Really?? Yes....really.

I am certain that I have sat down to write in my blog approximately 148 times over the past couple of months. This past Wednesday during Grace Group (Wednesday night bible study gathering) I was talking to a couple of church friends and I mentioned how I have been completely neglectful of a tool the Lord has given me to use to spread His love, His Word and testimony. I left Wednesday evening feeling motivated, uplifted and inspired again so, here I am.

By the way I know that blogs, in some cases, have been used as an outlet to express controversial thoughts without confrontation, used for self recognition, and/ or approval, but my deepest desire is that you would find this blog to be everything contrary of that and that these words would not be read as MY words, but those of Christ who speaks with humility, substance, love and grace.

Each day that Lord allows me to face, I wake up with the intention of striving for honesty and well, today I’d like to be really honest with you about what has been on my mind and in my heart. In the past few days -2 weeks or so I’ve discovered some rather tragic news and have been involved in what could have been tragic news as well so a part of me has felt a little overwhelmed (and naturally so I suppose.) Questions began to surface, so many thoughts began to be entertained, and if not careful, fear/ disappointment begins to creep into our heart when we open ourselves up to allowing our mind to wonder all the whys” & “what ifs”.

In really thinking about the news I’ve heard in these last couple weeks and what I experienced recently it actually brought up some really regretful thoughts then more desirable thoughts like what really matters in life. Death is a natural thing, and though it cuts us the deepest when we hear about it, we refuse to think about it, it really is something we will all go through with our loved ones and we really will face ourselves.

I am not too much of a dweller, but I did sit alone quietly on Saturday for some time and my mind went back in time remembering people that have entered my life for a season, then slipped into eternity and I found myself sitting there questioning, “During that time you had a part in their life what good did you really pour into their life? Or bad? Or…. none at all? Esther! Did you really share Jesus with them?” Panic set in ( that last question in particular really haunted me so let me address that first).

Romans 10:14-15 says “How, then, can they (people) call on the One they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the One of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

You see, it really is our job as Christians to spread the good news about Jesus even in this controversial, “non wanting to hear it” and “just wanting acceptance” world, we must be bold and share the truth. I can desire all I want that no one would suffer and that all would be in God’s glory to see our Savior face to face, but if I do not open my mouth or move my feet then do I live in vain? Ouch, that really hurt. I now more than ever have a burning desire to remind us that tomorrow is not a promise for any soul on this earth and that we all really need Jesus, so badly.

Another thought I had was, “In that time of knowing them how did I treat them? You see, people really matter. Sometimes in our hectic and frantic lives we forget that and we dig ourselves deeper into our world forgetting that friend or loved one that at one point poured good into your life and helped when no else would. Then they are gone, and well you find yourself on the edge of bed thinking did I really show them while I could that I loved them even if it was just one phone call a month? Did they really know I loved and appreciated them? It really does matter that we show our love, God’s love, to those around us because people really are hurting in this world. We always think it is so cliché to say, but a friendly smile, yea-you’d be surprised how it can positively affect someone’s day. (And if I can just say really quick that being upset about petty little issues is meaningless and if we’d really humble ourselves to see that just as they made a mistake, we make mistakes too, but our flesh clings to being hung up on an offense rather than covering their mistakes with love like we should. (“Love covers all wrongs...” Proverbs 10:12) It matters that we are there to help one another in time of need. I even thought, “My God forgive me if ever, I could have been an act of an answered prayer for someone and selfishly did not follow through.” What that means is, sometimes what people are praying for, God has already revealed to us or given us the wisdom to share that knowledge, hope or encouragement that someone needs to hear, but we get so caught up in our lives that we forget such a significant purpose we have here on earth- to be an extended arm of God.

I pray that we would all really begin to remember from this day forward that people matter.
Wrapping up with my final thought on Saturday left me with a smile and it was “There are so many things you think matter, but they really don’t so when you find yourself at the end of your life Esther, what would you really like for your children to know what really matters in life?” I found the answer to be clear and this was it: “I want Adalie and Maddox to know that trophies, awards, acceptance, money, fame, wealth, popularity and high self esteem really do not matter in this life, but what I want them to know that does REALLY matter is to truly love people with no regard to skin color, to be sympathetic towards people, to give cheerfully with no intention of wanting a return, to desire a close relationship with God each day, to be a positive influence to all those around you sometimes you are the only Bible people read, to be bold and stick to their word, to have courage to take stand for Jesus in Jr. High and High School when it seems uncool to do that, to have manners and discipline, to smile at others often, to be humble and place others before you, to give people the benefit of doubt, to give to the needy regardless if you think they are going to use it for the wrong reason it isn’t your job to judge that, but it is your job to give, to remember when times get tough God is always near and is our hope is in Him, to not care what others think, to stay in tune with God’s voice, to remember to help the little old woman with groceries, to pray for others more than for yourself, to not get so caught up in their lives they forget those they love, to never place money as a god, and to always stay within God’s will.

Yea….I get it. This is what REALLY matters. Thank you God for a new perspective.