, then the lady at the front desk looked behind her and said "Addie" to a helper keeping the children. She smiled at us, but looked a little confused so I opened the door to the front without permission and went to find my daughter in the class I knew she belonged. I opened the door and saw sweet faces, but not of my Addie. My heart started pounding, my hands started sweating as I started walking backwards in panic thinking I know that's where she goes. I turned and asked asked the front desk, "Addie, where's Addie?!" Tears were building quickly at this point. She looked at me in complete distress, then called the helper that had her in class. "Addie, where is Addie?" "She's already been picked up, she left completely happy with the couple who got her" a voice said. "WHAT?" I could not believe what I was hearing. Visions flooded into my mind of my child being in a random vehicle, taken.
I remember I could hear Stephen very faintly in the background telling me to calm down and that we'd find her BUT where is she is all I could think of, she's lost, where is my Addie. Gigantic tears blurred my eyes, but I saw people rushing around asking "Addie, where is Addie she in this class" Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a curly haired little girl say "Momma." I ran immediately to her it was Addie. I picked her, she through her legs around my waist and I held her head close to my neck. I was trembling like I've never experienced. It was the most horrid, awful feeling and I never put her down or quit crying for what seemed like eternity.
Come to find out she had been switched to another classroom after I had left and the classroom I thought she was in there was another little girl named "Addie". My Addie had "Adalie" on her sticker so it was all just a mix up.
We walked out to the truck, I calmed down, buckled her in and just sat silently in the passenger side. I internally gave thanks to God that Adalie was safe and in our vehicle and not in someone elses. As we drove down the highway some sort of scene played in my mind. This picture or thought rather, was of Jesus. I saw Jesus standing in a room looking around with such a sad look on His face. A look of despair, a look of disappointment much like how I looked I'm sure and I wondered.... is that how you feel Jesus when one of your children get sucked back into this world and leave you? Maybe just maybe Jesus wanted to share with me just a little of what it feels like to lose a child? I teared up again and not because of Adalie, but because it hurt me to think of all the times I've gotten lazy or lost sight of the mission He's called us to.
Now, I understand God is omnipresent, He is everywhere and is supernatural. I am human and am limited to where I can be so of course Jesus knows where His children are physically, but what I am meaning is that I connected with Him on the feelings He must feel. This was the only time I had ever experienced anything like losing Adalie, so when I think of Jesus and how He must feel everyday, it really humbles me and makes me want to seek the lost even more. I know if Maddox was older and had an understanding of what was going on, he would have started helping me look to find Addie. He wouldn't have just stood there, so it all made sense to me, and reminded me that I (we) should not forget to seek out our brothers and sisters.
I mentioned that I thought Jesus had feelings, well biblically I am reminded of "we are created in His image" (Genesis 1:27) and in John 11:35 it states that "Jesus wept" over the death of Lazarus and so what's my point? Well, my point is what would it look like if everyday we woke up with a new perspective of His feelings? What if we woke up eager to find our brothers, sisters and all those who He is weeping for...
In Him,
Est
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