I have gathered my thoughts ordingly so I will do my best
to stay on topic. I believe that in my life I have kept so
much hidden, (yes I know even as much as it seems I share)
I've been in such a secret place that for once in my life,
I feel...delievered.
I've stuggled with feeling unworthy since I can remember.
And it wasn't until recently that freedom has reigned. When
I was in college before I went to bible school, I was given
a word of prophecy that
--I was told that I was called to be more than average, and
I had better get ready because God was going to use me in
mighty ways.
Now Est,
hang on a second, this is what you're talking about.
Feeling unworthy to even say that because in my eyes
i'm a sinner, far from perfect and yet God chose me?
In the book of Exodus chapter 4 Moses stands before
the burning bush (God) If you read along it says God asks
Moses What is that in your hand?"
"A staff," Moses replied. Just a walking stick to help him
deal with the uneven journey of life. He saw no special
significance in it. God did not ask Moses what the object
was in his hand because God had never seen it before,
God is all knowing, but He asked so Moses could Identify
what it was in his hand. Stay with me. Now later down the
scripture God tells Moses to throw his staff
down and once the Lord gave commands on all Moses was to
do God asked him to then pick up his staff and so because
GOD had touched what was so insignificant to Moses--
he would now preform miraculous signs with it!! Verse 17.
Amazing! It makes sense. What I see when I look at what
is in my hands, I see nothing. No talents, no abilities,
but GOD has touched me, changed me, and now because I've
heard him loud and clear I will use my hands {what God gave me}
to reach the lost!
Satan has always found a way to shut me down, minimizing
the fire that is alive and burning deep within me, he
made me think "but remember this, remember that time,
or people are going to make fun of you, people want
you to fail." Well, Satan guess what buddy? YOU FAILED.
I am victorious, my God is above you or any other god,
you are a deciever and let me remind you that when Jesus
asked me back in 2004 if I would accept my calling,
I hesitated and you had me for a minute...but now-I
WILL GO, I will live the way I am destined to and
I will prosper not because of my ability or talents,
but because greater is HE that is in me, then he that
is in the world! Yes, that's you!! There I've said it,
I've declared it, In Jesus name-Amen and Amen. {man, I
feel like preaching!!}
This blog took a lot of courage for me. I experienced
this delieverence only a week ago and I wasn't sure how
to explain myself {talk good about myself}. I'm great at
talking about My flaws, My imperfections because the
enemy reminded me of them 24 hours a
day--but at Church this past Sunday Pastor Rowe called us
out! Stephen and I stood before him at the altar and he told
us-"It's your time." No more feeling unworthy, no more being
afraid, live a life of Victory.
You may ask well why put it on the internet for
all to see? To get attention? No. Entertainment?
Absolutely not. Then why? Because, I know many people out
there that may be embarrassed, ashamed, afraid- like I
was once, to be different. Because someone may know your
past, or you're told you're not good enough, smart enough
you know something I rebuke that in Jesus name!
Let me tell you something God is so amazing. When I was
touched at that altar I knew I would never be the same. And he can do that
for you!! I put myself out there to say what people are
really feeling deep down. I will GO, I'll be the one to stand,
I'll be the one to encourage people that it is ok to walk in confidence,
I'll be the one to help others speak life into their
valleys of death and I will always be careful to give
all glory and honor to God.
Lord, I know we are not to be labeled as average--we are
Christians called to a higher purpose and you have called
us to be your extended arms here on earth so others can
know you and experience you...I pray that every
eye that reads these words may feel you tugging at their hearts, Lord I pray you empty out all their feelings of unworthiness, shame of their past or present because your word says that in you
we are a new creature and all things in the past are made
new. Help me God in all areas in my life--for You are all
I'm living for. Thank you for delievering me last Sunday,
as I stood before you I knew I would never be the same.
You've WON Jesus, I will GO.
I love you but of course you already knew that.
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